Chapter 3

Chapter 3

After graduating with his master’s degree, Qin Song returned to City A. He had no desire to find a job, claiming that working for someone else wouldn’t make him rich and that he wanted to start his own business. Instead, he spent every day lounging at home, a lifestyle that lasted for two whole years.

His parents couldn’t win an argument against him, so they eventually decided he should settle down before focusing on his career. They began making intensive arrangements to set Qin Song up on blind dates.

In truth, it wasn’t that Qin Song didn’t want to work; he just didn’t have the heart for it. He was in a terrible state of mind.

Despite his overbearing and tough personality, he was actually a hopeless romantic at heart.

He had been in love with a girl for four years. Although he hadn’t spent a single day actually dating her, he had always considered her his first love. Every time he mentioned her to Hu Heng, he would refer to her as “my first love.”

This girl was fair-skinned and delicate, with slender eyes that curved into crescents when she smiled. She wasn’t tall and was particularly thin. She never grew her hair long, keeping it just at shoulder length. Qin Song was hopelessly in love with her aura; she was like a tiny lilac, appearing pure and ethereal from a distance, and smelling just as sweet up close. Even her name was refreshing and elegant: Ding Wan.

Over those four years, Qin Song had confessed to Ding Wan a total of seventeen times, and the reason for his rejection was different every time.

At first, it was: “Senior, I’ve just started my freshman year. I want to focus on adjusting to the new environment. There are so many club activities at school; I don’t have the headspace for a relationship.”

Later, it was: “Final exams are coming up. My roommate is constantly competing with me, both openly and behind my back. I can’t lose to her; I don’t have time to date.”

After that, the excuses included but were not limited to:

“I’ve been busy practicing street dance lately.”

“A classmate asked me to work part-time as an hourly worker at the East Gate Restaurant. I’m too tired every day.”

“I haven’t decided if I want to be in a relationship yet. Dating is a complicated matter for me.”

“You’re a great person, but I…”

…

Once, her excuse was even: “My mom won’t let me have a boyfriend who smokes.”

Qin Song was stunned. He had only just learned how to smoke, thinking it made him look cool.

Qin Song hadn’t originally been a smoker, but his roommate, Wang Pangzi, was. Wang Pangzi came from a wealthy family and was very generous, always smoking Chunghwa cigarettes. Every time he lit up, he would ask Qin Song if he wanted one. Qin Song shook his head every time, but Wang Pangzi ignored his refusal and insisted on leaving one on his desk.

Qin Song didn’t know how to smoke and didn’t want to throw away such high-quality cigarettes, so he would carefully pick them up and store them in an Extra Xylitol gum container.

As time passed, Qin Song accumulated a full jar of cigarettes.

The day the container could no longer fit any more, Qin Song finally tried to light one.

Under Wang Pangzi’s professional guidance, Qin Song finished the first cigarette of his life, leaving him so lightheaded that he lay in bed for half the afternoon.

Eventually, through persistent practice, Qin Song became adept at puffing away. He even went to the East Gate Supermarket to buy a proper ashtray.

Wang Pangzi laughed so hard he was wheezing, saying, “You can just use a half-empty bottle of water for that. Why’d you go and buy such a tacky thing?”

Qin Song’s final confession took place on the day of his graduation photos.

Ding Wan told him she had a boyfriend and that they had been together for a while. They were planning to get engaged right after graduation.

Qin Song’s heart felt like a wooden door being kicked repeatedly until it finally split in half with a loud crack.

During those four years, Qin Song had bought her milk tea, delivered meals, brought her hot water bags, and run errands to top up her water and meal cards. He had rallied votes for her during competitions-the list of things he did from her freshman to her senior year was endless. Qin Song’s family background was ordinary, and his monthly allowance was only a few hundred yuan. He couldn’t afford to buy her expensive gifts or take her out for fancy meals, so he could only pursue her by doing whatever was within his means.

