Chapter 16

Chapter 16

That sleep lasted many days. In my haze, I saw girl after girl taking turns cooking, brewing medicine, and feeding me by the spoonful. They all seemed to be women seized by Northern Qian. I wanted to ask how they had managed to hide me, and how they knew I was a princess, but I remained too feverish to speak.

When I truly woke, it was dusk. Through my stupor, I heard someone marvel that the New Year had arrived so quickly.

New Year meant spring was not far away.

Between waking and sleep, I heard girls laughing and singing in clear voices.

“January snow fills the bed, February frost seals the pane.
March streams run clear and cool, April swallows perch on beams.
In May my love walks mountain paths, in June he wades across the river.
July brings the gentle wind, August sends the birds in flight.
September’s red robes shine, October’s grain wine makes us drunk.
In November my love comes home – do not wait for twelfth-month snow.”

The singing swelled. I forced open my eyes. Coals burned in the twilight room, and girls filled every space on and around the bed. Singing, they passed around a jar of wine and drank with astonishing vigor.

“Merciful heavens, you’re finally awake!” Dengxin’er felt my forehead. “If you slept any longer, you’d frighten us to death.”

The others crowded around. “Are you truly awake?” “Does your head hurt?” “What do you want to eat?” “Is it true a princess rides in a carriage drawn by eighteen horses?” “You slept with Northern Qian’s First Prince? What’s he like in bed?”

I stared. They were tall and short, some still wearing remnants of makeup, all with the same bright, innocent eyes.

“Move!”

A tall, powerfully built girl pushed through. She touched my forehead, thrust a bowl to my lips, and said simply, “Princess, drink.”

I recognized Youchun, who had come here from Chen Dong’s camp with me. “Who told you I was a princess?”

“Young Master.”

She seemed slow and slightly simple, though her hair was arranged more carefully than any other girl’s.

“Do you mean Lord Helan?” I asked tentatively.

She nodded, smiled shyly, and stubbornly held the bowl to my mouth.

It contained Northern Qian’s fierce liquor. One swallow burned away my ability to speak. The girls laughed, and I joined them as the truth gradually cleared in my mind.

Zheng Long was only a bandit, yet his attack on the northern camp had shown uncanny strategy. Helan Zhiyan must have directed it from prison. Chen Dong had used every method and still failed to discover who carried the messages. Southern Xu’s men were dead or captive. He could not imagine who would still risk death in loyal service.

He had overlooked the camp prostitutes.

“How did you enter the northern camp? Can you still find him?”

Youchun lowered her head, struggling to arrange the words. “Northern dogs came. Young Master told us to leave. Everyone left, but I stayed with him. They imprisoned Young Master. They hurt me. I lived, helped Young Master, carried messages. Then Young Master left.”

The room fell silent except for firecrackers in the distance.

I sighed. She was a slightly simple child.

“It is all right. When spring comes, I will take you to find him.”

Joy lit her face. She nodded hard. “Spring comes, find Young Master!”

The girls laughed. Dengxin’er threw an arm around her shoulders. “It’s all right. New Year is here. Spring will come soon.”

The northern army had seized civilian houses and carried these women away to serve, but provided them no quarters. When not summoned, they returned here. The house had belonged to Dengxin’er’s family. Northern soldiers killed her parents, leaving it empty. Then the girls came, bringing a flower one day and a stray cat the next, until they had made it surprisingly lovely.

Of course. A place where girls lived was always beautiful.
An excited cry came from outside. “Sister Dengxin’er, look what we found in your backyard!”

Several girls rolled an enormous round pumpkin through the door. Delighted, Dengxin’er set an iron pot in the room, washed the pumpkin, and began cooking it.

“We’ll celebrate New Year too!”

As the girls helped, they chattered. “Northerners eat as though their mouths have holes. Half of it falls on the ground, so I picked it up.”

“They haven’t been tormenting us as much lately. I can dig wild greens.”

“I wish they’d leave. Once they’re gone, we’ll celebrate properly. I’ll fry flatbreads for everyone.”

They added chunks of roast meat, potatoes, greens, and anything else they had found. The soup held a jumble of ingredients, yet smelled impossibly rich. We broke twigs for chopsticks and devoured it bite by bite. The cold night descended, but sweat covered my brow.

“A princess eats things like this?” Dengxin’er laughed at my appetite.

“Truthfully, nothing has ever tasted so good.” I smiled sheepishly. “And stop calling me Princess. My name is Xihe. I’m sixteen.”

“I’m twenty-one.”

“I’m Moli, nineteen.”

“They call me Third Girl. I’m seventeen.”

Youchun looked at us and spoke slowly. “I am Youchun. Fifteen.”

As we finished, Dengxin’er pointed outside. “Look!”

Countless sparks flickered in the black night, scattered like stars.

Heavy with food, we leaned against the frosted window. One girl asked timidly, “Could it be the northern dogs?”

Dengxin’er froze, then slapped her thigh in delight. “Northern dogs, nothing! Those are Southern Xu’s people celebrating New Year!”

There were no firecrackers left in the ruins of defeat, and no one would dare light them if any remained. Instead, people burned dry branches or whatever they could find. It was New Year. The year-beast still had to be frightened away.

“Let’s go too!”

We ran outside and made torches from anything that would burn. At first we waved them cautiously. Then we grew bolder, laughing, shouting, and dancing.

I danced among them, almost afraid that all this warmth was a dream and I would wake still drowning beneath the ice.

I did not know then that no one had confirmed my death because, the day after my execution, Chen Dong led his army west.

Members of Southern Xu’s royal clan had gathered the remaining troops and proclaimed a king.

I still do not know whether the days that followed were beautiful or disastrous.

Torture and the ice prison had destroyed my health. For years afterward, I could not sleep on winter nights. At the time, fevers came without warning, leaving me convulsing with icy hands and feet.

Nancheng had descended into chaos. Ordinary people could find neither physicians nor medicine. Youchun stole wine from banquets and used it to rub down my body. Sometimes I woke to find her lying beside my bed, watching without blinking through dark, pure eyes like an obedient little animal.

The girls were forced to receive countless Northern Qian soldiers. They returned smelling of filth. When I had strength, I gathered herbs in the hills and boiled water for them to wash. I remember their swollen red eyes and pale bodies in those last days of winter. They cursed the northerners savagely and pressed stolen grain and meat into my hands. Often a girl who had spoken with us one day failed to return that night. We would hold one another and weep, or sing through night after sleepless night.