Chapter 45

Chapter 45

Ji Hanyi found Xie Yuheng’s insincere words unbearable.

She had always maintained a veneer of harmony and civility with him, but that did not mean she had no temper at all.

In truth, Ji Hanyi wanted to ask Xie Yuheng whether being his wife meant she had to submit to his every whim.

To let him abandon her in the snow.

To let him lavish all his favor on someone else.

Was this what it meant to be his wife?

But after taking a deep breath, she still left those words unspoken.

Because saying them would be an expression of resentment, complaint, and bitterness over the past.

It would mean venting at Xie Yuheng all the grievances she had suppressed for so long.

It would mean she still expected something from him.

But there had long since been no expectations left between them.

Ji Hanyi made no attempt to hide her unwillingness. She lowered her head and rested her forehead against one hand, unwilling to let her gaze linger on Xie Yuheng. Rubbing her brow with slender fingers, she said, “Eldest Master, I’m truly tired.”

Her sigh was laden with exhaustion.

All the words surging up Xie Yuheng’s throat abruptly died there.

Never before had Xie Yuheng felt so helpless and powerless in front of Ji Hanyi.

The feeling engulfed him, making him feel as though he had become utterly contemptible in her eyes.

She was thoroughly sick of him.

Yes, he had actually begun to think that Ji Hanyi was sick of him.

Once upon a time, her candlelit silhouette had always waited for him by the window, and her soft, gentle concern had filled his ears.

If Li Mingrou had not been watching from beside them, Xie Yuheng felt he might have turned into a restless, powerless lion at that moment, desperate to let out a roar.

Li Mingrou had heard their entire conversation. She had also seen the faintly ingratiating look now appearing on Xie Yuheng’s usually aloof face.

She stared blankly. It was not only the Ji Hanyi who dared refuse Brother Xie who seemed unfamiliar to her. The man before her, the Brother Xie who had taken the best care of her since childhood, seemed unfamiliar as well.

She even thought she must have imagined that hint of ingratiation Brother Xie had shown Ji Hanyi.

Brother Xie had clearly never liked Ji Hanyi. Everyone in the Xie Residence knew that.

This was wrong. Something had to be wrong.

Unable to stop herself, she said softly, “Brother Xie, since Cousin-in-law is tired, you should let her go back first.”

“Didn’t Brother Xie say last time that you would take me to have my favorite plum blossom cakes? Take me to eat them today.”

As Li Mingrou spoke, she reached out and tugged at Xie Yuheng’s sleeve. Her voice was soft and delicate, carrying the coquettish note she habitually used with him.

Yet almost the instant he felt the tug on his sleeve, Xie Yuheng looked at Ji Hanyi’s face.

He did not even know what he hoped to see. But if there had been even the slightest trace of her old pain and unspoken protest on her face, he would have immediately pushed Li Mingrou’s hand away.

Yet there was nothing on Ji Hanyi’s face. Her eyes were lowered, without even the faintest ripple of emotion. She remained unmoved, as though this had nothing to do with her.

An inexplicable thought surfaced in his mind. As a chill swept through his heart, he turned to Li Mingrou as if compelled by some unseen force and said, “There’ll be a monkey show at the temple fair today. Would you like to see it?”

At Xie Yuheng’s words, Li Mingrou’s unease instantly gave way to delight.

She knew it. In Brother Xie’s heart, she would always be the most important one.

Anticipation immediately lit up her face, only to fade just as quickly. “Then what about Cousin-in-law?”

Xie Yuheng looked at Ji Hanyi. Before he could invite her to join them, Ji Hanyi had already raised her head and said, “You don’t need to concern yourselves with me. Just let me out by the street, and I’ll hire another carriage.”

Ji Hanyi spoke calmly, but Xie Yuheng’s expression abruptly changed.

He stared intently at Ji Hanyi, his voice nearly forced through clenched teeth. “You’re blaming me again.”

“Last time, Mingrou’s situation was urgent. That was why I left you by the roadside. I didn’t do it deliberately.”

Ji Hanyi paused in surprise. She had not expected Xie Yuheng to still remember something that had happened so long ago.

It had been during the first winter after she married into the Xie Family. They had also just left a banquet that day when Li Mingrou suddenly came down with chills. Anxious to take Li Mingrou to a clinic, Xie Yuheng had left Ji Hanyi alone by the roadside.

The journey back to the Xie Residence had not been far that day. Yet as she sat in the carriage she had hired, it had felt like the longest journey of her life.

So long that she had felt her entire life was utterly meaningless.

She had assumed Xie Yuheng would have forgotten the incident long ago. His care and favoritism toward Li Mingrou ran bone-deep, an instinctive reaction that required no thought. Yet he actually still remembered what he had done. Perhaps some small part of him did feel guilty toward her.

But now that he had brought it up, there was clearly no guilt in his words. Just as he had in the past, he was accusing her of not being understanding enough.