Qin Song thought to himself, *My life is too bitter.*

Yet, every time she rejected his confession, she would give him a small glimmer of warm hope. For instance, she would take the initiative to invite him to dinner, the movies, or to study at the library.

Qin Song believed that as long as he persisted in being her best male friend and her best senior, the day would eventually come when she would choose him to be her boyfriend.
He had been willing to try confessing his feelings over and over again because she would always offer a bit of sweetness after the bitterness.

But now, it was over. Sweet or bitter, it was all gone. There was no longer a place for him in her life.

Qin Song felt that as long as it wasn’t her, it didn’t matter who he ended up with.

Yet when he actually started going on blind dates, he became picky. He didn’t like women who were too heavy, or those with dark skin; he didn’t like them too assertive, too smart, or too vain…

After much picking and choosing, he eventually met a girl who worked at a hospital. She looked a bit like Lin Wanyu from the show iPartment, though she wasn’t nearly as beautiful. Everything else was fine, but she was too thin. In the summer, her T-shirts looked as oversized as bathrobes on her. In the winter, when she wore tight sweaters, she looked like a paper cutout from the side.

None of that really mattered, though.

This girl’s name was He Qian. Like his later second wife, Li Juan, she didn’t care for buying clothes, wearing makeup, or putting on jewelry. She was ordinary-the kind of person you’d have to look for a long time to find in a crowd.

However, while some women were said to bring their husbands misfortune, others brought prosperity. He Qian was the latter.

After Qin Song and He Qian got married, they started a small building materials business. Once they saved some money, they bought a Buick, and his parents dipped into their savings to help them with the down payment on a small apartment.

Qin Song was both smart and hardworking, with a stubborn streak that refused to accept defeat. His business grew larger and larger. Gradually, he opened his own construction company and became his own boss. Later, he expanded into other fields. Step by step, the Buick was replaced by a Mercedes-Benz, and the small apartment was traded for a large villa. He even moved his parents in to live with them.

Once Qin Song opened his company, he had He Qian quit her job at the hospital. She didn’t earn much anyway, and he saw no reason for her to endure exhaustion and grievances every day.

The chauvinism typical of Northern men made him want to keep his wife tucked away safely at home while he provided for the family. She could just cook, clean, and keep his parents company. If she found it too tiring, they could hire nannies and cleaners; he certainly had the money for it.

Later, Hu Heng also returned to City A. Hu Heng’s mother had been in poor health, and he wanted to be by her side to care for her.

As soon as Qin Song heard that Hu Heng was back, he immediately invited him to join his company and work alongside him. Hu Heng didn’t hesitate to join his brother’s side.

With his parents, wife, and brother all nearby and his business thriving, Qin Song felt his life was complete. And yet, it felt like something was missing.

What was it? Qin Song propped his feet up on his desk, lit a cigarette, and pondered as he smoked.

He thought of his “first love” again.

Years had passed, and thinking of that woman no longer stirred much emotion in his heart. He figured she probably had kids by now; maybe she had fine lines around her eyes, or perhaps her figure had filled out. She might not even have the charm she once possessed.

It wasn’t her that he missed.

So, what was missing?

Qin Song recalled the years he had spent chasing her like a dog. There was a sense of glory in that defeat.

Whenever he thought of those years, the corners of his mouth couldn’t help but turn up. That feeling of liking someone-even if it was unrequited-was incredibly thrilling to look back on.

Yes, that was what was missing: that feeling.

Qin Song hadn’t felt that kind of thrill from a woman in a long time.

He had never liked a dull life; it was so ordinary it was sickening. Qin Song was a man of great physical and mental energy, and people like him always craved something fresh.

Perhaps the reason he had spent those four years chasing her wasn’t because she was so wonderful, but because he truly enjoyed the thrill of the chase.

His cigarette burned out, but Qin Song’s thoughts grew more excited. He immediately lit another one.