Chapter 75

Chapter 75

Ji Hanyi’s lips were soft.

Soft as water.

So soft they seemed as though they would melt at the slightest taste.

Even though Shen Si knew Ji Hanyi had no idea what she was doing, he had long since lost the ability to restrain himself. He deepened the kiss.

His body was drawn taut as a bowstring. The hand braced against Ji Hanyi’s back tightened uncontrollably, pulling the soft, yielding body in his arms flush against him.

Even though this was not the first time he had kissed her.

Now that he had tasted the sweetness of her mouth, Shen Si felt a sheen of hot sweat break out across his entire body. The rapture that seeped into his very bones nearly stripped away his reason. All the restraint he had once prided himself on had already crumbled to dust.

Every shred of rational thought had vanished from his mind. Everything he wanted to do to her surged through his thoughts in a frenzy.

The hand gripping her waist was so tense that veins stood out along its back. He only wanted to kiss her deeper, wanted her body pressed ever tighter against his.

He wanted nothing more than to be entwined with her all night long.

At last, he understood that soul-stealing, bone-melting ecstasy — something only she could give him.

He watched her eyes flutter half-open in a dazed haze, as though she were uncomfortable. Her delicate brows curved like distant hills, and her damp lashes trembled. Her fragrance was rich and intoxicating. Tears rolled from the corners of her eyes like pearls from a broken string, disappearing into the thick hair at her temples. Her flushed, vivid beauty was utterly bewitching.

Unable to control himself, Shen Si brushed his thumb across the corner of her eye. Beneath his fingertip, her skin was soft and damp as silk. Several muffled groans escaped him as his breathing grew ragged, until she finally let out a distressed little moan and lifted the hand resting at his waist to push against his chest.

Her pained whimper brought his reason rushing back in an instant. Shen Si abruptly drew away and looked down at Ji Hanyi’s rosy lips, now slightly swollen from his ravaging kiss.

His fingertips moved to touch them without thinking, earning a soft, hoarse murmur of pain from her, almost as though she were pouting.

Shen Si’s hand froze. Though sweat beaded across his forehead from the effort of holding himself back, he did not touch her again. He merely lowered his head and gathered her guiltily into his arms to soothe her. Resting his chin against her slender shoulder, he gradually composed his passion-clouded expression until his usual cold, noble aloofness returned. Then he closed his eyes and gently stroked her slender back.

When Ji Hanyi began to come to, everything around her was veiled in mist. The light was dim, and there seemed to be a figure before her.

She blinked hard. As her vision gradually cleared, she found Shen Si sitting beside her, looking down at her.

He was dressed in crimson official robes. This was the first time Ji Hanyi had ever seen him dressed this way, and perhaps it was the robes that made him appear even more imposing and distant.

Even the gaze he directed at her seemed indifferent.

Ji Hanyi’s mind was completely blank. She only remembered dreaming of her childhood, when her father had taken her into town and coaxed her to sleep. She had never expected to wake up lying beside Shen Si.

She even forgot what she ought to say. Tilting her head back, she stared blankly through damp eyes as Shen Si slowly leaned closer.

She could even feel his steady breath, but his face remained expressionless and his eyes were pitch-black. There was an unapproachable distance and innate nobility to his refined features, leaving Ji Hanyi too intimidated even to move away.

She would rather believe Shen Si was merely trying to find something on her face than allow her thoughts to stray elsewhere.

Her mind spun chaotically. He must have his reasons for doing this. If she moved, he might be displeased.

His breath and scent were both startlingly distinct. Unable to withstand the pressure of his presence, Ji Hanyi felt her heart begin to pound in panic and shifted her gaze slightly aside.

Shen Si silently watched her turn her head. His eyes fell upon the rosy lips he had kissed, and his fingers clenched. Without betraying a thing, he lowered his gaze and concealed every shadowed emotion in his eyes.

His body was still clamoring without pause. Once he had tasted her soul-stealing softness, it was as though he had taken arsenic. There would never be an antidote.

The woman beneath him clearly had no idea what he most wanted to do to her at this moment, nor did she know what he had just done. She trusted him so completely that she had not even tried to avoid him.

Those clear, innocent, tear-brimmed eyes made Shen Si feel as though he were standing at the edge of a ten-thousand-foot abyss. The moment he gave in to his feelings and desire for her, he would plunge into the depths of depravity. Then he would have no choice but to keep her locked firmly at his side for the rest of his life and make her sink with him.

In the end, reason prevailed. He might be able to cast everything else aside, but she clearly could not.

Shen Si did not want to force her. Even if they were to be together, they should be able to stand openly before the world, and it should be because she was willing.

He knew she had always trusted him. All the more reason he did not want her to fear him.

His long fingers moved. Shen Si placed a handkerchief in Ji Hanyi’s hand and said in a low voice, “Your collar is wet.”

With that, he rose and sat across from her.

Only when the oppressive shadow before her receded did Ji Hanyi belatedly look down. A patch of her collar really was wet.

Then she noticed the small bowl set beside her. It carried a faint medicinal smell and appeared to have contained a hangover remedy. Ji Hanyi immediately understood more or less what must have happened.

Mortified and ashamed, she clutched the handkerchief Shen Si had given her. It carried the same cool fragrance as him. She stole a cautious glance at him, then propped herself up and said quietly, “Thank you, Lord Shen.”

She had no idea how she had ended up in Shen Si’s carriage. She could only hope she had not caused him any more trouble.

Ji Hanyi pressed the handkerchief to her collar, but her cheeks heated despite herself. For some reason, Shen Si always seemed to see her at her most embarrassing, filling her with shame.

