Chapter 119

Chapter 119

Ever since her grandmother told her that Cousin Yan wanted to marry her, Ji Hanyi had been avoiding Gu Yan, consciously or otherwise.

She had given him the inkstone to repay him for taking care of her mother and sending her nourishing supplements. It was a token of gratitude meant to clear the debt from her conscience, so naturally, she would no longer accept anything from Gu Yan now.

She hurriedly reached out and pushed the box back. Looking up at Gu Yan, she said, “Cousin, you have a promising future ahead of you. You should keep some valuables on hand to help smooth your path. I also understand the Gu Family’s current difficulties, so I cannot accept anything more from you.”

“You took such good care of my mother before, and I am deeply grateful for that. The inkstone was only a small token of my appreciation. Please take this back, Cousin, or I will only feel that I owe you even more.”

Gu Yan’s fingertips went still.

Though Ji Hanyi had expressed herself obliquely, Gu Yan understood what she meant.

She had given him the inkstone merely to repay his kindness.

Her distant tone made it clear that she wanted neither of them to owe the other anything.

Yet Gu Yan had never cared for his aunt in order to make Ji Hanyi feel indebted to him.

He loved Ji Hanyi. He had loved her since they were children, and even then, he had always wanted to protect her.

He loved her clear, bright eyes and her soft, delicate nature. He loved the vulnerability that had made her seek his protection whenever she encountered trouble as a child. To him, she was like the finest porcelain, infinitely precious yet terribly fragile, something to be cradled in his palms and cherished with the utmost care.

No one else in this world wanted to care for and protect her as much as he did. He wanted to shelter and pamper her beneath his wings forever, never letting her suffer the ravages of wind or hardship again.

But from childhood until now, she had never understood his feelings.

Gu Yan lowered his eyes to the box in his palm, the box she had not even opened for a single glance, and his fingers tightened slightly around it.

Then he gave another gentle smile and said softly, “All right.”

They stood at a fork in the path. One branch led to Huilan Courtyard, while the other led to West Courtyard. Ji Hanyi was about to bid Gu Yan farewell when he spoke again, his steady voice gentle yet tinged with sorrow.

“Cousin Yi, once you get there, will you write to me?”

Ji Hanyi paused and looked up at him. The reluctance in Gu Yan’s eyes was unmistakable, and faint traces of loneliness and carefully suppressed hurt showed on his mild, refined face.

Seeing him like this, Ji Hanyi suddenly felt a pang of guilt. Ever since learning that Gu Yan wished to marry her, she had deliberately made her tone more distant and courteous when speaking to him. Cousin Yan had clearly noticed.

But Cousin Yan had done nothing wrong. He had not looked down on her for being divorced and still wanted to take care of her. When they were children, he had always been the one who looked after her best.

Her guilt deepened, and the formal distance faded from her voice. Looking sincerely at Gu Yan, she said, “Do not worry, Cousin Yan. I will write.”

Ji Hanyi did not say that she would write specifically to Gu Yan. After all, it would not be entirely proper for her to send letters to him alone.

Gu Yan silently studied her expression. He understood everything but did not expose her meaning. He merely smiled, nodded, and watched as Ji Hanyi left ahead of him.

The moment she turned away, Ji Hanyi let out a breath of relief. She returned to her room, sat down at the low table by the heated bed, spread out a sheet of paper, and began writing a letter.

The letter was for Second Uncle. If all went smoothly, the journey to Wei County would take about a month. By the time she arrived, the weather would be warming with the arrival of spring.

Once she had finished, Ji Hanyi had someone send the letter out. When she turned her gaze back, she saw the painting scroll lying on the low table again.

She paused, picked up the scroll, and slowly unrolled it.

The light outside was no longer bright, and the carved wooden latticework on the window blocked some of what remained, casting a faint veil of shadow. As the scroll gradually unfurled, it seemed to reveal a secret long sealed away in the heart.

Ji Hanyi had seen a copy of this painting before, but when the original appeared before her eyes, the tide of emotion within her still surged.

She laid the unrolled painting on the small table and lowered her head, letting her gaze travel inch by inch over the mountains, rocks, and trees. Her slender, pale fingertips came to rest upon the distant peaks.

This was the original her father had longed for with all his heart, the regret he had lamented for so many years. After all this time, it had finally come into her possession.

Shen Si had given it to her.

Soft, tranquil shadows fell across the green jade paperweight and Plum-Snow Inkstone on the low table, then flowed like a slow, dark river onto the Eight Treasures cushion beside them.

A faint rustling came from outside the window, while the room remained quiet. Ji Hanyi silently gazed at the painting before her, a trace of unspoken thought settling over her lovely eyes and brows.

In the end, she had never properly said goodbye to Shen Si.

In truth, he was the person she most wanted to bid farewell to.

If not for him, she might still be trapped in that quagmire, struggling endlessly with the Xie Family.

She gazed at the painting for a long time. Only when Rongchun came in after finishing the packing and inventory and told Ji Hanyi that everything was ready did she carefully roll up the painting and ask Rongchun to store it securely in the stationery chest.

They were leaving tomorrow, so Ji Hanyi carefully counted her silver once more.

She needed to leave some with Shopkeeper Ming to cover the compensation. She could not simply depart and leave him alone to clean up the mess. Hiring escorts from an escort agency that afternoon to accompany them on the journey had also cost a considerable sum. Then there were the expenses along the way. Once they reached Wei County, the courtyard that had stood empty for so long would certainly need repairs and new furnishings, and she would also need to bring gifts for Second Uncle.

