Chapter 136
Chapter 136
Before Elder Monk Kongchan could finish, Chen Daji kept rolling the “collectible” beads around his neck and began hollering.
“All right, all right. Forget the mess at your temple for now.”
“Maybe the two monks who went in later hit it off with the Ghost Buddha. The three of them might’ve kowtowed and become sworn brothers!”
“In a few days, they’ll all come out together, grab some skewers from a roadside stall, then hit a karaoke bar for a couple of songs. Problem solved.”
“The urgent problem is the coffin shop in Liujia Village. People are already fucking dead!”
The old monk naturally understood that some matters were more urgent than others, so he asked what had happened in Liujia Village.
Deaf Granny sighed and murmured to herself.
“A ghost dead far from home, a corpse bearer-eight blood coffins bound for Xiliang.”
“Paint eyes on paper effigies, and lives end at the Yellow Springs…”
“This will not be easy.”
Chen Daji looked utterly lost.
“Grandma, I understand every word you’re saying.”
“But when you put them together, I don’t understand a thing…”
Deaf Granny smiled and shook her head, then slowly began her explanation.
“The phrase ‘ghost dead far from home’ means someone who died in a foreign land.”
“Legend has it that during the Tang dynasty, there was a madman named Huang Chao. Eight of the generals under his command were known as the Eight Valiant Generals.”
“They once led troops as far as our region.”
Hua Jiunan could not help interrupting.
“Grandma, do you mean Huang Chao, leader of the rebellion at the end of the Tang dynasty and founding emperor of the Great Qi state?”
Deaf Granny smiled and looked fondly at Hua Jiunan.
“Grandma never went to school, so I don’t know all that.”
“But if my precious grandson says so, he can’t be wrong.”
Chen Daji was clearly even more confused.
“Big Brother, can you explain it more clearly?”
“How come I’ve never heard of a Great Qi state during the Tang dynasty?”
“Was this Huang Chao really fierce?”
Hua Jiunan paced slowly and recited in a quiet voice.
“When autumn comes, on the eighth day of the ninth month, my blossom shall bloom and all others die.”
Hu Fei’er smiled and continued.
“Its sky-soaring fragrance shall flood Chang’an; the whole city shall don golden armor.”
All Chen Daji got from the verse was a headache.
“Never mind! I don’t want to know who Huang Chao was anymore!”
“Grandma, keep going. What does Huang Chao have to do with Liujia Village?”
Deaf Granny reached out and gently patted Chen Daji.
Afraid the old woman could not reach comfortably, he even bent over and offered her his head.
“The Eight Valiant Generals were extremely fierce at first. They drove the Tang imperial army into defeat after defeat.”
“Then General Cheng Zongchu arrived. In less than half a month, he crushed them completely.”
At this point, Deaf Granny accepted the hot tea Hu Fei’er offered and took a small sip.
“In ancient times, rebellion was a grave crime that implicated all nine branches of one’s clan!”
“After General Cheng Zongchu captured the Eight Valiant Generals alive, they were immediately torn apart by five horses!”
Chen Daji nodded repeatedly.
“Keep going, Grandma. Being torn apart by five horses makes sense to me.”
Deaf Granny gave him an approving smile.
“After the Eight Valiant Generals died, our region became troubled.”
“During the first few years, villagers traveling at night often encountered their souls.”
“They begged anyone they met to gather and bury their remains, then return them to their homeland in Xiliang.”
“After all, the people of our divine land believe that fallen leaves should return to their roots and the dead should rest beneath the earth.”
The old woman looked toward the pine tree in the courtyard and sighed.
“But they were rebels. The authorities had ordered their corpses exposed in the wilderness. Who would dare help them?”
“Anyone who did would lose their head!”
“So they caused more and more trouble, becoming fiercer every year.”
“Only after dozens of people had died did a passing monk suppress them.”
“I thought they would have settled down after all this time.”
“Who could have known they would come out to harm people again?”
After listening to Deaf Granny’s account, Chen Daji finally understood everything.
He looked at Elder Monk Kongchan with contempt and cursed.
“Sure enough, no hair on the head means no reliability in the work!”
“Not only can you baldies not keep the thing inside your own temple suppressed, you can’t even control the wandering ghosts causing trouble outside!”
“What good are freeloaders like you?”
“You’re not half as reliable as our Eighth Master!”
Unexpected praise clearly delighted Eighth Master Chang.
He immediately spat out the noodles in his mouth and assumed a smug pose.
“Naturally!”
“Eighth Master doesn’t have hair on his head either, but that’s a natural disaster. Nothing can be done about it.”
Under Chen Daji and Eighth Master Chang’s combined contempt, Elder Monk Kongchan somehow began to feel as if every problem truly was the fault of Buddhist monks.
“Namo Amitabha.”
“Since this matter arose because of Buddhism, this humble monk is willing to accompany the Bodhisattva Lady to Liujia Village, suppress the evil beings, and rid the people of this scourge.”
The contempt in Chen Daji’s eyes deepened. He was one step away from spitting on the ground.
“Give it a rest, old monk!”
“You couldn’t even settle Fatty Zhao’s problem. You came all this way, babbling at my grandma and begging her to save you.”
“Don’t get mixed up in the coffin shop too.”
“If you go, won’t my grandma have to catch ghosts with one hand and save you with the other?”