Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Ever since Qin Song and Zhang Qiong got together, he had been so immersed in their romantic bliss that three weeks had slipped by without him visiting Huang Yuanrui.

Huang Yuanrui was feeling an unprecedented sense of anxiety.

She had never worried about Qin Song falling for someone else because the love he had shown her over the past two years was so certain; she simply assumed he was busy.

But even if it was just work, the mere fact that they couldn’t see each other made it feel unbearable.

There were no longer three or four men revolving around her world. Now, she only had Qin Song, and she only wanted Qin Song.

Emotional validation was only sweet enough when it came from the person you loved.

Huang Yuanrui had an anxious temperament and couldn’t sit idle for long.

She was the type of person who had to make something out of whatever she was doing, even if it was just for fun.

When she was a child playing in the sand with other kids, while everyone else was running around or scribbling aimlessly with little shovels, Huang Yuanrui would silently plan to make a cake in the sand.

She would pile up a ring of sand, pack it tight, round it out, then build a smaller ring on top and stick in a few twigs. A birthday cake with candles was complete.

In the end, all the other children would leave, but Huang Yuanrui would still be squatting on the ground working on her cake. If the cake wasn’t finished, she wouldn’t go home for dinner.

Her mother would brag to friends that she had perseverance and was bound to be a good student in the future.

After starting school, Huang Yuanrui often had conflicts with her female classmates. She was jealous of those prettier than her and looked down on those from poor families. Moreover, she held deep grudges; if anyone crossed her, regardless of whether she retaliated, she would harbor resentment in her heart for a long time.

If someone had offended her over a decade ago, her teeth would still itch with hatred when she thought of them today.

She often cursed those former enemies in her mind, wishing they would die sooner.

Later, she gradually realized that it wasn’t perseverance-it was obsession.

Obsession was innate; anxiety was hereditary.

Her mother was also prone to anxiety and couldn’t stand seeing anyone idle at home.

Huang Yuanrui and her father almost never had a moment of peace. If their butts touched the sofa for more than five minutes, her mother would start circling them like she was facing a great enemy, urging them to read a book or go crush some garlic.

Despite all the nagging, the family’s life didn’t exactly flourish through all that anxiety and busyness.

Her mother still sold stationery at the department store, her father was still a repairman, and Huang Yuanrui’s grades remained poor.

The offspring of a tiger is still a tiger, even if it sleeps all day. The offspring of an ox is still an ox, even if it plows the fields every day.

She didn’t understand the point of this anxiety, but she had been influenced by it unconsciously, eventually becoming someone who couldn’t sit still.

Excessive obsession and anxiety were a sickness; she should have seen a therapist.

But she wouldn’t go. At the very least, she was still happy every day. She thought people who felt the need to see a therapist at the drop of a hat were the ones who were truly sick.

She couldn’t stand having only one boyfriend or only one best friend. She needed many boyfriends and many friends to keep her emotional world stuffed full.

Qin Song’s absence had caused her long-buried anxiety to flare up again.

That day, she washed the matching ashtray she had bought for Qin Song, placed it on the table, and lit a cigarette.

Smoking helped soothe her anxiety, and she needed that right now.

After pacing around the room after her smoke, she started to put on makeup.

She couldn’t get her eyeliner right; the pencil kept skipping playfully.

She looked down at her hand and realized her fingers were shaking uncontrollably.

This damned anxiety had manifested from her mind into her body!

Huang Yuanrui suddenly grew irritable. She used her left hand to forcefully pinch her shaking right hand and slammed the eyeliner pencil onto the floor with a sharp crack.

***

“Hubby, what are you doing?”

Qin Song’s voice came through the phone. “Ruirui, I’m working. What’s wrong?”

Huang Yuanrui held the phone and slumped onto the bed, two tears rolling down from her eyes. “I miss you so much. Why haven’t you come over yet?”

Qin Song said, “Don’t cry, don’t cry, Ruirui. Let me count how long it’s been since we saw each other… Oh, two or three weeks. I’ve been so busy lately I forgot. Let me think… I’ll come see you this weekend, okay?”

Huang Yuanrui said with a sob, “Hubby, I’m in such a bad mood. I always feel so lonely.”

Qin Song asked, “What’s the matter? Did something happen?”

Huang Yuanrui pursed her lips and looked at the floor, breaking into a full sob. “Hubby, nothing happened. It’s just me. I feel like I’m not doing well. I get so anxious when I can’t see you. I wasn’t like this before. What’s wrong with me?”

Qin Song replied, “Ruirui, don’t worry. It’s not your fault. I’ve been too busy and didn’t visit you in time. I’ll make it up to you when we meet, okay?”

Huang Yuanrui nodded vigorously through her tears. She had completely stopped putting up a front with Qin Song.

Now, every word she said to him and every bit of emotion she showed was her true self.

Being able to gradually calm down through his gentle words when she was anxious made her feel that Qin Song was truly dear to her.

“Ruirui, are you still crying? Say something so I can hear if you’ve turned into a little crying pig.”

Huang Yuanrui burst into a laugh, a snot bubble popping at her nose.

She suddenly said, “Hubby, I want to be with you.”

“Silly girl, we’ve been together for so long already.”

Huang Yuanrui whispered, “I really want to marry you.”

Qin Song froze.

“Okay, okay, marry me. Stop crying now.”

Huang Yuanrui knew he was just comforting her. He was joking.

But she wasn’t joking.

Without realizing it, she truly wanted to marry Qin Song.

She had thought about it seriously. Qin Song and He Qian had no feelings for each other and no children; divorce wasn’t impossible for him.

Besides, He Qian couldn’t have children, but she was healthy. She could definitely give Qin Song a child.

If she married him, she wouldn’t have to be his kept woman in 302 every time. She could live with him openly and see him every single day.