Chapter 138
Chapter 138
Only after hearing the panic in his mother’s voice did Gu Yan look up and say quietly, “Mother, don’t worry. I didn’t bring out this dagger to hurt anyone else.”
Madam Zhang continued to stare at Gu Yan in shock. “Then what exactly are you planning to do?”
Gu Yan set the dagger’s sheath on the small side table. Then, ever so slowly, he pulled back his sleeve, exposing the skin of his wrist. He placed the blade against it, and in the blink of an eye, a line of blood welled up.
Madam Zhang went white with horror. She sprang from her chair and rushed to Gu Yan’s side, nearly falling to her knees before him. The dagger was still pressed to his wrist, as if it might slice through his veins at any moment.
Her hands trembled. She wanted to reach for him but did not dare. Choking back tears, she looked up at Gu Yan. “Young Master Yan, what are you trying to do?”
“What has gotten into you?”
Gu Yan looked at his mother kneeling before him, his gaze cold. His voice remained calm, as though the wound on his wrist caused him no pain at all.
“Why have you been treating Aunt and Cousin Yi this way?”
“Have you forgotten that Uncle once helped Father advance in his career? Or have you forgotten how I was able to enter the Imperial Academy?”
“You have mistreated them time and again. I no longer have the face to go on living. All I can do is join Uncle beneath the earth and beg his forgiveness, so that the retribution will not fall upon you in the future.”
Madam Zhang trembled as she stared at Gu Yan, tears filling her eyes. “You… How could you say such things?”
“Who do you think I’m doing all this for? Isn’t it so you’ll have the means to marry a wife one day, and so your sister will have a dowry?”
“You’ve seen what Hanyi’s life is like in the Xie Family. Without a dowry, look at how her husband’s family looks down on her. Do you want the same thing to happen to your sister someday?”
Gu Yan lowered his eyes and regarded his mother coldly. “And that justifies treating them so harshly?”
“What has Aunt done wrong? What has Cousin Yi done wrong? Despite how harshly you’ve treated them these past few years, have they ever once brought up the kindness they showed Father and me?”
“How much of the money for Aunt’s medicine have you actually paid over the years? Cousin Yi often helped cover the cost, but did she ever say a word about it?”
“I owe my future to Uncle.”
Gu Yan’s eyes filled with disappointment. “I’ve spoken to you about this in private many times before, yet you insist on doing as you please. I no longer have the face to continue living.”
The dagger sank deeper, inch by inch, and more blood poured from the wound. Madam Zhang was so terrified that she collapsed onto the floor. Sobbing, she shook her head again and again. “What are you doing? What are you doing?”
“You have such a bright future ahead of you! Are you really willing to throw away your life?”
Gu Yan’s face remained icy, with no sign that he intended to stop.
Madam Zhang could bear it no longer. She cried out, “I promise! I’ll agree to everything!”
Only then did Gu Yan’s hand stop. Bright red blood ran down his wrist and dripped, one drop after another, onto his black boots.
He looked at Madam Zhang. “Do you promise never to mistreat Cousin Yi or Aunt again?”
“Will you treat them well from now on?”
All Madam Zhang could see was the blood covering Gu Yan’s hand. Her mind had gone blank, and she was on the verge of fainting. She had no thought to spare for anything else. She nodded repeatedly through her tears, then shouted for the servants outside to fetch the doctor.
She looked back up at Gu Yan, choking out incoherently, “Stop now, please. I’ll listen to you. I’ll do whatever you say.”
“You’re still so young, with such a promising future ahead of you. If you died, have you not spared even a single thought for your mother?”
Gu Yan’s gaze remained cool and distant. He pressed his lips together. “I do not wish to have such a cruel and petty mother. But filial duty stands above all else, and I dare not condemn you. The only way I can make you understand how deeply you have disappointed me is through my death.”
Madam Zhang froze, her face deathly pale. This was the son she was proudest of, yet now he was looking at her with such coldness and loathing. Her heart turned to ice in an instant.
Her tears continued to fall. Then she looked at the wound on Gu Yan’s wrist, so deep and horrifying, and all other thoughts fled her mind. She knew Gu Yan was truly capable of going through with it.
She nodded frantically. “I won’t mistreat them anymore. Mother will do whatever you say.”
Gu Yan studied her expression and slowly let out a silent breath of relief. Then he looked her in the eye and said, “I want to marry Cousin Yi.”
Madam Zhang’s expression changed drastically. She cried out, “What nonsense are you talking about?”
