Chapter 58
Chapter 58
The question left Ji Hanyi momentarily speechless.
She truly was short of money.
She had never worried about money before. Only now did she understand that money allowed one to do many things. With money, one could live with confidence, and it could also help her mother recover from her illness.
It turned out nothing could be done without money.
Still, she shook her head, unwilling to reveal any more of her embarrassment in front of him. “I’m not particularly short of money.”
In truth, she was not in dire need. The money she had on hand was enough for now, and a letter had arrived from Jinling saying that the residence was being put in order. She would not need to purchase another home. If she lived frugally, ran a calligraphy and painting shop there, and sold some calligraphy and paintings, she should have enough to get by.
Shen Si studied Ji Hanyi’s expression. Her eyes were lowered, as though she did not dare look at him, and she stood with impeccable decorum.
She looked just as she had when she was a girl beginning to grow up. He remembered her standing obediently before him — so petite. Her hands would be folded neatly in front of her, and despite her youthful inexperience, she would try her best to appear mature.
The corner of one wide, lilac-colored sleeve rested on the desk. He could just make out her fair, delicate fingertips clutching the edge of her cuff.
Shen Si glanced at them, then raised his eyes to Ji Hanyi’s lowered face. It was still soft and delicate, as though untouched by worldly hardship, luminous as white jade, her eyes clear and limpid beneath her brows.
His fingertips tapped quietly against the desk. He asked, “Has the Xie Family dealt with the person who harmed you?”
Ji Hanyi hurriedly nodded. “They have.”
Then she curtsied gratefully to Shen Si. “It was all thanks to Lord Shen’s help last time. Otherwise, the matter probably wouldn’t have been resolved so quickly.”
After speaking, she looked at Shen Si a little nervously. “I simply don’t know how to repay you.”
Shen Si’s fingers stilled. His calm eyes lifted to Ji Hanyi. “How does Madam Xie intend to repay me?”
Ji Hanyi froze for a moment. Shen Si had done her a tremendous favor, so she held out the money pouch Mr. Zhang had just given her and presented it to him with both hands.
She said softly, “This is all I have on hand for now. I hope Lord Shen won’t think the gift too meager.”
Ji Hanyi genuinely felt that even this silver was nowhere near enough to repay Shen Si, but she had nothing more valuable on her.
She knew Shen Si had no need of money, but this small amount of silver was the only thing she could offer him now.
Shen Si silently gazed at the money pouch Ji Hanyi was holding out to him with both hands. He stared at it for a long while.
She was still so slow to understand. Even after all these years, she did not seem to have improved at all.
He suddenly wanted very much to know how someone with her temperament had lived in the Xie Family. Xie Yuheng clearly treated the female cousin at his side differently. How had Ji Hanyi endured all those grievances?
Had Xie Yuheng stood up for her? Had he truly been willing to punish that young cousin?
Or had Ji Hanyi continued to suffer, and was that why she wanted to divorce Xie Yuheng?
Shen Si slowly raised his gaze, inch by inch, until it settled on her constrained, nervous expression. Storm clouds seemed to gather in his smoky eyes, unfurling into a darkly alluring tableau.
After a long silence, he said, “I don’t need that.”
Her hand remained suspended in midair. Her fingers tightened around the money pouch before she finally withdrew it. At that moment, Ji Hanyi felt deeply humiliated.
The most valuable thing she could offer was still utterly insignificant in Shen Si’s eyes.
She knew Shen Si did not care about money. What could such a paltry sum possibly mean to him?
But she had nothing else to give.
He sat upright in the seat of honor while she stood before him. His oppressive, distant gaze scrutinized her in a way that made her panic, as though she had been stripped bare before him and left utterly exposed.
All at once, she wanted to flee.
Perhaps she simply wanted to run away in panic.
Her fingers trembled as she drew them back. She struggled to steady her emotions and make herself appear less mortified than she felt.
Lowering her head, she admitted guiltily, “I have nothing else I can give Lord Shen.”
Shen Si slowly met Ji Hanyi’s gaze. Her slender brows curved like crescent moons, and the sight of her lowering her eyes was like moonlight steeped in autumn splendor.
Muted light filtered through the window and fell over her fair, graceful figure. The dusty haze outlined the curves of her body, lingering around her slender waist.
The long desk between them was like an insurmountable wall. Suddenly, he no longer wished to remain so far apart from her.
He no longer wanted to trace every detail of her again and again in his dreams. Even he had come to despise himself for it.
He could have kept her forever outside his world, never allowing her to touch the shadowed realm within him. She was as pure and clear as morning dew, and she regarded him as a stern and dignified elder. If she ever learned of his desire to possess her, or of the intimate thoughts he harbored toward her, she would likely never dare approach him again.
But once she had stepped into his territory of her own accord, everything concerning her had surged toward him like a tide, seeping into every crack and crevice.
It had also made him realize that her husband was nothing more than a fickle, incompetent mediocrity.
How could such a man ever deserve her?
It only made Shen Si want to see her more.
It only made him want to possess her more.
And it was not as though she had nothing to give him.
The one thing he wanted was something only she could give.
Shen Si’s gaze slowly traveled down Ji Hanyi’s body, dark and inscrutable, with hidden currents stirring beneath the surface.
In a low voice, he said, “Madam Xie, pour me a cup of tea.”
