Chapter 43

Chapter 43

I repeated those words to Xia Wan once. He sighed. “Helan is a man of unblemished principle, with all the integrity of the old scholar-officials. Even in that Northern Qian hell, he recited ‘The Fallen of the Realm,’ while He Sulong became an honored guest of the northerners. Naturally, Helan looks down on him.”

“And what do you think?”

“If a man can be of use to me, why should I object?” He fed me a spoonful of soup and asked gently, “Is it good?”

Over the next three days, everything continued as usual. Xia Wan made no arrangements to attack the city and remained calm and leisurely. He even treated He Sulong with unfailing courtesy, as though the cold menace of that day and his vow that the city would fall within three days had both been a dream.

On the third day, Xia Wan went out, and I set off in search of a shady place to read. I happened upon He Sulong feeding Little Persimmon apples. It was a finicky eater and would only take them sliced into pieces. But the instant it saw me, it stopped eating and came bounding over on its slender legs, nuzzling against me. He Sulong called several times, but it refused to return, so he came over and stroked its head instead. “You little rascal. The moment my lady appears, you forget all about this old man.”

I smiled. “It’s simply mischievous. It only means to tease you.”

He Sulong looked wistful. “White deer may look beautiful to us, but among their own kind they are outcasts. When Wan’er first carried it home, it was nothing but skin and bone. It refused everything we tried to feed it and did nothing but whimper. I went to the village for goat’s milk and cut fresh wheat shoots for it. That was how I raised it. Strange, isn’t it? And yet it prefers you.”

“Affinity cannot be forced, nor can it be erased.”

He smiled. “Some affinities can destroy him.”

An autumn gust stirred the trees. Only then did I realize we were alone. He Sulong smiled with such benevolence that every hair on my body stood on end.

“General He, when I was young, the late emperor once brought a tiger cub into the palace. Xia Wan and I played with it constantly. It lazed around all day and let us pet it as we pleased, until we began to think of it as a cat. Then one day, I accidentally hurt it, and it sank its teeth into my arm. Blood poured from the wound. The late emperor told me that it was docile only because it chose to be. A tiger remained a tiger. The moment it ceased to be willing, it could tear us apart. Never, ever mistake a tiger for a cat.”

“You misunderstand me, my lady. I have never imagined I could control Wan’er – ”

“General, I have not finished.” I smiled. “You served Southern Xu for twenty years. Have you forgotten your manners so quickly?”

“Continue.”

“Because it had hurt me, the late emperor ordered the cub taken out of the palace. I was heartbroken. But the next morning, I discovered it had returned. Xia Wan had ordered it skinned whole, head and all. The hide had been cleaned and placed beside my bed.” I gazed into the distance, where a faint commotion had begun.

I still remembered how Xia Wan had looked then, the red mark between his brows vivid against his flawless, jade-pale face. Shy and innocent, he had said, “Aunt Xihe, now it will never bite anyone again.”

At that moment, a young soldier came running toward us. He practically tumbled to his knees, his face radiant with joy. “General! My lady! Songzhi City has surrendered!”

“What?” He Sulong’s response was almost a roar. “Jingtun would never surrender!”

I gave a derisive laugh and brushed past him on my way back.

Hooves thundered, scattering fallen leaves. I looked up to see Xia Wan galloping toward me. He must just have completed the surrender ceremony, for he wore full armor. I rarely saw him in martial dress. His usual gentle refinement had vanished beneath it, leaving only a valiant young commander.

In the autumn sunlight, he reached down to me from horseback like a radiant young god.

“Xihe, would you like to ride?”

I had a thousand things to say, yet only one word reached my lips. “Yes!”

He lifted me onto the horse, and together we raced across plains and through deep woods, startling wild geese and sparrows into flight. The clean autumn wind rushed against my face, and leaves spun down behind us. It had been a very, very long time since I had run so freely.

“Jingtun was so obstinate and hidebound. Xia Wan, how did you do it?” I asked.

He smiled but did not answer. “Whatever Xihe desires, she will have.”

The sky gradually darkened. A pale crescent moon lay reflected beside the lake, and the wind stirred gentle ripples over the water.

“Xia Wan, I am your aunt. This violates every human bond – ”

“If I truly were your brother’s child, that identity would have brought me an abundance of love. Missing my chance with you would then be a price I ought to pay.” His fingers opened the fastening of my robe. “But that identity has brought me nothing but suffering. Must it cost me you as well? Xihe, that is not fair.”

He kissed my neck, his hand slipping slowly inside my robe. Every absurdity began unfolding as though it were the most natural thing in the world. I heard his restrained, tender murmur. “My entire life is steeped in sin, Xihe, but you are my moon.”

Cicadas sang beside us, and the clean strength of his young body pressed close. I admit that for a moment, desire clouded my mind. Even when he was Naihe, stray thoughts had stirred whenever I held him. He was so hauntingly beautiful that when he set out to seduce someone, resisting him was nearly impossible.

