Chapter 36

Chapter 36

“Naihe, will you tell me? Who are you?”

Naihe lowered his head and stroked the white deer without answering. Then I saw the dense crowd surrounding the courtyard. They gazed at us with identical fervor and joy. In such numbers, their devotion became frightening. They fell to their knees, weeping as they cried, “The disciples greet the Heavenly Venerable! We greet the Heavenly Venerable!”

I stared at Naihe in shock. The moment I saw Lord Rat, I had dimly guessed the truth. But Naihe was so young that I could not believe it.

He smiled faintly. “I will tell you. But first, Xihe must marry me.”

“Why? I… am no longer pure, while you are still so young…”

“Because I like Xihe.”

Amid the followers’ ecstatic cries and sobs, I gazed at that peerlessly beautiful face and remembered the careless words I spoke when we first met.

“With a face like that, you must be either a Buddha or a demon.”

He took a small box from his sleeve and opened it before me. Inside were the pair of white porcelain rabbits I had returned to him. After everything we had endured, they remained smooth, pristine, and adorably innocent.

“Marry me, and I will take you home.” His gaze was clear and unwavering.

I liked him. He was the sole clear rain in my drought-stricken life. Only he had remained beside me, again and again. He put shoes on my feet, bound my hair, and passed through life and death for me. From beginning to end, he looked at me as if I were the rarest treasure in the world.

No woman could refuse such a gaze.

But I did not love him. After emerging from the frozen cavern that year, it seemed I no longer knew what love was.

And I feared him as one fears a bottomless abyss. For reasons I could not name, I had always sensed an enormous secret within him, one that would shatter me utterly.

And so…

I reached out and accepted the box.

He watched me in silence for a moment, then suddenly pulled me into his arms so tightly my bones hurt. I stared blankly at the crowd still kneeling below, uncertain whether I had chosen rightly. Then something fell against my neck.

A tear.

Slowly, I raised my arms around the young man. For some reason, I began to weep as well.

Qin Liuyuan and Lord Rat took charge of the wedding. I expected a perfunctory little ceremony. Instead, all six traditional Southern Xu rites were completed within three days. The preparations were hurried, but not one detail was neglected.

“This wedding robe belonged to an elderly titled lady of the former southern court. Don’t be put off because it was worn before. It is genuine sky-blue brocade – you couldn’t buy the stuff now if you tried. We had it altered to your measurements and added gold pearls, seventy-two in all.” Lord Rat beamed. “Even an emperor marrying off his daughter couldn’t do better.”

By chance, he was precisely right. The ceremonial standard for a royal princess’s wedding was seventy-two gold pearls.

I idly touched the robe. “Does sky-blue brocade not usually bear peacock designs? Why is this a phoenix?”

Qin Liuyuan answered courteously, “It originally showed golden clouds and peacocks. The old garment was damaged, so when it was resized, we had the embroiderers alter it to a great phoenix among plum blossoms. Does anything displease you?”

“No. I only noticed that Naihe’s wedding robe bears a yuanchu bird, while I am dressed in a phoenix.”

Southern Xu wedding robes usually bore peacocks or phoenixes. But the yuanchu bird symbolized the Primordial Origin Faith, which was presumably why Naihe wore it.

Lord Rat answered casually from the side. “Oh, don’t trouble yourself over that. We discussed it with the Heavenly Venerable. When the phoenix cries, peace comes beneath heaven. It is an auspicious sign.”
I sighed inwardly.

When the phoenix cries, peace comes beneath heaven. Though they did not say it openly, I had known since my days as empress that the Primordial Origin Faith was no simple religious movement. It possessed not only countless followers, but its own armed forces. Even before the present chaos, the Northern Qian court had lacked the strength to destroy it. Now that the world was in turmoil, it would naturally claim a share.

“Uncle Qin, I would like to see the bridal crown,” I said.

Qin Liuyuan acknowledged me and left. He was unfailingly thorough. Whether arranging the wedding or engaging in ordinary conversation, he was so courteous one could find no flaw.

Lord Rat was different.

“Your Heavenly Venerable is supposed to stand beyond worldly affairs. Now he suddenly takes a wife – and a woman like me at that. Does no one object?”

Lord Rat continued busily checking the preparations without looking up. “The Heavenly Venerable’s will is the will of heaven. If heaven decrees it, who dares object?”

“The will of heaven…” I repeated. “Do you truly believe he is divine?”

It was understandable for the lowest followers to believe. Naihe possessed an immortal’s crystalline face and understood gelu illusions. But Lord Rat was the Mortal Venerable and had personally helped him create the smoke. Did even he believe in heavenly destiny?

Lord Rat put down his work and looked at me in surprise. “Of course the Heavenly Venerable is divine. You don’t believe?”

I smiled without answering.

“When We first met the Heavenly Venerable, he was still a little child, riding that white deer like a young bodhisattva. We were about to kill Ourself when he said, ‘Wait three days, and retribution will surely come.’ As if We would believe that! But even then, We couldn’t beat him. Strange, isn’t it?”

As his tale wandered further afield, I interrupted. “And then?”

“We waited three days. Guess what happened? That bastard died! Delightful! Delightful! Hahahaha! Never in Our life had We felt such joy!” He burst into laughter.

“Perhaps Naihe killed him to win your belief.”

Lord Rat waved that away. “It was heaven’s will. The bastard feared We would kill him and guarded himself heavily. And do you know how he died?” He chuckled, his tone indescribably sinister. “He offended a favored consort of Northern Qian. Danchi, that northern dog, personally ordered his death. If that is not heaven’s will, what is?”

I frowned and considered. “Was the man called Hengchuan?”

He stared at me in surprise. “How do you know?”

Because I was the favored consort he offended.

When Youchun and I were preparing to seek refuge with the remnant court, Hengchuan was the gate guard who humiliated her. After I gained power, I let Youchun kill him with her own hands.

Danchi had always been wary of my interference in government. Even I did not know when he might relent. One day, intoxicated by autumn hibiscus, he finally gave me a blank imperial decree. I took Youchun to find that beast. By then, he commanded the palace guard. We caught him coupling with a palace maid. Naked and sobbing, he knelt on the floor. I handed Youchun the sword. Her first stroke did not kill him, so she struck again and again. She swung so hard the edge curled.

Other matters might leave room for doubt. But I had done this myself. There could be no deception. Could gods and spirits truly move unseen through the world?

Lost in a pleasurable memory, Lord Rat smiled. “The Heavenly Venerable taught Us to believe in retribution – that heaven always punishes the wicked. But since the northern dogs came, what kind of world has this become?”

He turned to me, an indescribable desolation in his eyes. I said nothing. In a singsong sigh, he murmured, “The good are cast adrift, while the wicked live in wealth and peace…”