Chapter 189
Chapter 189
Ji Hanyi was still reeling from the shock.
Was Baoshan Tower, such a vast establishment, really hers just like that?
Even if she did nothing at all, its income alone would allow her to live comfortably for the rest of her life. Her two little shops could not begin to compare.
It took her a long while to find her voice. “But something this valuable… are you truly giving it to me just like that, Lord Shen?”
“Lord Shen, you’ve already given me a residence as well.”
Shen Si watched the dazed astonishment on Ji Hanyi’s face. His noble, refined features looked cool and distant in the night breeze, yet somehow reassuring. “Since you’re helping me, I should at least put your mind at ease and make sure you have nothing to worry about.”
Her heart trembled at his words. She understood that even if she went to Wei County, the road ahead might not be smooth. Shen Si was giving her another way out.
Then she heard his deep voice again. “Besides, you will soon be my wife. You are entrusting your entire life to me. These are all things I should give you.”
It was already rather late by the time they headed back. Ji Hanyi sat in the carriage clutching the box, beginning to doze off.
She had not gone shopping in a long time, much less stayed out shopping this late.
Shen Si had also bought her so many things that the carriage behind them was nearly overflowing.
Amid the rumble of wheels and the clatter of hooves, exhaustion gradually overtook her.
Shen Si looked at Ji Hanyi, her eyes nearly closed even as she held the box tightly in her arms. Dressed in exquisite moon-white brocade, with delicate, picturesque features, she tilted her head slightly in drowsy languor. The earrings beside her cheeks swayed endlessly with the motion of the carriage, making his breath catch.
He moved closer, his inscrutable gaze settling on Ji Hanyi’s full red lips. His throat bobbed as he leaned over her.
Ji Hanyi had been drifting in a weary daze. It was only when the shadow before her deepened that she instinctively leaned away, but Shen Si pressed a hand against her back.
His movement startled Ji Hanyi into opening her eyes wide.
She met Shen Si’s dark, unfathomable gaze and tried to evade him, but his broad, warm chest soon loomed over her, forcing her farther and farther back until he had pinned her against the spacious cushioned seat.
She instinctively pressed her hands against his chest and blurted out in alarm, “Lord Shen…”
Shen Si lowered his head and silently studied the panic on Ji Hanyi’s face. At such an intimate moment, her eyes held nothing but fear and astonishment.
He stopped before he could kiss her, aware that he had failed to rein in his emotions and had been too hasty.
They were not yet married. If he frightened her away, he would have no choice but to resort to forceful means to bring her back, and that was naturally not what he wanted.
But he could hardly endure it. The woman he loved was right beside him, the woman he had yearned for through countless days and nights. All he wanted was one deep, lingering kiss from her. That alone would be enough to see him through another endless night.
At last, he understood the fatal allure women held for men – an allure that could become addictive and rob a man of all reason.
He finally understood why his colleagues said that nothing in this world could haunt a man’s dreams as thoroughly as a woman.
In truth, he had experienced it long ago. At fourteen, Ji Hanyi had already been sweet enough to tempt him. Now she was a hibiscus blooming beneath the dew, lush and alluring, stripping him of all reason until he wanted nothing more than to pluck her as soon as possible.
He pursed his lips and asked in a restrained, even voice, “You seem very afraid of me.”
Ji Hanyi froze. She was afraid of him – afraid of his stern air, afraid she would never be good enough in his eyes, and afraid she might make a mistake in front of him.
He was always so cold and barely spoke.
Ji Hanyi’s throat tightened. She did not know whether she should admit it…
Shen Si stroked her smooth cheek and said quietly, “A husband and wife shouldn’t be like this. Every time I come near you, you pull away.”
Ji Hanyi listened to Shen Si in a daze.
They would soon become husband and wife, but she knew perfectly well that their marriage would be different.
They would be husband and wife, but not a real married couple.
She also knew with absolute clarity that what she felt for Shen Si was not love. Perhaps deep down, she had long since stopped daring to love anyone at all.
Lost in thought, she heard Shen Si sigh softly. “Hanyi, you’ll get used to it in time.”
“And in time, we’ll have children. You can’t always be so distant with me.”
Ji Hanyi’s eyes widened.
Children…
She had never thought about that – or perhaps she had simply never had the chance to.
Shen Si studied the shock in Ji Hanyi’s eyes and arched a brow. His fingertips slipped into her loosened hair as he murmured, “How could a married couple not have children? What would His Majesty the Emperor think? What would everyone else think of our relationship?”
Still dazed, Ji Hanyi opened her mouth to object instinctively. “But we aren’t…”
Shen Si’s dark eyes remained fixed on her as he finished the thought for her. “A real married couple?”
Ji Hanyi nodded, her voice barely audible. “We’re not truly…”
Shen Si lowered his gaze, concealing all the darkness in his eyes. “But in everyone else’s eyes, we are husband and wife. We’re no different from any other married couple.”
“We must have children of our own as well.”
Ji Hanyi parted her lips and blurted out without thinking, “But there are plenty of women who could bear your children, Lord Shen.”
As far as Ji Hanyi was concerned, Shen Si only wanted to avoid a marriage arranged by His Majesty the Emperor. Even if he took other wives and concubines in the future, she would never think there was anything wrong with that.
She had prepared herself for it long ago.
She had even considered what she should do if one of Shen Si’s future concubines came from a more distinguished family than hers – how she should manage the household and do her best to fulfill her role.
And if Shen Si someday met a woman he truly loved, she had wondered what she ought to do then as well.
Shen Si’s expression stilled.
He straightened slightly and looked down into Ji Hanyi’s eyes with grave attention.
In the flickering candlelight, those beautiful eyes were clear and utterly guileless. These were her truest thoughts, what she had believed from the very beginning.
She even thought it perfectly natural for him to take concubines and keep other women by his side in the future.
Because she did not care.
She truly did not love him.
Shen Si pursed his lips. He carefully schooled his expression and drew a slow breath despite himself.
He helped Ji Hanyi sit up from the cushions, then closed his eyes and leaned back against the carriage wall. The hand resting on his knee clenched so tightly that veins stood out across its back.
The carriage interior was dim. As Ji Hanyi stared at Shen Si’s profile, the sudden cold and ruthless air around him made her freeze. She did not even dare breathe too loudly.
Shen Si was genuinely frightening at that moment.
He seemed to sense the frozen atmosphere inside the carriage. Opening his eyes to narrow slits, he glanced sideways at Ji Hanyi. When he saw her pale face and the fear in her eyes, he paused.
He pursed his lips, then softened his expression and said quietly, “Don’t be afraid. We’ll take it slowly. You’ll get used to it in time.”
As he spoke, Shen Si picked up the gilded hairpin that had fallen onto the cushions and slid it at an angle into Ji Hanyi’s hair. He then lowered his head and smoothed her rumpled collar before murmuring, “Until our wedding, stay in your courtyard. I’ll visit you often.”
Ji Hanyi stared blankly at Shen Si. His face had once again become noble and aloof, and his movements and instructions were as calm and unhurried as ever, making everything that had just happened seem like an illusion.
His gaze settled on her, carrying an authority that brooked no refusal. Before she knew it, she had nodded.