Her head was still muddled, and it ached a little. She could no longer remember anything that had happened after she went to the pavilion. Even now, every thought in her mind seemed painfully slow.
Only then did another thought belatedly occur to her: Why did she seem to keep running into Shen Si these days?

She had only left the Xie Residence a handful of times in total, yet she had encountered him on every one of her recent outings.

At the thought, Ji Hanyi could not help stealing a glance at Shen Si, wondering if he also found it far too coincidental.

But when she looked over, she found him already watching her. Her fingers tightened, and she hurriedly lowered her gaze.

Shen Si calmly met Ji Hanyi’s eyes. The confusion had yet to fade from them, but she was now sitting with perfect propriety, clutching the handkerchief he had given her. Those tear-bright eyes no longer gazed at him as they had moments before.

He spoke first, his voice as cool as ever. “Why did you go there?”

Ji Hanyi froze. After thinking for a while, she finally understood what he meant and lowered her head. “Because Father often took me there when I was little…”

She bit her lip without thinking, only to feel a twinge of pain and quickly release it.

Shen Si watched her sit there so properly as she answered, almost as though she were afraid of him. After a brief pause, he asked, his tone considerably gentler than before, “Why were you crying?”

Ji Hanyi fell silent.

She did not want to tell Shen Si about the mess her life had become. All that hurt and frustration was hers alone. She could not trouble him again.

Shaking her head, Ji Hanyi said softly, “I missed Father.”

Shen Si waited for a long while, only to receive that answer.

Still not a single honest word.

He wondered whether what she had said last time — about divorcing Xie Yuheng — had been true either.

His lips tightened faintly as he lowered his gaze to her.

When he saw the moisture shimmering in Ji Hanyi’s eyes, he let out a long breath and asked, “Why did you drink?”

His question made Ji Hanyi feel as though she had done something wrong. She faltered, “I just suddenly remembered…”

But Shen Si continued to watch her in silence. There seemed to be a trace of scrutiny in his stern expression, and he clearly did not believe her. She grew nervous again.

Shen Si remained reclining in his seat, his bearing as noble as ever. Tall and dressed in official robes, he possessed both flawless good looks and an aloof refinement. Even the quiet lowering of his gaze carried the oppressive authority of a man accustomed to commanding others.

He raised an eyebrow slightly. “And that made you drink something as potent as Meishan Wine?”

Ji Hanyi was struck speechless. Hadn’t she asked Rongchun to buy plum wine…?

Then she suddenly remembered that Rongchun could not read. She had most likely picked up the wrong wine.

Her muddled thoughts finally began to clear. Ji Hanyi looked cautiously at Shen Si and asked, “Was I… drunk?”

Shen Si nodded, then pointed at the bowl on the small table beside him. “I fed you sobering tea.”

Ji Hanyi’s face instantly burned. No wonder she had ended up in Shen Si’s carriage. She must have gotten drunk, and he had happened to come across her.

Unfortunately, she could remember nothing. She had no idea whether she had behaved improperly in front of him while intoxicated.

She had surely ceased to be a dignified lady in Shen Si’s eyes long ago, and he was such a strict, proper man.

Now that he had seen her drunk, what would he think of her? He would surely find her disgracefully improper.

She lowered her head in shame, not even daring to ask what she had done while drunk. All she wanted was to leave at once.

She rose, intending to bid him a hasty farewell. She feared she would never be able to face Shen Si again.

But the moment she stood, a hand appeared before her, holding a bowl of sweet rice dumplings.

Shen Si glanced at Ji Hanyi. “You drank wine. Eating something will help.”

Ji Hanyi was at a loss for words. Her fingertips trembled, and she hurriedly thanked him. With no other choice, she accepted the bowl and sat down opposite him again in a fluster.

The sweet rice dumplings were still hot. Ji Hanyi had no idea where Shen Si had gotten them, but steam billowed from the bowl, soon filling the carriage with their rich, sugary aroma.

After taking a few bites, Ji Hanyi could not resist stealing another look at Shen Si. A man as favored by heaven as he was, whose every word and action adhered to exacting standards — could he possibly enjoy sweet rice dumplings too?

Or had he prepared them especially for her?

She remembered what she had once heard at the Shen Residence about Shen Si’s daily meals. He was exceedingly particular about his food, with exacting standards that made him extremely difficult to serve.

Then something suddenly occurred to her. “Where is my maid?”

Rongchun had drunk some of that wine with her.

Shen Si answered succinctly, “Outside. She’s already awake.”

Ji Hanyi breathed a sigh of relief.

But before she could finish the sweet rice dumplings, she grew anxious to leave.

Her grandmother was still waiting for her. She could not delay any longer.

Shen Si studied Ji Hanyi’s face for a long moment before finally allowing her to go.

Once Ji Hanyi left, the carriage fell silent again.

Sitting alone inside, Shen Si listened to Ji Hanyi speaking with Rongchun beyond the curtain. Only after their voices faded and silence settled outside did he lift a corner of the side curtain and watch Ji Hanyi’s retreating figure.

He watched her walk farther and farther away until she boarded another carriage. Only then did he slowly let the curtain fall. Yet the restless heat within him had not diminished in the slightest with her departure. Lowering his gaze, he looked at the green earring Ji Hanyi had left behind in his palm.

The unfinished bowl of sweet rice dumplings still sat on the small table. Shen Si picked it up and took a bite with the spoon she had used. Cloying sweetness spread across his tongue, almost too rich for his taste. He had never liked such things before, yet he ate another one.