Chapter 34
Chapter 34
After that, Naihe and I settled in the Linbei camp.
“See that woman? When she first arrived, she looked like a ghost. Now…”
“Would the northern dog and his father have turned against each other over her if she wasn’t beautiful?”
“Stop staring. Haven’t you heard? That woman is mad!”
I stood in the stream washing clothes, the soldiers’ voices drifting indistinctly through the trees. Before I could hear the rest, Naihe approached and pressed down my hands. “Why are you doing this again?”
“I must learn to wash, cook, and keep house. I cannot spend my whole life unable to survive without servants.”
We had reached Linbei. Every day, mist-veiled mountains rose around us. Among ancient trees hundreds of years old, wild animals often watched with dark, wet eyes. During the months of repeated retreat, the men were occupied fighting Chen Dong’s army, while I remained safely in the rear and recovered.
Naihe said no more. He took the clothes and wrung them dry. I did not argue. Drying my hands, I gazed toward the distant ranges.
“Naihe, do you also think I am mad?”
He looked up in surprise.
“Burning a palace, killing the King of Northern Qian, going to prison, leaping from a tower… Sometimes I wonder whether this world drove me mad long ago, and madness is the only reason I survived.”
I did not wait for an answer. I gave a self-mocking smile and rose. “But all I can do is continue being mad.”
On the way back, we encountered Youchun. Twisting her fingers together, she gave me an uneasy smile. “Princess…”
I smiled in return. “Your wedding to Lord Helan is tonight. I have not yet congratulated you.”
Relief flooded her face. Her familiar, artless smile nearly hid her eyes. “Princess, you must come!”
“Of course.”
A few days earlier, Helan had raised the matter again. “Princess, you are unmarried. Having a man attend you is improper. Youchun should return to your service.”
I answered, “Youchun served me for ten years. If you will not plan for her future, then I must. She is twenty-five and still unmarried.”
Helan hesitated.
“Lord Helan has no wife either. Why not take Youchun as your own? She has been loyal to you for years, and she is trusted by us both. I could not rest easy if she married anyone else. Would this not be best?”
Helan Zhiyan agreed.
The bandits had been starved for celebration during those months. Given an excuse, they naturally made the most of it. They roasted a wild boar over the fire, gathered mountain mushrooms for dumplings, and brought out great jars of rice wine. Youchun wore a married woman’s coiffure with a red flower pinned into it. The stubborn, slow-witted girl had finally become a gentle wife.
Helan Zhiyan looked as he always had. The two bowed to me and offered a cup of wine. Smiling, I said, “Youchun, I wish you peace and joy throughout your life, and a loving husband beside you until your hair turns white.”
She smiled, then lowered her head and wiped tears with her sleeve. “Now that the princess no longer blames me, I will surely be happy.”
I nodded quietly and drank their wine.
Everyone ate meat and drank. Only Naihe sat quietly at my side. Wine blurred my gaze as I looked at him. “What is the point of all those Buddhist prohibitions? You might as well return to secular life. Then you could drink wine and eat meat.”
He smiled serenely, as beautiful as ever. I reached up and pinched his ear, then whispered, “Well? Leave the monastery, and I will marry you.”
He looked at me in surprise – and actually blushed.
I smiled. Then Helan Zhiyan approached. He had drunk heavily, and a thin sheen of tears stood in his eyes. Bowing, he said, “Princess, this subject wronged you. Allow me to offer this humble cup…”
I turned toward him with a bright smile, accepted the wine, and poured every drop onto the ground.
“You would have me drink your wine? Are you worthy?”
Helan Zhiyan froze.
“For all these years, I have wanted to find you and ask one question. How could you be so cruel?” My voice was low. “He was not a descendant of the Southern Xu royal house, but he was Zhiqiu’s son. The same Helan blood flowed in both of you. How could you send him to die? He was only six.”
Helan Zhiyan’s eyes rapidly filled with blood. His mouth worked for a long time before he managed, “I did not. I simply failed to react in time. That year, he wanted us to rescue you, but I could not. We had no way to save you. If he died, Southern Xu would truly perish. But he told me that you were the only descendant of Southern Xu left in the world and that he was… The Helan family has always been loyal unto death. I did not know what to do. Then he slipped away without telling us.”
“Loyal unto death? Hahaha! Then answer me this: that day he died, I was drowned beneath the frozen river, and the Southern Xu royal line was destroyed. Why did you not die? Hmm? I am asking you a question, Lord Helan. Why did you not die?”
Helan Zhiyan dropped to his knees. His forehead pressed to the ground, and he trembled without daring to speak.
The drinking songs and games stopped. In the silence, Zheng Long came to smooth things over. “Princess, you’ve had too much. Go and rest.”
“What business is it of yours when I discipline my minister?” I snapped, turning on him.
Zheng Long stared at me, dumbfounded. No. I could not be angry. They thought me mad, so I had to smile like a madwoman.
“You knew I was the queen of Northern Qian. You knew I killed the King of Northern Qian. You even had Youchun at your side, yet you claim you did not know I was imprisoned there when you attacked it with cannons. Roaring Forest General… how very interesting.”
Zheng Long’s habitual simple expression froze. He said awkwardly, “Princess, why must you do this? We all respect you now…”
“Indeed. Why tear away the pretense? I am already a dead woman. Would it not be kinder to let me remain a confused ghost?”
I turned toward Youchun, the bride of the evening. She had saved my life, and I had once rushed toward a doomed end for her sake.
“You know me better than anyone. For ten years, I refused to touch anything of unknown origin. But how could I refuse the wine at your wedding?”
“Princess…” She shook all over in panic.
“Unfortunately, those sisters of ours tried this same trick once before. I did not want you to grieve, so I kept you from learning of it.” I lifted her chin and spoke one word at a time. “You wretch. Is this how you repay me?”
As tears spilled from her eyes, wind cut sharply behind me. Helan Zhiyan, who had been kneeling in frightened helplessness, drew a short sword and drove it toward my back.
He moved too fast. I had no time to evade.
In that lightning instant, Naihe, silent until then, sprang up. He tore the dagger from Helan’s hand and set it against his throat.
Everyone froze in shock at the sudden reversal.
Naihe held the sharp blade, yet his eyes remained pure and gentle. Looking at me, he asked softly, “Xihe, does what you said just now still count?”
“What?”
“If I return to secular life, you will marry me.”
I tilted my head and studied him, then smiled. “It counts.”
Naihe pressed the blade a little harder and addressed Zheng Long’s bewildered people. “Thank you for your hospitality these past days. Xihe and I will now take our leave.”
He dragged Helan Zhiyan backward. A thin line of blood appeared on Helan’s neck, yet Helan screamed hysterically at Zheng Long, “Forget me! If you do not kill her now… she will cause a catastrophe beyond repair!”
Zheng Long placed a hand on his sword, then lowered it again. “But I can’t simply let you die!”
Naihe and I descended the mountain step by step. Zheng Long and his soldiers followed at a measured distance, torches in hand.
Sweat covered Zheng Long’s forehead. Abruptly, he said, “Why don’t you just admit it…”
Before Helan Zhiyan could answer, Naihe barked, “Stay back!”
They stopped again, but continued following at the same careful distance.
“We need to lose them…” I said.
“Do not worry. Once we reach the foot of the mountain, all will be well.” Naihe turned his head to reassure me. Helan Zhiyan continued struggling – not from fear of death, but because he wanted so desperately to kill me.