Chapter 40
Chapter 40
Meanwhile, Ji Hanyi followed the other members of the Xie Family inside to pay her respects. Many people were waiting to do the same. Everyone wanted a chance to make an impression on Her Majesty the Empress and Madam Shen, and the two were surrounded by noblewomen.
Ji Hanyi kept her head lowered as she walked behind the ladies of the Xie Family. She was inconspicuous enough that no one paid her any attention.
Ji Hanyi had met Her Majesty the Empress before and knew her to be gentle by nature. Old Madam Shen was similarly kind. Yet many years had passed, and though the surroundings remained familiar, the people and circumstances had changed. Ji Hanyi did not want anyone to think she was deliberately trying to ingratiate herself with them.
As she withdrew with the Xie Family, she glanced up and saw Gu Wanyun standing deferentially before Her Majesty the Empress. Ji Hanyi’s second maternal aunt-in-law was speaking to Her Majesty the Empress with a broad smile and had not noticed Ji Hanyi at all.
At the sight, Ji Hanyi could not help wondering if Her Majesty the Empress truly had taken a liking to Gu Wanyun.
So many noble young ladies had come today, yet Her Majesty the Empress had specifically kept Gu Wanyun by her side to talk. The implications were unmistakable.
If that was indeed the case, Ji Hanyi was happy for Gu Wanyun.
After leaving the room, Ji Hanyi went to the covered corridor alone. Her former bosom friends had all but stopped associating with her after the Ji Family’s downfall. Later, after marrying Xie Yuheng, she had attended several banquets with her mother-in-law, but most of the people she met were no more than nodding acquaintances. She had formed no close friendships.
Nor did she want to sit and chat with the other members of the Xie Family. No matter what the conversation began with, it always turned to how she ought to win Xie Yuheng’s favor. Every one of them would put on a concerned expression while offering her advice, only to ridicule her behind her back and treat her troubles as entertainment.
She had understood long ago. Their lives in the inner household were tedious and dull, so they used her as a diversion and as reassurance that their own lives were not so bad after all. How many of them truly wished for her and Xie Yuheng to live happily together?
Ji Hanyi had no desire to humor them. She was far more at ease on her own.
She had only just sat down when a richly dressed, dignified matron approached her. The woman sat beside her with a warm smile and called, “Hanyi.”
Ji Hanyi paused in surprise, then recognized her as the Third Madam of Duke Dingguo’s Residence. Since Old Madam Xie had come from Duke Dingguo’s Residence, the two families maintained relatively close ties, and Ji Hanyi had met her before.
Ji Hanyi quickly rose and curtsied.
Third Madam Wei smiled, took Ji Hanyi by the hand, and drew her back down beside her. Then she asked, “Why aren’t you talking with the others?”
Ji Hanyi replied, “I wanted a little peace and quiet.”
Third Madam Wei smiled and summoned her daughter-in-law, Lady Fang. She then said to Ji Hanyi, “You and my daughter-in-law have similar temperaments. She also prefers peace and quiet, so the two of you should have plenty to talk about.”
With that, she stood and had Lady Fang take her place beside Ji Hanyi. “You two have a chat.”
Then she left.
Ji Hanyi was not particularly familiar with Lady Fang, though they had spoken a few times before. She was still wondering how to begin when Lady Fang warmly took her hand and said, “I’ve always wanted to befriend you, sister. Today, I finally have the chance.”
She looked at Ji Hanyi and continued, “The truth is, I’ve always envied you.”
Puzzled, Ji Hanyi asked, “What is there about me to envy?”
Lady Fang replied, “I envy the peace and quiet in your inner courtyard. My Third Master took another concubine not long ago, and now there is constant infighting in the household. It gives me no end of headaches.”
Ji Hanyi could not help saying, “There are things you have that I may not. Why envy me?”
Lady Fang smiled. “You’re right. There are also things you have that I may not. No one can have everything.”
Those words were rather similar to what Old Madam Xie had said, and Ji Hanyi immediately understood. Old Madam Xie was taking advantage of this banquet to have a married-in woman of Ji Hanyi’s generation from Old Madam Xie’s natal family counsel her.
Lady Fang kept hold of her and spoke at length, then led her around to meet several of her close friends. Every one of them spoke of the troubles in her own household.
Some had husbands who rarely came home and spent every day carousing in pleasure houses. Others had husbands who stayed home but had no ambition. Some couples appeared united but were estranged at heart, while others had once been deeply in love only to grow distant later.
Some had even sworn vows of eternal devotion, only to forget their old loves after a few short years.
An old love could never compare to a new one. Men were masters at tiring of the old and craving the new. Everyone had something they were forced to endure.
Ji Hanyi understood them perfectly, and she knew their words were sincere. Mutual affection and wholehearted devotion were no more substantial than flowers in a mirror or the moon reflected on water, beautiful illusions that could never be grasped. Only tangible wealth, status, and respectability could be held firmly in one’s hands.
Lady Fang linked arms with her again. “When you look at it that way, sister, you’re the most enviable of us all.”
