Chapter 155
Chapter 155
After returning to Dali, Di Xiulan quickly made all the arrangements.
The common people soon learned the explosive news-
Ye Piaoling, the legitimate daughter of the Prime Minister’s Mansion, had achieved the Dao through cultivation and was about to ascend with the Regent King!
For thousands of years, the people of the Glazed Continent had cultivated blindly without ever hearing of anyone ascending. Now, all of a sudden, a pair of them were ascending together. Naturally, everyone was talking about it.
Gu Liuxian was the first to declare he did not believe it.
What a joke!
This old man had not ascended yet. How could his excessively outstanding granddaughter possibly ascend first?
Ye Liaozhai, meanwhile, began combing through historical records, wanting to know what kind of reward a father could receive after his daughter ascended…
The answer was: none.
The ascenders in Dali’s history were all legends. There were no records saying their families could gain any benefits alongside them.
In other words, there was a very high chance he would get absolutely nothing!
Ye Liaozhai therefore cried until he fainted in the privy.
He had been a father for nothing!!!
When Hua Wuhuang heard that Ye Piaoling was leaving, he was deeply reluctant to part with her.
“Xiao Yezi, once you ascend, I’ll have to face Lu Yin all by myself…” Hua Wuhuang said sadly.
Ye Piaoling said, “Huahua, we’ll meet again. As for Elder Lu…”
Ye Piaoling offered a sincere suggestion. “Maybe you owed him in your previous life. Why don’t you just grant his wish and marry him? Everything else can wait until after the wedding. At worst, ask for a bigger bride price!”
Hua Wuhuang: “…”
Hua Wuhuang questioned her speechlessly, “How could you think that? What could I possibly have owed him in my past life?”
“Well…” Ye Piaoling sighed and said, “If even you don’t know, then I know even less…”
The secrets of heaven could not be revealed.
In any case, you owed him a life!
…
Ye Piaoling and Di Xiulan left the Glazed Continent and set off toward one billion.
Inside the Dali imperial palace, Xiao Changye lay gloomily over his desk.
His master had just run off with the Damn Woman like that, leaving him here all alone.
“Caw, caw, caw!”
The Silly Prophet flew in.
Xiao Changye frowned. “What are you doing here?”
The Silly Prophet said, “I came to tell you everything.”
Although the Love of the Divine Tree was of no use in the operation to save the Life Origin Realm, he still had the right to know.
The Silly Prophet said, “Our story begins with the Divine Tree…”
The Silly Prophet cawed and cooed as it told him the entire story. Finally, it said, “You are very lucky. The Evil Deity born alongside you took on the duty that originally belonged to you. For the next ten million years, you will be free!”
The Silly Prophet said enviously, “And since you are the Love of the Divine Tree, every time you reincarnate, you’ll be born into royalty or nobility. Life after life, you’ll wear fine clothes, eat fine food, and enjoy all the riches and honors of the mortal world. Pretty nice, huh?”
Xiao Changye listened to the end.
Then he sat there in a daze for a very long time.
It was clearly an absurd story, yet somewhere in the unseen flow of fate, he naturally believed all of it.
So that was the truth…
After the Silly Prophet finished explaining, it flew away.
Xiao Changye sat blankly before the imperial desk, lost in thought.
Because he was nothing but dead weight and completely useless, the Damn Woman had somehow muddled her way from evil to good. Then she had to spend an endless stretch of time staying in the empty Life Origin Realm, watering the Divine Tree day after day.
And no one knew when she would be able to revive the Divine Tree…
Xiao Changye sat there until dawn.
As the distant sound of the palace water clock vanished into the first light of day, he stood up in a huff.
He made his decision.
“Hmph. All the splendor of the mortal world is nothing but fleeting smoke. There is nothing worth lingering over!”
Xiao Changye summoned the old eunuch and said, “I am going to ascend too.”
The old eunuch: “???”
Your Majesty, with that meager cultivation of yours, what are you planning to ascend with?
But Xiao Changye had already lifted his brush and written a rough edict. He said, “My Seventh Imperial Uncle is both virtuous and wise. He can become an enlightened ruler. I will hand the throne to him.”
The old eunuch was so frightened that he dropped to his knees with a thud.
At morning court, Xiao Changye publicly announced that he was going to ascend and issued the edict passing on the throne.
All the civil and military officials were so frightened they fell to their knees.
Had His Majesty gone mad?!
Xiao Changye paid none of it any mind.
