Chapter 2

Chapter 2

That evening, the entire population of Black Cow Village gathered at the village chief’s house.

At the moment, Father Liu was clutching a small tree branch, wailing uncontrollably.

“Waaaah! My old partner! You died such a miserable death! You survived over a thousand years, through wind and rain and all sorts of tribulations, only to be taken out today for a cup of herbal tea! Tomorrow would have been your one thousand two hundredth birthday! Waaaah… *cough, cough, cough*.”

His throat felt a bit dry from the crying, so he picked up a cup of locust tree tea from the table and took a sip.

“Waaaah, this is delicious…”

“Enough, stop howling. It’s been so many years; is there anyone here who hasn’t been victimized by that kid?”

The speaker was a pitch-black infant. His mouth, as it opened and closed, was filled with terrifying, jagged teeth.

“Take me, for example. I’m a Resentful Infant! I’m supposed to be this small, but that kid insisted I was malnourished and forced me to drink milk every single day…” After Guiwa finished speaking, he instinctively turned his head to look aside.

“Hmph!”

A bull-headed Fiend clutched his chest and turned his head away with a huff of indignation.

Guiwa closed his eyes in pain.

Now that the floodgates were open, the others began to chime in. Liu Ye’s Mother spoke up with a sob in her voice.

“What you suffered was merely physical, but what I suffer is mental! I am a Joyous Funeral Fiend! Before I died, I was a proper young lady from the south, speaking with a pure, elegant Wu accent. But look at me now.”

Liu Ye’s Mother tugged at her sleeves.

“My bridal gown has been turned into a floral padded jacket, and my accent has flown so far north I can’t even find it. When I went to the Ghost Market to buy things a few days ago, those bastards actually called me ‘Auntie.’ Who could stand that? Waaaah!”

As she spoke, Liu Ye’s Mother covered her face and began to weep.

Sitting cross-legged on the heated brick bed was a small old man smoking a pipe. He looked exactly like an ordinary human, unlike the other Fiends who still displayed their ghostly forms.

However, as he puffed out clouds of smoke, miserable screams echoed from his tobacco pouch every now and then, proving he was far from ordinary.

He was the Village Chief of Black Cow Village! He was the most terrifying existence in the village-a Terror-level entity who could easily influence an entire nation in the outside world.

Yet at this moment, his face was filled with melancholy.

“I know all about your hardships, but what choice do I have? I had a perfectly good Fiend Domain, and look what that kid did to it. Now we’re actually making a living by selling Peachwood Swords. Currently, we’re the primary source for the weapons humans use to fight Fiends out there. The other old fogies are starting to have a real problem with me.”

The Village Chief spoke gloomily.

“Well, what are we supposed to do? If they have a problem, let them take the kid to their place and see if they can handle him,” Guiwa said crossly.

But as soon as he spoke, he noticed every Fiend in the room was staring at him.

“What… what are you all looking at me for? Was I wrong?” Guiwa stammered.

“Right! You’re absolutely, one hundred percent right!” the Village Chief exclaimed excitedly.

When that kid first appeared in their village, they thought he would be a delicious meal. Who could have guessed he would be a total disaster?

Whenever that kid got angry, he would erupt with an intense light that caused them excruciating pain-a pain that seeped into their very marrow, making it unbearable.

They had tried to send him away, but as soon as the kid reached the edge of the village, he would start crying non-stop, which caused them endless agony.

They had tried to kill him, but whenever they attempted it, they were the ones who ended up suffering the misfortune. They had tried to starve him, but his crying made them roll on the ground in pain. In the end, they had no choice but to raise him.

They figured that as a human, he would live a hundred years at most. To them, time held no meaning.
But who could have imagined that this kid would constantly, albeit unintentionally, craft things that countered them? Several Fiends in the village had already been finished off by him. If this continued, they wouldn’t be able to outlast him. However, Guiwa’s recent words suddenly made everything click.

“That’s right! The boy is already this old. We can just send him out of the village. Back when he was an infant, we couldn’t reason with him, but he’s grown up now,” Liu Ye’s Mother said excitedly.

“Exactly!”

“This is great! Our suffering is finally over!”

“Hooray!!!”

“Uh, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. What reason are we going to use to get him to leave?” Guiwa suddenly asked.

As soon as he spoke, the surroundings fell silent. Indeed, what reason could they use?

At that thought, they all turned their gaze toward Guiwa.

Guiwa froze, then said in a panic, “Why are you all looking at me again?”

“Guiwa, that’s a very good question. Since you asked such a fine question, we’re leaving this matter to you,” the Village Chief said, patting his head with a heavy, earnest tone.

Guiwa: “…”

*I shouldn’t have opened my damn mouth.*

“No, I can’t do it! Every time I see that kid now, I lose control and feel like I need to run to the bathroom,” Guiwa said anxiously.

He couldn’t help it; after all these years, he had developed a stress response.

“It’s fine. I’ll get you a diaper later,” the Village Chief said with a gentle expression.

Guiwa: “…”

*Listen to that. Is that something a human would say? Oh, wait… this guy isn’t human.*

“Anyway, this is your responsibility now. If you don’t handle it properly, I’ll make you sleep on the same heated brick bed as that kid tonight.”

Upon hearing this, Guiwa became even more frantic.

“Wait, aren’t you just making life impossible for a ghost? I’m just an infant…”

Before he could finish, the curtain at the door was lifted, and Liu Ye walked in from outside.

“Brother Guiwa, Uncle Zhang said you were looking for me?”

Guiwa stared with his two blood-red eyes at the pig-headed butcher standing by the door. The butcher picked his nose and instinctively avoided Guiwa’s gaze.

“Yes, your Brother Guiwa has something to discuss with you.”

The Village Chief gave Guiwa a shove, pushing him to the front.

“We’re starting already? At least give me some time to prepare!” Guiwa said, having a mental breakdown.

“What is it, Brother Guiwa?” Liu Ye asked curiously.

“Yeah, he’s asking you. What is it? Hurry up and say it, don’t dawdle,” the Village Chief urged.

“Seriously, are you trying to drive a ghost to his death?” Guiwa’s face turned green.

He sputtered for a long while before finally blurting out, “Well, the thing is… right! The Peachwood Swords from the village aren’t allowed to be sold anymore. The village won’t be able to make any money from now on!” Guiwa clapped his hands as he spoke.

The Village Chief and the others’ eyes lit up. This was a great lead-in.

Hearing this, Liu Ye asked anxiously, “Why aren’t they allowed to be sold?”

Guiwa blinked. *How should I know why they aren’t allowed to be sold?*

He looked to the other Fiends for help, but the lot of them were either staring at the sky or the ground. Not a single one looked back at him.

“Seriously, someone help me out here!!!”

“He… he’s asking you. Hurry up and answer the boy. Why can’t they be sold?” The Village Chief saw that Liu Ye was getting upset and immediately grew anxious. If the boy got sad, they were the ones who would suffer!

The Fiends all fixed their gazes on Guiwa. Under this immense pressure, Guiwa had a sudden flash of inspiration and blurted out:

“It… it… it promotes feudal superstition! The higher-ups won’t let us sell them!”

The Fiends: “…”

*What a perfect excuse!*