But there was something else.
I knew perfectly well that as he held me, another fierce sensation made resistance impossible.

Fear.

I was afraid of him – afraid of this breathtakingly beautiful youth, of the madness in his love, of how utterly he might destroy me.

That night, we came within a hair’s breadth of damnation. The only thing that stopped it was the alarm drum sounding from the nearby camp, warning of an enemy attack.

“We have to go back. Now – Xia Wan, will you not listen to me?”

The tears that had brimmed in my eyes finally fell. After taking a moment to compose himself, he helped me dress.

I turned to leave, but he suddenly caught me from behind and held me tight.

“Let go of me! At a time like this?”

“Call me what I want, and I will let you go.”

All at once he became as petulant as a child. It was the first time he had coerced me – not coaxing or tempting, but demanding without compromise. The drumbeats came faster and faster. Unable to break free, I finally cried, “Husband, let us go.”

Moonlight exposed my sin with pitiless clarity. I was so ashamed that I wished I could die where I stood. He lifted me onto the horse. My struggle had pulled my robe askew, baring one shoulder.

He gently straightened the fabric, covering the scars that had lain there for years. Then he said softly, “Don’t be alarmed. It’s Chen Dong.”

On the very night Songzhi City surrendered, Chen Dong arrived from the eastern front with reinforcements – a full five days earlier than we had predicted.

Songzhi was vital, yet Chen Dong had not been particularly anxious. He believed Jingtun would hold the city for him and that he would arrive in time.

But from far away, he saw the great banner of Xia Wan’s army flying above Songzhi. The yuanchu bird spreading its wings to take flight seemed to tear the long night apart.

As he drew nearer, the sight greeting him above the gates was Jingtun’s severed head, its eyes still open.

All forces converged at Songzhi. The final battle would be fought at Nancheng.

The struggle for the realm had effectively been decided, but Chen Dong commanded Northern Qian’s finest troops. Years ago, it was with this iron army that the northerners had bathed more than half of Southern Xu in blood. Even now, a reversal was not impossible.

We returned to the temple in Linbei. Xia Wan remained behind to oversee the campaign, while He Sulong was to lead the opening attack.

“I drew this map of Nancheng’s ordinary defenses from memory. Here are the cannon emplacements, and here are the hidden sentry posts.” On the eve of battle, I stood in the pagoda explaining Nancheng’s terrain and defenses. A cold laugh interrupted me. I looked up and found He Sulong watching me with disdain.

I frowned. “General, what do you mean by that?”

“I fail to see the value of this defense map.”

Zheng Long stood nearby, beaming. “The wartime defenses will differ from the ordinary layout, of course, but any information is better than none. You were on the western front, General, so you may not know how much trouble my lady’s knowledge has spared us along the way!”

Voices around him rose in agreement.

He Sulong smiled with the broad indulgence common to elders. “The map is useful, certainly. But what if it is the opposite of the truth?” He pointed to one spot. “My lady says no troops are stationed here, yet my scouts report that a large force lies in ambush.”

I gave a cold laugh. “Naturally, they would alter their defenses in wartime. Besides – ”

He Sulong raised his voice. “Besides, they know that Empress Xihe, the woman who created Nancheng with her own hands, is among us.”

Helan, who had remained silent throughout, jerked up his head. The crowd erupted, whispers racing from man to man.

“My lady truly is Empress Xihe – the one who drove father and son to destroy each other!”

“I heard she was Chen Dong’s concubine before she went to aid the King of Northern Qian!”

“And now she’s our lord’s wife. Heaven above! Is she a fox demon reborn?”

He Sulong would never have launched this attack unprepared. Without betraying any emotion, I glanced toward the foot of the tower, where countless people had gathered. Beside me, Xia Wan took my hand.

Rumors about my origins had long circulated, and I had never concealed anything. But this was the first time they had been proclaimed so openly before everyone.

“Are you suggesting that because I was once Northern Qian’s empress, I have given you a false defense map to deceive you?”

“I would not dare. After all, you killed Danchi, the former King of Northern Qian, with your own hands. The only question is, why would you kill him?” At last, the old fox bared his sharp teeth. “Rumor in Northern Qian says it was so the eldest prince, Chen Dong, could take the throne without opposition!”

Alarm and excitement rippled through the crowd. No one was immune to the lure of palace scandal.

“Our Heavenly Venerable’s wife could not possibly have had an affair with the King of Northern Qian. And yet…” He pressed closer and demanded loudly, “Do you dare swear before Heaven, Earth, and your ancestors that there was never any illicit affection between you and Chen Dong, the King of Northern Qian?”

The people and commanders below all turned their eyes toward Xia Wan and me. No one spoke, yet somehow I could see blades gleaming in the darkness.

I was about to answer when Xia Wan stood. He was slightly taller than He Sulong and looked down at him. “Since you have invoked our ancestors, why have you not told everyone who she truly is?”

He Sulong clearly had not expected that. He went still, while Helan’s face turned whiter than paper.

Xia Wan walked to the railing. The clamor slowly subsided.