Chapter 48
Chapter 48
Zhang Qiong: “Where am I supposed to find so many people I like to choose from every day? We aren’t on a high school or college campus!”
Qin Song: “Just tell me the truth. Is that Liang He on your WeChat a man? Are you breaking up with me because you like him!”
It was one thing to leave Liang He out of it, but hearing those two words made Zhang Qiong a little angry.
“This has nothing to do with Liang He or anyone else. I just can’t keep doing this with you anymore. I want to break up. Is that not allowed?”
Qin Song’s voice rose: “But why? Can’t you give me a reason? Everyone has a reason for breaking up! Arguments, cold wars, drifting apart… those are all reasons! Are you really at the point where you won’t even explain the reason to me anymore!”
Zhang Qiong: “You’re in your thirties. Don’t act like a child, okay?”
Tears began to stream down Qin Song’s face. He was surprised because he hadn’t cried in many years.
Zhang Qiong: “Why have you gone quiet? Are you okay?”
Qin Song choked out, “You don’t have feelings for me anymore, do you? It doesn’t matter how well I treat you now, does it? You’re not even willing to humor me anymore.”
Zhang Qiong sighed. “Qin Song, I told you something before; I don’t know if you remember. I said you’re a person who values emotions deeply, and that’s a virtue. But you can’t have everything; you can’t have the best of both worlds. Our relationship was an ill-fated mistake from the start. Since it was a mistake, a day that begins must eventually have a day that ends. Now that this day has come, you have to accept it, and so do I.”
Qin Song: “Are you sad?”
Zhang Qiong thought for a moment and replied, “The way I’ve felt these past few days can’t be described by the word ‘sad’ alone.”
Qin Song: “Then what do you want me to do? What should I do now? How can I convince you?”
Zhang Qiong: “I’ve already made up my mind. I don’t need you to do anything, and you certainly don’t need to try and convince me. Just live your own life well.”
Qin Song closed his eyes in despair. “But we got along so well. You never once lost your temper with me. No matter how much I pestered you, you never got annoyed. You accepted everything about me. How am I supposed to leave you now…”
Zhang Qiong offered a brief closing remark: “Pull yourself together. Time heals all wounds.”
She hung up the phone.
Qin Song called back, but she didn’t answer.
He called again. Zhang Qiong’s heart softened, and she picked up.
Qin Song wept pathetically on the other end: “Jiejie… will you still talk to me in the future?”
Zhang Qiong: “We will still be boss and subordinate, and we’ll still be ordinary friends.”
Qin Song: “So you won’t ignore me forever, right?”
Zhang Qiong: “Right. If you need anything and I can help, I will. I’ll also show up to work on time. We just don’t have that kind of relationship anymore; it doesn’t mean I’ve vanished from the earth.”
Qin Song sobbed, “That’s good, Jiejie…”
After hanging up, Zhang Qiong felt a wave of sadness.
A relationship of this length – even if it was immoral and shouldn’t have happened – had involved her sincere feelings. It was impossible not to feel sad at a time like this.
It was just that she truly couldn’t continue with Qin Song anymore. Huang Yuanrui was like Qin Song’s shadow; as long as she was involved with him, that shadow would always be trailing behind her.
Not mentioning Huang Yuanrui to Qin Song was Zhang Qiong’s final act of kindness toward this relationship. She didn’t want to cause him any more trouble; she simply wanted him to go back to the life he had before. If Qin Song knew that all of this was because of Huang Yuanrui, there was no telling what kind of turmoil his life would descend into.
Qin Song had completely broken down. He had never suffered such a heavy blow in his romantic life.
Many years ago, when his ‘first love’ rejected him, he had been unwilling to let go, but it hadn’t been heart-wrenching. After all, he had only been pursuing that girl.
‘Pursuit’ itself contained two possible outcomes – success or failure. Therefore, when he failed, the level of pain was only fifty percent.
Later, when he got married, He Qian’s feelings were just like her personality: unchanging.
In Qin Song’s eyes, it wasn’t that she disliked him, but she didn’t exactly love him passionately either; it was just enough affection for a blind date marriage. If one day she told Qin Song she was leaving – oh wait, that wasn’t even a possibility. Forget leaving; even throwing a tantrum or making a scene was something that basically never happened in their marriage.
Qin Song felt they were more like partners in life – you earn your money, I take care of the family, but you have to come home for dinner at night.
Qin Song thought of Huang Yuanrui – if she ever said ‘let’s break up’ to him, he would definitely put on a show of crying his eyes out as he saw her off at the airport, then the moment he stepped out, he’d call to order ten strings of firecrackers to hang on a tree and set them off with a bang.
His feelings for Huang Yuanrui were like a dried-up orange – the peel looked intact, but once cut open, there wasn’t a drop of juice left inside. She was an extremely unstable person at her core; no matter how much she pretended to be gentle, virtuous, lively, or cheerful, Qin Song knew her true self all too well.
What was still keeping that peel intact? A bit of old sentiment mixed with a soft heart. Just as Zhang Qiong said, he did have a streak of indecisiveness in him.
Oh, Zhang Qiong. Qin Song thought of her again.
He suddenly felt a twitch in his chest. He bent over in pain, gritting his teeth against the discomfort.
Qin Song thought of a quote he had read: when a person is in excessive sorrow, the area around the heart experiences actual physical pain. This is what people commonly refer to as ‘heartache.’