After arranging his successor, he went alone to the Secret Cave on Hundred Demon Mountain and returned to the Eternal Life Origin Realm through the teleportation array.
At this moment, the Life Origin Realm was bright and silent.
Xiao Changye walked straight beneath the withered Divine Tree.
He clenched his fists and said indignantly, “The Damn Woman has already formed a family with Master, so let them go wander around shamelessly wherever they want… Anyway, I will always be alone. I deserve to become a tree.”
Having said that, he placed his hand on the tree trunk and closed his eyes.
The next second, the young man’s figure turned into a beam of light and merged into the Divine Tree…
With the return of the love spirit, the Divine Tree instantly gained tremendous vitality.
It radiated a brilliant light, and from its withered branches, tender green shoots slowly emerged…
The Divine Tree had been revived!
It shook its branches and leaves, a little proud and a little sad.
This is better. Let’s see who still thinks We are useless!
It was just that, in the endless long years ahead, it would still have to spend them all alone, with no one ever by its side again…
Two shadows suddenly flew in from afar.
It was the Silly Prophet, and a huge Azure Dragon.
The Azure Dragon had four dragon claws, and on each claw was a bright yellow pair of underpants embroidered with dragons.
Xiao Changye, who had now become the Divine Tree, was jolted hard-
Damn it, those were clearly all his underpants!
That dead fish in the storage pouch had actually come back to life, really turned into a dragon, and even put on all his underpants along the way?
The dragon and the Silly Prophet came to the side of the Divine Tree.
The Divine Tree asked, “What are you here for?”
The Silly Prophet said, “We’re here to form a family with you!”
The Divine Tree gave a cold laugh. “We have no desire to form a family with you.”
The Silly Prophet said, “From now on, the three of us will live happily together, and you’ll never be lonely again! Quack quack quack!”
The Divine Tree refused, “We have long since grown used to loneliness. You all can move around freely, but We cannot move… Go on, leave. There’s no need for you to stay here and keep Us company.”
The Azure Dragon said, “No, you are a dragon. I want to be with you.”
The Divine Tree: “…”
The Divine Tree said, “Can’t you see? We are not a dragon at all. We are a tree.”
The Azure Dragon said, “I don’t believe it.”
The Azure Dragon said firmly, “All your underpants have dragons on them. You must be a dragon, my only kinsman.”
The Divine Tree was speechless for a long time.
Then it suddenly remembered something and said in anger, “Who allowed you to wear Our underpants? Take them off!”
The Azure Dragon muttered unhappily, “Take them off, then. So stingy…”
It flung off all four pairs of underpants, letting them fall scattered beneath the tree.
Then the Azure Dragon also coiled up comfortably beneath the tree and said, “Family, let me sing you a song! For the next thousand years, ten thousand years, I can bring you happiness with my singing.”
It opened its dragon mouth and began to sing in a deep voice:
“Pleasant Goat, Pretty Goat, Lazy Goat, Fiery Goat, Slow Goat, Soft Goat, Red Wolf, Grey Wolf…”
The Divine Tree: “…”
The Silly Prophet: “…”
The song ended.
The Azure Dragon asked, “How was my singing?”
The Divine Tree said, “You sang very well. Don’t sing next time.”
After hearing that, the Azure Dragon felt very comforted, and its huge dragon head rubbed emotionally against the tree. “You are the only one in this world who says my singing sounds good. I am willing to keep you company forever.”
The Divine Tree said with a dark expression, “We were not praising you…”
But the Azure Dragon had already closed its eyes and comfortably dozed off.
The Silly Prophet began building a nest in the tree.
This world had already revived. After countless ages of evolution, brand-new life would spread across the entire continent.
By then, the three of them, along with the four pairs of underpants on the ground, would be the oldest beings here.
The new generation of life would not know how the world had once been destroyed and reborn. And then, once human cultivators again allowed their desires to swell, the tragic cycle would be set in motion once more…
Thinking of this, the Silly Prophet felt a little worried.
But the Azure Dragon was not worried at all. It kept drooling foolishly in its sleep, its tail affectionately wrapped around the tree trunk as it murmured in a dream, “I will always guard you here, and never let you be hurt again…”
(End of main text, HE)
PS: Everyone, since this is a comedy, it won’t be too long, so the main text ends here. This is a happy ending. The male and female leads live happily together, and everyone lives happily together… I originally wanted to add some depth and write a story about humanity and nature, life and reincarnation, but I didn’t manage it. In the end, it became just a funny story. Long live happiness!
There will be extra chapters next. Please enjoy them!