Even after taking the medicine, which had neutralized some of the poison, a faint ache still lingered throughout her body. She did not want to waste her energy arguing with Xie Yuheng over something so meaningless, so she merely said, “You don’t need to remember that. I forgot it long ago.”
As she spoke, she looked at Xie Yuheng. “Going to watch the monkey show with Mingrou is important. It won’t be difficult for me to hire another carriage by the roadside. I don’t blame you.”

Xie Yuheng’s ramrod-straight posture abruptly sagged. He stared fixedly at Ji Hanyi, studying every expression on her face, then suddenly gave a bitter laugh.

“I’ll take you back first, then go out with Mingrou.”

Ji Hanyi glanced at Xie Yuheng in surprise. Xie Yuheng’s decision genuinely surprised her.

To Xie Yuheng, nothing had ever mattered more than Li Mingrou.

In truth, Ji Hanyi had wanted to get out by the roadside. She still had a few things to take care of.

But since Xie Yuheng had said as much, she could no longer be bothered to argue with him. She merely nodded. Whatever decision he made, it no longer mattered to her.

Silence fell inside the carriage, broken only by the rumble of the wheels.

Li Mingrou glanced at Ji Hanyi, then turned to Xie Yuheng with a guilty look. “Is Cousin-in-law angry?”

“Why don’t you take me another time, Brother Xie? It doesn’t matter whether I see it or not.”

Xie Yuheng kept watching Ji Hanyi from the corner of his eye. Ji Hanyi had propped her chin on one hand beside the window, her gaze fixed on the curtain as the wind lifted it from time to time. Her body leaned slightly against the carriage wall, and she did not glance their way even once.

Though they sat side by side, the woman who used to lean toward him at every opportunity now felt like such a stranger that Xie Yuheng almost wondered if Ji Hanyi had become someone else entirely.

He even began to feel dazed. He had clearly never liked Ji Hanyi relying on him too much, yet now that Ji Hanyi seemed to be doing exactly as he wished, his heart felt strangely hollow.

He drew his gaze away from Ji Hanyi’s face and looked at Li Mingrou. Her tender, affectionate eyes were filled with no one but him.

He had intended to tell Li Mingrou they could go another day. But when he saw Li Mingrou’s delicate face, he could not bring himself to disappoint her.

Mingrou had known only loneliness and hardship from a young age and had always regarded him as the person closest to her. He had been the one to make the promise just now. Refusing her so soon afterward would undoubtedly hurt her.

Whatever problems there were now between Xie Yuheng and Ji Hanyi, he should not drag Li Mingrou into them.

When the carriage arrived at the Xie Residence, Xie Yuheng climbed down first and reached up to help Ji Hanyi alight. Ji Hanyi took a step back, letting Li Mingrou go first.

Li Mingrou gave a faint, cold laugh at Ji Hanyi’s behavior.

It seemed Ji Hanyi intended to keep playing hard to get until the bitter end.

Still, she had finally seen Ji Hanyi clearly. She had never expected Ji Hanyi to truly hold even the smallest place in Brother Xie’s heart.

What a shame about today. Otherwise, she truly would have liked to see Ji Hanyi end up despised by everyone.

She stepped out first and naturally placed her hand in Brother Xie’s long, slender one.

Ji Hanyi climbed down from the other side of the carriage using the footstool.

Ji Hanyi had indeed done so deliberately, for no other reason than that she did not want to touch Xie Yuheng again.

Xie Yuheng had been about to help Ji Hanyi down, but when he saw Ji Hanyi alighting from the other side, his hand froze in midair.

He remained where he was, watching Ji Hanyi walk around from the opposite side.

Ji Hanyi approached and spoke softly, her voice full of polite detachment. “It’s still early. Eldest Master and Mingrou should leave soon.”

“I’ll go inside first.”

After saying that, Ji Hanyi felt she had done more than enough to keep up appearances. But just as Ji Hanyi turned to leave, Xie Yuheng seized her wrist.

Ji Hanyi frowned slightly and looked back, meeting Xie Yuheng’s intense gaze.

Grabbing Ji Hanyi’s hand had been almost instinctive for Xie Yuheng.

He only wanted to see if the expression on Ji Hanyi’s face was truly as calm and indifferent as she made it appear.

Hadn’t she always been the one to say that Mingrou was still unmarried and that it was improper for the two of them to go out alone?

Hadn’t she also once said that she was his wife, and the person he should keep by his side was her?

Xie Yuheng could barely remember those words anymore. Ji Hanyi seemed to have said them during the first year of their marriage.

There had been affection between them then. But later, as Ji Hanyi began targeting Mingrou more and more, he had gradually developed a trace of irritation toward Ji Hanyi.

Yet now, seeing Ji Hanyi act so understanding and considerate sent a dull ache through his heart.

Ji Hanyi’s puzzled voice sounded beside his ear. “Eldest Master, is something wrong?”

Xie Yuheng pulled himself from his thoughts. Looking at Ji Hanyi’s soft, beautiful features, just as they had always been, he thought that things should not be like this between them.

They were the ones who were husband and wife.

Xie Yuheng looked at Ji Hanyi, his voice strained as he asked, “Do you want me to stay and keep you company?”