Chapter 218
Chapter 218
Downstairs, Xu Fei was spraying spittle as he fed Liu Ye an endless stream of nonsense.
“Back in the early 2000s, the director of our orphanage could really have accomplished something if he hadn’t drunk so much. But then…”
In the middle of his rambling, Xu Fei saw the Driver come downstairs and give him an okay sign.
He immediately changed the subject.
“But then… well, Brother Liu, look over there!”
Liu Ye turned his head and saw red paper covering every manhole cover. At the same time, the sharp popping of “firecrackers” rang in his ears.
“Now that’s more like it. Let’s go upstairs and take a look.”
Liu Ye and the others entered the building. When they reached the sixth floor, they found the Mimic Fiend trying to pick its own lock with a length of wire. The instant it saw the Driver, it opened its mouth.
“Lü-”
Smack!
The Driver slapped it across the face and knocked it aside. Then he took out the key and opened the door.
“Here we are. This is the place. Look, the decorations are quite good. The building may be old, but it isn’t cheap. Renting it costs tens of thousands a day.”
“Wow, that much?”
Liu Ye stared at Xiaoshuai in shock.
Xiaoshuai immediately raised his voice.
“Of course! Taking a wife is a once-in-a-lifetime event. Naturally, it costs money! Brother Liu, go look inside. I bought all the furniture especially for this!”
The Driver said nothing.
This brat had learned a thing or two from him.
Everyone entered the apartment. The Mimic Fiend approached while holding its nose.
“You-”
Bang!
The Driver slammed the door and locked it outside yet again.
The Mimic Fiend fell silent.
“Get out of there! That’s my home! Is there no justice in this world? You’re illegally occupying my property!”
“Hm? What’s that noise?” Liu Ye asked in surprise from inside.
“Oh, the wedding guests are arriving. A wedding should be lively,” the Driver replied with a smile.
Satisfied, Liu Ye walked farther into the apartment. It really was a fine place. It could not compare to John’s home, but it was far better than where Liu Ye lived.
“All right, this place will do. By the way, where are the groomsmen and bridesmaids? Brother Guiwa told me every wedding has them, and the two sides play games together.”
Everyone fell silent.
Why did this Brother Guiwa have so many damn opinions? Why was he always teaching the child such ridiculous nonsense?
“You don’t have any?” Liu Ye asked, glaring at Xiaoshuai.
“We do! Of course we do! Groomsmen and bridesmaids, right?” Xiaoshuai looked desperately toward the Driver for help.
The Driver hurriedly opened the door.
“Lü-”
“Oh, stop getting in the way! You have no awareness at all!”
With that, the Driver raced downstairs.
The Mimic Fiend reached after him pitifully, then lowered its hand. Wrapped in its own quilt, it sat on the floor looking exceptionally forlorn.
The Driver reached the ground floor and located the coffin in which John was lying. He kicked it onto its side, then dragged out a dazed John.
“Brother Lü… what is this?”
“No time to explain. It’s an emergency.”
John made one groomsman. The Driver then picked several Zhao family members at random. Liu Ye was face-blind anyway and would never recognize them.
At last, they had enough groomsmen and bridesmaids, and Liu Ye was satisfied.
“Then let’s play a game.”
The instant they heard the word “game,” Uncle Bai and all the Funeral Band Fiends backed far away.
Everyone else was confused. It was only a game. Was such caution truly necessary?
Then Liu Ye produced a round land mine with a fuse.
“Here, this is a game people in our village used to play at weddings. It’s called Pass the Land Mine, and it helps everyone bond.”
Everyone fell silent.
This was not any wedding game they knew!
The Driver gave Uncle Bai a dark look. He had wanted to ask this for a long time: what in the world had they taught Liu Ye?
“There was no helping it. He was too unruly as a child. Some Fiends in the village couldn’t stand him anymore and tried to kill him, so… they played these games with him. But if you want a child to play, you need an excuse, don’t you? Guiwa was the one who made this up…”
The Driver said nothing.
So that was why Liu Ye’s common sense was so warped. These heartless bastards had caused all of it!
“Come on, let’s begin!”
Liu Ye lit the fuse.
“NO!”
Everyone screamed in perfect unison.
A few minutes later…
Boom!
The earth shook and the mountain trembled. The Zhao family members waiting outside nearly died of fright. What was happening in there?
For the next several hours, explosions continued booming from inside without pause.
The Mimic Fiend outside the door was almost driven insane. Wasn’t this supposed to be a wedding? What in the world were they doing in there?
At last, the apartment door opened. The Driver emerged with his face charred black. When he opened his mouth, a cloud of black smoke drifted out.
“Well, Brother Shen, we’re finished with the apartment. You can have it back. Thank you for your help.”
With that, he hurried away. The Funeral Band Fiends followed, carrying the battered Zhao family members as they rushed out. Liu Ye emerged after them, looking thoroughly satisfied.
Now that was more like it. A wedding was supposed to be lively!
Once everyone had left, the Mimic Fiend hurriedly opened the door and stepped inside.
The moment it entered, a cold breeze swept past. It looked around blankly. Another gust blew through, and the wall behind it collapsed with a thunderous crash.
“WHERE THE HELL IS MY HOME?” the Mimic Fiend roared.
Every wall around the apartment had vanished. Even the floors above it were completely gone.
The only part of the apartment left was the floor beneath its feet.
The Mimic Fiend fell silent.
“LÜ MAO! YOU-”
Down below, the rest of the Zhao family nearly wet themselves when they saw the battered group. What had happened? What ordeal had they endured? Weren’t they only supposed to serve as groomsmen and bridesmaids? How had it reduced them to this state?
Was this what a wedding in the Fiend world looked like?
“Then let’s continue. The wedding comes next. Xu Fei, how are the wedding preparations going?”
The wedding?
Everyone looked at one another. That was right. The wedding had not even happened yet.
Grief filled their hearts. If the preparations had already been this terrible, wouldn’t the wedding itself kill them?
They had thought they were clinging to a powerful protector. Who could have known they were embracing a land mine?
The reputation of this walking nuclear warhead was fully deserved!
“Now you understand our suffering, don’t you?” Uncle Bai wrote on his whiteboard.
“This is how we have lived for all these years. For the sake of our peace, you must never let him come back!”
The Driver had no words.
Then what am I supposed to do? You can’t endure him, but neither can I!
“Brother Lü, what do we do about the wedding?” Xiaoshuai asked as he approached, his face covered in soot.
“My friend’s restaurant is nearby. Let’s go.”
The Driver could no longer be bothered with preparations. They only needed to muddle through somehow.
He swore that if he ever went out with Liu Ye again, he was a dog!
The group set out once more. This time, the things inside the coffins stopped causing trouble. Even the ones that had already emerged threw the humans back out, then climbed into their coffins again.
Their only desire was to avoid seeing Liu Ye at all costs.