“Consider It Your Token of Thanks”
Ji Hanyi froze. She had imagined countless possibilities, but never once had she expected Shen Si to make such a simple request.
Still, she breathed a sigh of relief.
Although she understood that Shen Si probably wasn’t asking for her gratitude, at least there was something she could do for him.
The Cuiyun Jade Teapot sat beside Shen Si’s hand. Ji Hanyi recognized the tea set. After all these years, he was still using it — and apparently brought it with him wherever he went.
That made sense. He had always been fastidious about cleanliness and would never use someone else’s tea set.
She couldn’t reach it from across the long table, so she shuffled over to Shen Si’s side. Picking up the teapot warming on the small stove, she poured him a cup of tea.
Her movements were meticulous. She took care not to stand too close to Shen Si, yet did not stray too far from him either.
Shen Si’s gaze swept over Ji Hanyi’s slender, pale fingers, then over her earnest face as she poured the tea. Suddenly, he asked, “How does your husband treat you?”
Ji Hanyi’s movements paused. She looked at Shen Si and found his dark eyes fixed on her. After a moment’s hesitation, she murmured, “He… He treats me well enough…”
As she spoke, she respectfully presented the filled teacup to Shen Si with both hands. He had done her an enormous favor, and she held both respect and gratitude toward him. She did not dare be careless in the slightest.
She knew Shen Si had been under no obligation to help her. That day, he could easily have pretended not to see her.
Yet he had helped her.
And she had no way to repay him.
Shen Si looked at the teacup Ji Hanyi offered him. Her head was slightly bowed, and the earrings beside her cheeks dangled with the movement. As her soft fragrance drifted closer, his throat bobbed subtly, yet a faint, mocking curve touched his lips.
After the way Xie Yuheng had treated her, she still thought he treated her well enough.
Shen Si lifted his eyes to her again. Seeing that she did not dare meet his gaze, his eyes turned fathomless. He had made this trip today for no reason other than to see her, yet he could not draw a single honest word from her lips.
Or perhaps she was telling the truth. Perhaps she truly believed she had a good life in the Xie Family.
What had he expected from a married woman?
He reached out and took the teacup from Ji Hanyi’s hands. His cool fingertips grazed her cuff, and his body went taut because of her once more. Shen Si looked away and said quietly, “I heard that you and your husband are planning to divorce.”
The moment his words fell, a scroll resting at the edge of the table suddenly tumbled to the floor. Flustered, Ji Hanyi hurriedly bent down to retrieve it, then carefully rolled it back up.
Shen Si watched her in silence. His calm, phoenix-shaped eyes passed over the swell of her chest and the curve of her waist, both made more pronounced as she bent over, before settling on her faintly panicked face.
A flush tinged her fair cheeks, and heat stirred within him.
Only after Ji Hanyi had rolled up the scroll and put it properly away did she turn back to him. Her voice was tentative and cautious. “Lord Shen… Why would you say that?”
Shen Si studied her expression with a scrutinizing gaze. Casually setting the teacup aside, he replied, “He’s been staying in the duty quarters these past few days. When he came to the Censorate today, he seemed completely distracted. I also heard someone mention it in passing.”
Ji Hanyi froze. Xie Yuheng indeed had not returned home once in recent days. Could word of their impending divorce have already spread outside the household?
Shen Si’s deep gaze remained fixed on her. “Madam Xie, you haven’t answered my question.”
Only then did Ji Hanyi’s unfocused gaze return to Shen Si.
She remained stunned for a moment. She knew that she and Xie Yuheng would divorce sooner or later, so there was no point in denying it.
Yet in front of Shen Si, she instinctively did not want to admit it.
She had looked up to him ever since she was a child. Even now, he remained like the moon suspended high in the sky, occupying a lofty position of immense power. Meanwhile, she was a woman whose marriage was in shambles, a woman facing divorce.
The distance between them had only grown greater, as vast as that between heaven and earth.
She could not even make her own husband love her.
Her fingers tightened around her cuff despite herself. Ji Hanyi gave a vague hum, then offered an ambiguous answer. “I… suppose so…”
Shen Si raised an eyebrow.
What did she mean by “suppose”?
Did she still intend to cling to that mediocre, fickle husband of hers?
Ji Hanyi found it humiliating to discuss this in front of Shen Si. She hurriedly dipped into a curtsy and said, “I still need to visit the Gu Family, and my maid is waiting for me. Lord Shen, I should be going.”
For once, Ji Hanyi neither looked at Shen Si’s expression nor waited for him to respond. Right now, all she wanted was to leave as quickly as possible.
To escape this mortifying moment.
But just as she turned, a sudden force seized her wrist and pulled her back. Ji Hanyi stumbled backward. By the time she looked around in alarm, she was already standing directly before Shen Si. Their robes brushed together, and she stood between his legs.
She hurriedly tried to retreat, but the grip around her wrist tightened. Dazed, she lowered her head to stare at the hand clasped around her wrist, then raised her eyes to meet Shen Si’s upward gaze.
His eyes were as dark as a bottomless pool, and her mind went completely blank.
No emotion could be discerned in Shen Si’s long, narrow phoenix eyes. His cool expression still carried his usual sternness and reserve. Only then did he unhurriedly release her.
“What did Madam Xie mean just now by ‘suppose’?”