Chapter 4
Chapter 4
At that thought, she paused.
So Xie Yuheng truly no longer mattered to her. Even faced with his interrogation, she felt no pain.
The Xie Yuheng she remembered as gentle and refined as jade, the man who had promised that her family’s decline would not change his intention to propose, the honorable gentleman praised by everyone around him, had lost the last trace of warmth she had once held for him.
She was lost in thought for only a moment before she heard Xie Yuheng’s low voice again. “Hanyi, you should learn from Mingrou and compose yourself.”
“Instead of shutting yourself away in the inner quarters and spending every day consumed by petty jealousy.”
With that, he turned and walked out once more.
Ji Hanyi quietly watched him leave, then calmly lowered her gaze, picked up her book, and resumed reading.
In the three years since she married into the Xie Family, she had kept his inner household in perfect order and seen to his every need, sparing him from ever having to concern himself with domestic matters. Even when her mother-in-law occasionally criticized or mistreated her, she had never complained to him.
She had done everything she could as his wife, only to be accused of petty jealousy.
So be it. His heart had always favored someone else.
Standing beside her, Rongchun said softly, “Young Madam, misunderstandings have stood between you and Eldest Master for years. Shall I call him back so you can explain yourself?”
“The Young Cousin is forever driving a wedge between you. If this continues, won’t the two of you only grow farther apart?”
Ji Hanyi covered her mouth and coughed twice. Her gaze remained on the book as she shook her head. “There is no need.”
She had explained herself before, more times than she could count, but he had never believed her. What remained between them was like a feast scattered by wind and snow. Even if she explained everything now, the table had already been left in ruins and could never be restored to what it had been.
Whether he believed her no longer mattered.
She also understood her own heart at last. If that night in the snow had chilled her heart completely toward Xie Yuheng, the flash of revulsion she had just felt brought her fully awake. Even the affection born of their bond as husband and wife had vanished.
When she rose the following morning, Xie Yuheng was already dressing.
Ji Hanyi glanced at him, then went to the washstand on the other side of the room to freshen up.
This was a familiar scene between them. Xie Yuheng rarely slept in her room. His official duties kept him busy, and he treated every case and file with scrupulous care, attending to even the smallest detail.
Sometimes Ji Hanyi did not see him at all when he returned. Only while they prepared for the day in the morning would their paths briefly cross.
The sole difference today was that Ji Hanyi did not go to him as usual to help him dress, perfume his robes, or hand him a warm towel.
Xie Yuheng was soon ready. He had to brave the wind and snow to attend morning court and always left before she did.
Today, however, he reached the curtain and then looked back at Ji Hanyi, who sat before the bronze mirror while a maid combed her hair.
Daylight came late in winter. Bright candles illuminated the room, their flames casting shifting shadows over Ji Hanyi.
She sat perfectly straight, her black hair cascading down her back. Her delicate features possessed the gentle beauty associated with the women of Jiangnan. A pair of jade earrings swayed beside her face, brushing the shoulders of her smoky-purple robe and scattering flecks of light.
In the wavering candlelight, her petite, graceful figure looked as soft and ethereal as rain mist beneath a blue-gray sky.
When he first met her, he had thought she was a sensible woman who understood propriety.
The room still carried the scent of medicine. Xie Yuheng suddenly said, “I heard the snow was so heavy that the carriage could not reach you in time and you were stranded in it all night.”
Ji Hanyi looked at him in surprise. She was about to answer when another cough escaped her.
She covered her lips and coughed several times before looking at Xie Yuheng again. Her voice was slightly hoarse, but her expression remained unchanged. “It’s nothing serious. I only had to wait a little longer.”
Xie Yuheng listened to her obviously suppressed coughs, then looked at the handkerchief her slender, pale fingers held to her lips. A lifelike pink begonia had been embroidered upon it.
He watched her in silence as an inexplicable emotion welled up inside him.
In the past, Ji Hanyi had always taken issue with such things.
Whenever Li Mingrou was involved, she would quibble over every last detail.
This time, however, she was unusually quiet. So quiet that she had not even brought it up.
Xie Yuheng pursed his lips and lowered his voice. “I failed to consider everything properly this time. I’ll have the steward send you a bolt of Shu Brocade later.”
Ji Hanyi paused at the mention of Shu Brocade.
So Xie Yuheng still remembered that incident.
In the second year after she married into the Xie Residence, Xie Yuheng solved a long-standing cold case. The Emperor rewarded him, and among the gifts were two bolts of Shu Brocade.
The entire residence had been filled with celebration on the day the rewards arrived. Sitting among everyone else, she had been happy for Xie Yuheng too.
That day, in front of everyone, Xie Yuheng gave one bolt of Shu Brocade to his mother.
Just when everyone assumed the other bolt would go to her, Xie Yuheng gave it to Li Mingrou instead.
He offered no explanation. He did not even glance at her.
Ji Hanyi had asked him why.
But Xie Yuheng merely regarded her with mild impatience, as if she were making an unreasonable fuss. Unwilling to offer even a perfunctory explanation, he went straight to his study.
Ji Hanyi parted her lips. She had actually wanted to tell him there was no need.
She had never truly cared about that bolt of brocade.
What she cared about was why her husband had never once cared about her feelings.
After that incident, even the servants of the Xie Residence had looked at her with contempt.
They understood more clearly than ever that she did not have Xie Yuheng’s favor.
She had done nothing wrong, but everyone knew which way the wind was blowing.
He was the Principal Heir of the Xie Family. Everyone else took their cues from his every action and preference.
Before Ji Hanyi could say that there was no need, Xie Yuheng had already lifted the curtain and left.
In his eyes, this was an enormous favor and compensation.
Ji Hanyi watched the curtain sway in his wake and sighed. Turning back to the bronze mirror, she chose a simple jade hairpin and slid it into her hair.
The bolt of Shu Brocade was delivered promptly later that morning.
When the steward brought it over, he offered a few flattering words with a smile. “The Eldest Master gave special instructions before leaving this morning. You’re the only one receiving such a gift, Young Madam.”
In truth, everyone who ought to have received one already had. She was merely the last.
But being the last still made her the only one, in a sense.
Ji Hanyi did not spare it a glance. She had long since stopped caring about the Shu Brocade. She simply told Rongchun to accept it and store it in the storeroom.
After all, she would not take it with her after the divorce, much less use it.
She rested in her courtyard for two or three days. Her cold improved, and she only coughed for a short while at night.
Xie Yuheng did not return during those two days. She heard that he had a difficult case on his hands and had been spending his entire days at the government offices.
Ji Hanyi would not even have known if one of the older maidservants from her mother-in-law’s quarters had not come to tell her that she did not need to wait up for him these two nights.
She was Xie Yuheng’s wife, yet when it came to anything concerning him, she was always the last to know.
Whenever he left the capital on official business, there was never a letter for her among those he sent home.