Chapter 30

Chapter 30

He rarely called me by name. At first, when I was merely his plaything, he called me Xiaoxi. Later, I became simply the empress.

“Many years ago, you and We played games together more than once. We won most and lost few – but the one time We lost, the defeat was so complete it has endured until today. Are you inclined to play another game with Us?”

He was unlike his usual self, a lion newly awakened, regarding me with lazy interest.

I nodded.

He took out a wooden tablet and tossed it to me. “The First Prince presented this evidence. He claims it was found at the gelu’s residence. Carved upon it is a letter arranging a meeting with the gelu. Though cut with a knife, the writing is identical to Naihe’s hand. The appointed hour was the very hour the gelu died.”

Danchi watched me, plainly savoring the blood draining from my face.

“But…” He smiled maliciously. “We know it was not him, because at that hour, he was elsewhere.”

Several men dragged Naihe forward. He had clearly been subjected to severe torture. He collapsed limply to the floor, his face covered in blood.

“Come, little monk. Where were you at that hour?”

Danchi took a sheathed sword from a guard and struck him with it.

The blow hurled Naihe onto his side. A bloody welt immediately rose across his jade-pale face. He gave a faint convulsion but did not speak.

The strike felt as though it had landed across my own face. I regarded Danchi coldly. Almost every time he showed that triumphant, cruel smile, I struggled against the urge to kill him.

Danchi studied my reaction with satisfaction, then smiled again. “The gelu did not know the palace layout. Someone had to guide him to the meeting. But the guide did not take him to Naihe. Instead, the guide led him somewhere he should never have gone.”

My head snapped up.

“The empress knows what happened next, but Chen Dong does not. The gelu caught Yu Qing! Hahahaha! But We know everything. Everything lies in the palm of Our hand!” Danchi burst into deranged laughter.

I did not look at Chen Dong’s face. Though I still stood calmly, panic had reduced my thoughts to ruins.

“Does the empress imagine Yu Qing then killed him? That is not the truth either, because the gelu was not yet dead.” Danchi gazed at me in deep satisfaction. “The gelu lay on the ground, barely breathing. The hidden guide picked up a stone and smashed it into his chest. Once. Twice. Then the guide arranged his body in that position and left it along the route all of you were certain to take.”

Danchi looked in my direction and smiled sinisterly. “Youchun, We underestimated you. Who knew you could lift such a heavy stone?”

Slowly, I turned toward Youchun behind me.

She stood in her palace robes, watching me quietly, innocent and guileless as a full moon.

“You hid this from me…” I whispered.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I am the young master’s servant.”

Somehow I could still think calmly. Oh. The young master was Helan Zhiyan. Oh. So throughout these years beside me, she had continued obeying another person’s orders.

I had called her foolish. In truth, I had always been the greatest fool.

The guards forced Youchun down and dragged her beside Naihe.

“Which of these three truths will the empress choose?” Danchi asked with delight. “Naihe, Yu Qing, or Youchun?” Of course he was delighted. Nothing could have pleased him more.

Choose Naihe, and the remnant court in the west would be massacred.

Choose Yu Qing, and our alliance would collapse, leaving me to die.

Choose Youchun, and my personal maid would be guilty of murdering the gelu. She and I would both die here.
I held Danchi’s gaze. He was almost delirious with joy.

Every life has many guides, some good, some wicked.

My first were probably Grandfather and my brother, who taught me how to be an aristocrat. Then came Zhiqiu, who taught me dignity and strength of character. And after her came Danchi. Ten years married to him, ten years fighting him – he taught me how to be a madwoman.

“What choice is there? The truth is the truth. No one can alter it.” I interrupted Danchi’s delight with a faint smile. “How could it have been Naihe? He did leave the banquet at that hour, but he was with me.”

Chen Dong’s head jerked up. He stared at me in disbelief.

Danchi clearly had not anticipated that answer. His smile froze.

“Why was he with you?”

I smiled and walked to Danchi, gazing at him like a truly devoted wife.

But my smile was colder than ice. “The inner palace is lonely. Whatever Your Majesty does, this consort does as well.”

Danchi’s smile vanished completely. He looked at me, his face twitching involuntarily.

I held near-absolute power in the Great Qin harem, and Danchi had long since ceased daring to touch me. If I wished, I could naturally gather handsome men around me. I had not, because my upbringing forbade it – and because the last shred of dignity left to an impotent man was his wife’s fidelity.

But that day, I had mistaken Naihe for Chen Dong.

Beneath the oppressive sky, I cradled his face and kissed him deeply. In that intimacy, I tasted the illusion of being loved. It was my first surrender to desire in ten years. Nearly panicked, he pushed me away and left. I believed it had been a dream. Only later did I remember the scent upon him: the pure fragrance of sandalwood.

“You shameless woman!” Chen Dong’s voice trembled.

“Shame?” Without turning, I smiled at Danchi. “But I am a woman too. What else can I do when my husband is impotent? Sustain myself with memories of all those days in Chen Dong’s bed?”

Even the wind went still.

Come, then. You wished to play at madness. Let us see who is madder.

“You dared – you dared…” Danchi roared.

He was impotent. Even with autumn hibiscus, he could not endure long enough to make a woman conceive. My supposed pregnancy and miscarriage had been an enormous deception aimed at Chen Dong.

I laughed softly. “What would I not dare? I dared break every one of your bones inch by inch.”

Gasps rose around us. Danchi’s eyes bulged. Then he lowered his head and stared at his chest.

A hairpin protruded from it. Blood poured steadily down.

What does one do when every card leads to death?

Overturn the table.

I whispered my final words into his ear.

“It is easy for a man to become a dog. Have you ever seen a dog stand up and become a man again?”

Danchi collapsed. Slowly, I turned around.

Every sword in the room was drawn and pointed at me.

Chen Dong looked dazed, as though he had not yet awakened to what had happened.

My hands covered in blood, I stumbled toward him and lifted one to caress his face.

“General!” people cried all around us.

Chen Dong stared at me but did not retreat. I smiled at him with infinite tenderness. “Take me away. Please?”

“You killed my father.” His eyes had turned red.

And so I knew his answer.

No one would ever take me away.

To live alone in this filthy world was my fate.