Gu Yan cast Madam Zhang a cool glance. “I am not discussing this with you, Mother. I am merely informing you. In this world, Cousin Yi is the only woman I will ever marry.”
“If you insist on standing in our way, then I will go to the Underworld and pray for Cousin Yi from there.”
“Cousin Yi is more important to me than my own life.”
Madam Zhang was so horrified that she could no longer speak.
His words were so crushing that she wished she could die on the spot.
Her son would go to the Underworld, yet instead of praying for himself, he would pray for a divorced woman.
At that moment, all hope died within her. She suddenly sprang to her feet as if possessed, snatched the scissors from the needlework basket on the low table, and aimed them at her chest.
She stared at Gu Yan. “Are you trying to drive your own mother to her death too?”
Gu Yan looked calmly at Madam Zhang, not the slightest ripple of emotion crossing his face. His voice was terrifyingly composed. “Mother may do as she pleases. I cannot bear the weight of that sin, so at worst, I will go with you.”
As he spoke, Gu Yan drove the dagger another inch down his wrist. Blood gushed from the wound. The scissors slipped from Madam Zhang’s trembling hand and struck the floor with a clatter. She threw herself in front of Gu Yan and burst into tears. “I agree! I agree…”
“Take the dagger away! If you go any farther, you’ll die…”
Gu Yan’s forehead was already drenched in sweat from the pain, but his gaze remained fixed and chillingly calm. “If Mother ever goes back on her word, your son will die before Uncle’s grave to atone.”
Madam Zhang was on the verge of fainting. She could no longer think of anything else and could only nod.
Only then did Gu Yan let out a muffled groan. He tossed the dagger to the floor and clamped one hand over the wound.
The doctor had yet to arrive, and a pool of blood had already gathered at Gu Yan’s feet. The metallic stench of blood permeated the room.
Madam Zhang pressed her own sleeve against Gu Yan’s wound.
By then, almost all color had drained from Gu Yan’s face. He leaned his head back against the chair, yet still spoke. “Mother, not a word of what happened tonight may leave this room.”
“First, this concerns the rift between mother and son. If word gets out, it will damage both your reputation and mine.”
“Second, our bodies are gifts from our parents. What I have done is a grave act of unfilial rebellion, and it could jeopardize my official career.”
“Third, Grandmother and Aunt must not be alarmed, lest this lead to further trouble.”
Gu Yan laid out every consequence for Madam Zhang because he feared she might use this incident as an excuse to secretly make trouble for Ji Hanyi again. Now that he had made the stakes clear, and since his mother cared most about his official career, she likely would not dare mention it to anyone.
A chill swept through Madam Zhang as she listened, bringing her back to her senses.
She had originally planned to make a great fuss and summon all the maids to attend him, but cold sweat now soaked her back. If word of this got out, it would truly become a catastrophe. She hurriedly abandoned the idea of calling them in.
Even when the doctor arrived, Madam Zhang did not allow any maid to accompany him. She had the doctor enter alone.
Once the doctor came in, Madam Zhang casually fabricated an excuse, claiming Gu Yan had injured himself by accident.
After examining Gu Yan’s wound, the doctor said to Madam Zhang, “Had this wound been any deeper, there would have been no saving him.”
Another chill ran through Madam Zhang at those words.
She looked at Gu Yan, but there was not the slightest expression on his face. It was as though slashing his own wrist with a dagger had been nothing of consequence – as though he truly had resolved to die before her eyes.
Her knees suddenly buckled, and she caught herself against the small table beside her.
For the first time, she realized that the son she had always considered sensible and obedient was, at his core, cold and utterly heartless.
Medicine was applied to the wound on his wrist, and it was wrapped in layer after layer of bandages. After the doctor left, Gu Yan lowered his gaze to the bloodstains on the floor and said to his mother, “Those stains will never wash out. You should replace the rug.”
He continued, “Tomorrow afternoon, after I return from duty, I will go see Cousin Yi again. Cousin Yi is the only woman who can become my wife.”
“If Mother drives Cousin Yi away again, I will return the life you gave me.”
“To me, if Cousin Yi leaves, then there is no meaning in my continuing to live.”
After saying this, Gu Yan did not spare Madam Zhang another glance. He turned and walked straight out.
The moment Gu Yan turned away, all strength left Madam Zhang, and she collapsed onto the floor. She stared blankly at his cold, retreating figure for a long time before suddenly covering her mouth and breaking into sobs.