“Eldest Master Xie may often be busy with official duties, but his inner courtyard is free of trouble. He takes no concubines, and he has a promising future ahead of him. How could we not envy you?”
Ji Hanyi gave a bitter smile but said nothing.
Yes, she had to admit that life could never be complete or perfect in every way. The things she dwelled on, the hurts she suffered, and her disappointments were like the temperature of the water to a fish — something only the fish itself could truly know.
Others would not understand even if she told them. But she did not need anyone else to understand her. It was enough that she understood herself.
As they were speaking, Li Mingrou appeared from nowhere and suddenly came up beside Ji Hanyi. She reached out and linked arms with her, her smile sweet. “Cousin-in-law, why aren’t you chatting with us?”
“They’re playing plum blossom riddles up ahead. The Fourth Young Lady and Fifth Young Lady both want to take a look. Would you like to come with us?”
Ji Hanyi turned to look at Li Mingrou. At previous banquets, Li Mingrou had always chatted animatedly with the young ladies of the Xie Family. She rarely approached Ji Hanyi of her own accord.
Ji Hanyi pushed her hand away with a faint smile. “Go on and enjoy yourselves. I’ll come find you later.”
Li Mingrou’s expression froze for a moment after being pushed away, but she quickly smiled again. “Then don’t wander too far, Cousin-in-law. We can head back together later.”
With that, she took two steps back, then turned with a smile and walked toward Second Madam Xie.
Ji Hanyi watched Li Mingrou’s retreating figure and sensed that something was amiss.
When she looked over again, her gaze happened to meet Li Mingrou’s. A flash of guilt seemed to cross Li Mingrou’s face, and she hurriedly looked away.
Ji Hanyi’s gaze stilled. Lady Fang tugged at her and said something, but she did not catch it. Only after Lady Fang called her several times did she come back to herself.
Lady Fang said, “It looks lively up ahead. Shall we go take a look too?”
Ji Hanyi glanced over. Fragrant sachets had been tied to the plum branches, each containing a written riddle. Anyone who guessed correctly would receive a prize. The young ladies were busily searching the plum trees for sachets, their laughter ringing through the grove.
Ji Hanyi looked toward Li Mingrou again. Although Li Mingrou was walking away, she kept glancing back at her. Ji Hanyi drew her brows together in thought, then said to Lady Fang, “You ladies go on ahead. I just spotted Miss Gu. I’ll exchange a few words with her and join you afterward.”
Hearing this, Lady Fang did not try to persuade her and left with the others.
Once they were gone, Ji Hanyi headed in the opposite direction, toward the rockery and bamboo grove. She told Rongchun to look back and watch Li Mingrou’s reaction, but cautioned her not to make it too obvious. She was to pretend she was watching the excitement in the plum grove.
Rongchun did not understand, but she asked no questions and did as instructed. A short while later, she turned back and whispered uncertainly to Ji Hanyi, “The young cousin seems to be following behind you, Young Madam.”
“But she’s keeping far back.”
Ji Hanyi pressed her lips together. Fine snowflakes drifted onto her face, and she lifted her head to look at the gloomy winter sky pressing down overhead. Taking Rongchun’s hand, she headed down another path.
Her childhood memories gave her a vague familiarity with the paths in the rear garden of the Shen Residence.
She only wanted to find out what Li Mingrou intended to do.
Yet no sooner had she pulled Rongchun behind a large ornamental rock than a burning pain began to spread through her body. It was so intense that sweat instantly beaded across her forehead.
She braced a fair palm against the rock’s rough, uneven surface, but even the jagged grit biting into her skin did nothing to ease the pain.
Rongchun immediately noticed that something was wrong and asked in alarm, “Madam, what’s wrong?”
Ji Hanyi gripped Rongchun’s hand tightly and motioned for her to remain silent.
A moment later, the footsteps that had been in the distance drew closer. They paused in front of the rock, continued forward for a short distance, then hurriedly doubled back.
Ji Hanyi glanced to the side. A glimpse of the person’s hem was enough for her to recognize Li Mingrou’s dress.
Her vision had already begun to blur, and even her awareness was fading. Her body felt so unbearably hot that only one thought remained in her mind — water.
There was no time left to wonder what Li Mingrou might have done. All Ji Hanyi wanted was water to soothe the pain and scorching heat. She tore herself free from Rongchun’s grasp and stumbled forward.
Rongchun was terrified. This place was secluded, with no one nearby, so she did not dare leave Ji Hanyi alone while she went for help. Yet she could not restrain or drag her back either. There were people everywhere beyond this quiet corner, and if anyone saw the Young Madam in her current state, it would inevitably spark ugly rumors. Rongchun was so anxious that she nearly burst into tears.
Just as she stood there at a loss, she suddenly caught sight of a tall figure in white farther down the secluded path. Graceful as a crane amid the snow, the figure looked like an immortal banished from heaven.
Then her Young Madam plunged straight into that immortal’s arms.
Rongchun’s mind went blank with a buzz. Cold sweat broke out across her entire body, and her knees nearly gave way beneath her.