Chapter 156
Chapter 156
If Du Yuwei hadn’t awakened my memories as Li Fuguang, I don’t think I would have believed the ghost standing before me even if he claimed to be my father.
But now that I had recalled all of Li Fuguang’s memories, I carried his emotions as well.
To a certain extent, the man in front of me was indeed my father.
I didn’t dare think too deeply about how much he had suffered or the hardships he had endured while searching for me after Lv Zhengxian kidnapped me. Every detail felt like a blade carving into my heart.
“I remember. Of course I remember.”
I wiped my blurred eyes and said, “When I was five, I got a cavity because I loved sweets. My tooth ached so much at night that I couldn’t stop crying. You carried me out for a walk in the streets late at night to coax me to sleep. But the moment we got back to the front door, I woke up again, and you had to take me back out.”
“For seven nights in a row, you barely slept, and you still had to go to work during the day.”
“Even my grandmother said you were more like a mother to me than my own mom was.”
My father let out a hearty laugh, suddenly looking a bit embarrassed. “I didn’t expect you to remember such a small thing. To be honest, I’d forgotten. It was… such a long, long time ago.”
“Your mother always wanted the three of us to sit down and have a good meal together again. It’s just a pity she didn’t live to see this day.”
“I’m fulfilling your mother’s wish, but I have no way to cook for you myself. I had to trouble Seventh Master to prepare this table of fine food.”
My father looked at me and sighed. “You were such a picky eater when you were little. You wouldn’t eat this or that. I was so worried you wouldn’t grow tall. I don’t know if you’re still picky now… I won’t have the chance to supervise you anymore. But now that you’re on your own, you must take good care of yourself.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not picky anymore…” Before I could finish, I choked up so hard that I quickly shoved a mouthful of food into my mouth.
Afraid he would worry about my eating habits, I took a portion from every single dish. The food didn’t just land in my bowl; that bowl was filled with my tears.
My father kept talking about things from my childhood, and I remembered every bit of it.
Not only did I remember, but I could recall every single detail.
I gradually stopped crying and talked a lot with my father.
But time was short. Even if I stuffed myself to the point of bursting, the food would eventually be finished, the candles would eventually burn out, and my father would eventually have to leave.
He looked at me, his face full of guilt. “I’m sorry, son. I failed to protect you, and I failed to protect your mother. I missed out on your upbringing and let you go through so many terrible things. I hope you’ll be happy in the future. Live well, and keep looking forward.”
The tears I had managed to stop began to flow again. I choked out, “It’s my lack of filial piety. I caused you so much suffering, and I never got the chance to repay you and Mom for raising me. I’m the one who should say sorry.”
I walked him to the door.
Out on the flat ground of the yard, Seventh Master was burning joss paper for my father.
My heart was filled with an unbearable reluctance to let go and an overwhelming sense of helplessness.
“Well, everyone has to face this day eventually.”
Seventh Master looked up at us, seemingly offering words of comfort. “Man is born between heaven and earth, and in the end, he must return to heaven and earth. Birth, old age, sickness, death, and the parting of loved ones-these are the constants of life and the laws of nature. You must try to see past it.”
“Seventh Master, words cannot express my gratitude. I’ve troubled you greatly these past few years.” My father bowed deeply to Seventh Master. “You are a good man, and you will be rewarded for your kindness. Yanzhou will not have the chance to repay you.”
Seventh Master smiled and said, “Yanzhou, the suffering of this life is surely the debt of a past life. Since the debt is paid, your next life will surely be blessed. You are a good man and a good father. Very soon, you will have a new life.”
“Let go of the obsessions of this life. Seventh Master won’t be seeing you off any further; you must walk the road ahead on your own.”
My father nodded and looked at me as I sobbed uncontrollably. “Son, Dad has to go now. I’ve heard a bit about your situation from Seventh Master. It breaks my heart, but there’s nothing I can do. Since I can’t stay by your side anymore, you must be strong on your own.”
“The ancients said that when Heaven is about to confer a great responsibility on a man, it first exercises his mind with suffering, subjects his sinews and bones to hard work, exposes his body to hunger, and subjects him to extreme poverty. My son has suffered so much; surely, you are destined for great things.”
“You must not belittle yourself, and you must never disregard your own life!”
I nodded, suppressing my grief as I made a promise to my father. “I’ll live well from now on. No matter what happens, I won’t treat my life lightly again. Otherwise, I’d be failing you after all the years you spent searching for me.”
“Go now. Go in peace. I will take good care of myself.”
“Good.” A look of relief washed over my father’s face. “You are much stronger than I imagined. I haven’t accomplished much in my life, but I am an educated man nonetheless. I’ll leave you with this: go forth and be wounded gloriously, then heal yourself bravely.”
“I’ll stop here. I’m very happy; I have no more regrets.”
With that, he waved at me, turned around, and walked away.
I watched his retreating figure and forced myself to stop crying. I didn’t want him to hear me; I wanted him to leave with a peaceful heart.
“The living are but passing travelers, and the dead are those returning home. Heaven and earth are a fleeting inn, where we all share the eternal sorrow of dust.”
Seventh Master grabbed a handful of Yellow Paper and tossed it into the Fire Basin along with the Funerary Script. He shouted, “Li Yanzhou, safe travels! Do not look back! Head to the City God Temple, cross the Yellow Springs Road, descend into the Underworld, and reach the Bridge of Helplessness! Debts of the past life are cleared in this one; in the next life, be a happy man once more!”
I knelt on the ground and kowtowed three times toward the direction he had gone.
Today, I had come to resolve his obsession, yet it was he who had given me the hope to live on.
*Go forth and be wounded gloriously, then heal yourself bravely…*
Those two sentences shook me to my core.
No matter what the future held, I had to live well.
Seventh Master walked over to me, lit a cigarette, and stuffed it into my mouth.
I remembered that he didn’t usually smoke.
“Your dad said it: never belittle yourself.”
“Whether you are Chen Mo or Li Fuguang, you are innocent. As Chen Mo, your father and grandfather didn’t hesitate to commit a grave mistake just to save you. They were wrong, but it shows how much you meant to them.”
“As Li Fuguang, your father endured so much suffering just to find you. It’s clear that you, his son, were more important to him than his own life.”
“So, don’t look down on yourself, and don’t treat your life as cheap. Even if they are gone, there are still many people in this world who care about you. Song Xiaotian has no relation to you, yet he dared to charge into a dragon’s den alone and take on a hundred men by himself. Even I’m not as badass as he is.”
“Young man, the future is bright, understand?”
I stood up and nodded. “I understand, Seventh Master. Existing between heaven and earth, one should emulate the strength and integrity of the heavens above, and the kindness and tolerance of the earth below. I know what I must do moving forward.”
Seventh Master laughed. “Ho! The little master learns fast. Not a bad bit of enlightenment.”
“Come on, help me wash the dishes and clean up a bit. While we’re at it, I’ll teach you about the Yin and Yang, the Five Elements, and the Pre-heaven and Post-heaven Bagua.”
With that, Seventh Master pulled me back into the house.