Chapter 33

Chapter 33

I looked down from the window.

A man on horseback was calling to me at the top of his voice. I narrowed my eyes and realized it was Naihe. Armor had replaced his monastic robes, lending him the valiant bearing of a young warrior.

You are alive. Thank heaven. I whispered the words in my heart.

Chen Dong drew his bow to its full arc, the arrowhead aimed at me.

I stared at him.

The wind whipped up the thin blanket around me and my torn clothes. One shoulder lay bare, revealing a bite mark. Strangely, every other scar on my body quickly faded. Only that one remained, fresh and vivid despite the passing years.

His hand trembled.

“Aunt Xihe – ”

Perhaps it was a vision before death, but I heard Xia Wan calling me. I smiled from my heart, as I had when nothing had yet happened.

Then I looked at Chen Dong and spoke one word at a time. “You are not worthy.”

We were not worthy of a different ending.

Princess Xihe of Southern Xu should have been buried with Southern Xu.

Chen Dong, sovereign of Northern Qian, could never be forgiven.

Let us hate each other with all the savagery we possessed, then never meet again through all the years and all our future lives.

The bowstring sang. Chen Dong’s arrow streaked like a falling star.

At the same instant, I leapt from the window without hesitation.

Many years later, I could no longer clearly remember the tragedy of that night. Even of that plunge toward death, I remembered only the sense that something supported the wind behind me, slowing my fall enough for me to land in someone’s arms.

Naihe’s.

What I truly preserved and replayed endlessly was the look in his eyes. Those beautiful, gentle eyes were rimmed in red and filled with fury and grief. He looked at me as if he had been looking for an entire lifetime.

Within that gaze, I died and was reborn.

When I next awoke, I was inside a command tent. Pale blue daylight seeped through its seams, and by it I saw Naihe asleep beside my bed.

Awake, he had the beautiful face of a grown man, enough to send young women’s hearts into chaos. Asleep, every line around his brows and eyes became childlike. He frowned and occasionally whimpered under his breath, as though caught in a nightmare.

I remembered that he had drawn the nightmare curse into himself. Unsure whether to wake him, I reached out and gently stroked the crown of his head. He had evidently had no time to shave it, and soft hair brushed my palm.

Suddenly, he bolted upright, gasping. Fine sweat covered his forehead.

“A nightmare?” I asked hoarsely. “What did you see?”

He studied me for a long time before answering quietly. “I dreamed of a river. Many bodhisattvas stood along its banks, appearing and vanishing in the heavy mist. You were walking through the water, with no shore before or behind you. I called your name, but you would not answer…”

I watched him. “Was it the curse?”

“It is over now.” He lowered his eyes. When he raised them again, his expression was gentle and composed. He poured me water and placed a pillow behind my back, asking as he moved, “Does anything hurt?”

I shook my head and held the cup. “Where are we?”

“In the Linbei Bandit King’s camp. After leaving the palace, I looked for a chance to rescue you. I happened upon their army and came with them.”

I smiled. “I never imagined anyone would still come to save me.”

The tent flap opened. A man entered in a dark cerulean robe with broad sleeves. I had not seen such correct Southern Xu attire in many years. After a decade apart, his face remained as fine as jade and his bearing tall and upright.

“This guilty subject, Helan Zhiyan, greets the princess.”

He knelt and touched his forehead to the ground, remaining there. Youchun followed behind and knelt as well.

I looked at them for a long time before saying, “Rise.”

He did not. He kowtowed heavily. “Princess, when this subject heard the gelu meant to cast sorcery against the people of Southern Xu, panic robbed me of reason. I ordered Youchun to kill him. Had I foreseen what followed, I would have offered my own neck to the blade…”

I interrupted softly. “You now recognize the Linbei Bandit King as your lord?”
Helan Zhiyan froze. “No – ” he blurted.