After adding up all those expenses, Ji Hanyi realized that the silver she had on hand would not be enough.
Over the years, Ji Hanyi had failed to save much money. Between her mother’s illness and the expenses incurred in dealing with the Gu Family and Xie Family, most of what she earned had been spent.

Once she went to Wei County, she could hardly sit idle and live off her savings. She planned to take over two storefronts there and continue in the trade she knew best, running a painting shop and mounting artwork. Hiring workers and fitting out the shops would require another considerable sum, and she needed to keep some money on hand for emergencies.

There was no telling when her shop in the capital would sell. She could not wait indefinitely for that money to come in.

After running the figures on her abacus, her heart sank.

She did not have much silver left.

She thought of the two relatively fine pieces of jewelry she had bought while living with the Ji Family and told Rongchun to pawn them as well.

In her present circumstances, Ji Hanyi could only concern herself with the immediate future.

Everything in Wei County would be unfamiliar, and she certainly could not rely on Second Uncle to support her. She also intended to open an art school and a library there.

Ji Hanyi reached beneath her pillow and took out the pair of earrings she had hidden inside the painting. Holding them up to the faint light from the window, she examined them closely. The vivid green jadeite was beautiful, and the stone looked wonderfully translucent against the light.

Shen Si had told her to throw them away. Doing so would certainly be a waste, but she did not understand what the earrings were supposed to mean, nor could she accept them.

Ji Hanyi carefully wrapped the earrings in a handkerchief. After giving Rongchun a few quiet instructions, she sent her out at once.

Yet just as Rongchun emerged from the pawnshop, she unexpectedly found Wen’an directly in her path.

If Wen’an was here, then surely Marquis Shen was…

Wen’an was also somewhat surprised to see Rongchun there.

After leaving the government offices, the marquis had made the rare decision to stop at a restaurant. Wen’an knew perfectly well that the marquis was not there because he had leisure to spare. He was troubled and had gone to the restaurant to drown his sorrows.

Alone in a private room, a man who ordinarily never drank had somehow finished half a pot of wine by himself.

Standing guard outside, Wen’an had watched the marquis’s lonely figure as he said nothing and endured everything in silence. The sight distressed him so much that he nearly charged into the Gu Residence and told Miss Ji everything the marquis kept in his heart, just so she would not leave in such a hurry.

Or perhaps he could have asked Miss Ji to come and see the marquis as he was now. Unless her heart was truly made of stone, surely seeing him in such a state would stir at least a little compassion in her.

Besides, the marquis was like the moon in the heavens, someone people throughout the capital competed to curry favor with wherever he went. He had always conducted himself impeccably, too. In the three years Wen’an had served as his personal attendant, Miss Ji was the only woman he had ever seen come within ten feet of him.

The marquis was still drinking alone in the private room. Worried that he might become drunk, Wen’an had gone downstairs to buy some sobering pills from the apothecary across the street, only to encounter Rongchun.

It was already dark, and they were due to leave first thing tomorrow morning. What was she doing out at this hour?

In fact, Wen’an had spotted her earlier and followed her out of caution. He had watched her enter the pawnshop and then come back out, so their meeting was not entirely accidental.

When Rongchun greeted him, he asked, “Where are you going? What are you doing out here?”

Rongchun felt it would be embarrassing to admit that she had come to pawn jewelry, so she casually replied, “I just went to the shop up ahead to buy some pastries.”

Wen’an raised an eyebrow. She had already claimed she was buying pastries before, and now she had run out to buy more after dark?

He asked, “And where is your mistress?”

If Miss Ji were here, that would be wonderful. If she went upstairs to see the marquis, perhaps her heart would soften.

Rongchun answered at once, “My mistress is still at the residence.”

Wen’an asked no further questions. Though deeply disappointed, he smiled and let her go on her way.

Rongchun, however, took something from inside her clothes and held it out to him. “My lady asked me to return this to the marquis. Since I’ve run into you here, please give it to him for me.”

Wen’an was easy enough to talk to, and since he could pass it on for her, she would not have to make a separate trip to the Shen Residence.

Wen’an looked curiously at the small box in her hand. Taking it, he asked, “What is it?”

Rongchun shook her head. “My lady said the marquis would know.”

Wen’an understood that it was not his place to pry. He nodded, but when Rongchun turned to leave, he could not stop himself from holding her back and asking, “Are you truly leaving tomorrow?”

Rongchun did not find it strange that Wen’an knew about their departure. “Everything is packed. We really are leaving tomorrow.”

Wen’an felt a bitter ache in his chest, yet he did not know what to say. All he knew was that sorrow had begun to well up inside him too.

He watched Rongchun turn and disappear into the crowd. Then he bought the sobering pills and returned to the restaurant.

Back at the private room on the top floor, Wen’an gently pushed open the door and tiptoed inside. The room remained utterly silent. Afraid that the marquis had drunk himself unconscious, Wen’an did not dare venture farther without permission. He called softly, “Marquis?”

No answer came from within.

Wen’an tried again in a low voice. “I just ran into that maid who serves Miss Ji.”

Sure enough, not long after he spoke, the marquis’s low, slightly hoarse voice came from inside.

“Come in.”

Wen’an acknowledged the order and hurried inside.

The private room was spacious. His master sat beside a low table, with nothing around him in disarray. Even the wine vessel and cup had been arranged meticulously on the tabletop, without so much as a single drop spilled.

If not for the smell of wine filling the room, who could have guessed that the marquis had come here to drink away his sorrows?

In all three years Wen’an had spent at the marquis’s side, this was the first time he had ever seen him drink alone.