The tent flap opened again, and a giant of a man entered. At the sight of me, he spread his lips in a grin. Then he noticed Helan Zhiyan kneeling, dropped down, and performed a bow that bore little resemblance to any proper rite. Raising his head, he said, “Princess, it’s been years, but you still look the same. No wonder that northern dog forgot his own name over you…”

Helan Zhiyan’s grief vanished. Still kneeling, he began coughing violently.

I smiled and recognized the newcomer. “We met only briefly that day. I never imagined so many years would pass before we met again. Now I should address you as Great King.”

Zheng Long was the mountain bandit who had raided the Northern Qian camp. He and Helan Zhiyan had shared a cell and escaped together. Somehow, he had since become the Linbei Bandit King, ruler of a powerful territory.

“No, no.” He waved in alarm, almost embarrassed. “What kind of king am I? Helan devised a title for me – Roaring Forest General. Heh, now that sounds cultured.”

At his side, Helan Zhiyan nearly coughed up a lung.

I smiled. “Lord Helan and the Roaring Forest General should both rise. I lost the right to call myself a princess long ago. If you remain on your knees, I will have to bow in return.”

“Not with your health! Absolutely not.” Zheng Long jumped up and casually hauled Helan Zhiyan to his feet. “Get up, Helan. The princess said she doesn’t want any of that.”

Helan Zhiyan rose awkwardly and glared at Zheng Long. Zheng Long noticed nothing and continued smiling at me. “That was close! I figured the northern dogs were fighting among themselves, which made it the perfect time for us to attack. So I sent the cannons around the rear. Who could’ve guessed you were locked up there? We missed killing you by this much. Just proves heaven watches over noble people!”

“What is the state of the battle?” I asked.

“Don’t ask. That bastard Chen Dong reacted too fast. We can’t take Nancheng, so we’re retreating toward Linbei. It’s fine. As long as the green hills remain, we’ll never lack firewood. Hahahaha!”

He was optimistic, but no one else in the tent joined his laughter.

Helan Zhiyan closed his eyes, his patience exhausted. Then he addressed me. “We are withdrawing into the mountains near Nancheng to await another opportunity. The terrain is easy to defend and difficult to attack. We will be safe for the moment.”

“Then… what do you intend to do with us?”

“You’ll come with us, of course! Princess, as long as Zheng Long has one mouthful of food, you’ll never go hungry!”

Before he could finish, Helan Zhiyan shouted, “Silence!”

Even I jumped. Zheng Long’s mouth remained open before he slowly and awkwardly closed it.

Helan Zhiyan drew a deep breath and bowed with utmost solemnity. “This subject and the Roaring Forest General swear to protect the princess with our lives.”

I did not answer. Trying to ease the awkwardness, Zheng Long spoke again. “Isn’t that exactly what I just said?” One look at Helan’s face made him close his mouth sheepishly.

At last, I raised my head and smiled. “Then I will trouble Lord Helan.”

The tension in Helan Zhiyan’s face finally eased. “In that case, Princess, please rest. We will withdraw.”

Youchun, silent until then, raised her head. “Young Master, I…”

Helan Zhiyan hurriedly said, “Perhaps Youchun should continue attending you.”

My gaze settled on her familiar, innocent face as she stared directly at me.

“No,” I said softly. I glanced back at Naihe. “He can take care of me.”

Youchun looked bewildered. “But Princess, he is a man. And a monk.”

I smiled at her. “What difference does that make?”

Zheng Long’s jaw dropped. After a long moment, he managed, “P-Princess, the rumor says you killed the King of Northern Qian for a man. It – it can’t be him, can it?”

“Of course not.” I smiled at him.

“That’s what I thought! Hahahaha!”

Before all their eyes, I gently took Naihe’s hand. “But he is indeed my man.”

The instant the words left my mouth, Helan Zhiyan sprang up, seized Zheng Long, and dragged him toward the exit. “This subject takes his leave! His leave!”