Chapter 79
Chapter 79
No one in the Duke’s Mansion slept that night. At long last, they finally figured out what had happened.
It turned out the latrine pit had suddenly exploded, blasting an entire row of outhouses into the air.
The incident quickly dominated the imperial capital’s trending searches, and everyone was talking about it in the streets and alleys.
The guests from that night all looked ghastly, each one calculating the surface area of their psychological trauma.
They had only gone to a birthday banquet, and they still managed to run into an exploding latrine!
What kind of cursed luck was that?!
“You didn’t see the scene. There was shit flying everywhere!”
“Ah! Blech!”
“If I’d known, you couldn’t have beaten me into attending that banquet. I won’t dare set foot in the Duke’s Mansion again in this lifetime. I’m scared, absolutely scared…”
As for why the latrine pit had exploded, that became one of Dali’s unsolved mysteries.
The guard who had thrown the grenade had been knocked unconscious by a flying outhouse. After he woke up, although he knew perfectly well what had happened, he very wisely kept his mouth shut and insisted he knew nothing.
After Xiao Mei washed up, she also quickly guessed the cause-it had to be that thing stolen from Ye Piaoling’s room. After being thrown into the latrine pit, it had triggered a massive explosion!
But she could only pretend not to know, lest she be held responsible.
Duke Anguo was so furious smoke practically poured from all seven orifices. He had merely held a birthday banquet, only to be blessed with dung raining from the heavens-how very auspicious. He immediately summoned a group of master detectives to investigate the truth behind the outhouse explosion.
The detectives searched every blade of grass and every tree in the area, but all they found were a few suspicious dark green fragments. They still could not piece together the truth.
When Ye Piaoling heard the gossip, she sank into thought.
An outhouse explosion. Dark green fragments…
That damn thing couldn’t have been my grenade, could it???
Xiao Mei wanted her electric scooter, and lately the guards from the Duke’s Mansion had been tailing her, trying to get their hands on it. Since they couldn’t steal the scooter, did they switch to stealing a grenade instead?
And after stealing it, they took it back and blew up their own outhouses…
She really did not understand that line of reasoning.
Human behavior was truly baffling. Ye Piaoling shook her head in confusion.
In any case, the lost grenade was a warning. Huohuo was right-she really did need to protect her belongings properly.
It wasn’t the thief stealing that was scary. It was the thief constantly eyeing your stuff!
Using only iron chains for the electric scooter was neither reliable nor convenient. She had to come up with a better method…
Ye Piaoling suddenly remembered the Regent King’s bed that could rebound people.
If she could learn the Rebound Technique from the Regent King, she would never have to worry about her electric scooter being stolen again!
That very night, Ye Piaoling spent a high price of three thousand taels of silver to buy a jar of top-quality wine, then carried it to Chonghua Palace.
Although she had failed to move the bed last time, she had at least taken the opportunity to understand the correct way to get along with the Regent King.
That guy was a gentle pervert on the outside, but in reality, he was Princess Di, someone who particularly needed sweet words and coaxing.
Coaxing him? How hard could that be?
Ye Piaoling smiled wickedly. She had industrial-strength saccharine by the handful.
She arrived at the Regent King’s study.
Di Xiulan was seated behind his desk, reading the memorials sent from the palace. Any government affairs the young emperor could not decide on would be sent to Chonghua Palace.
Ye Piaoling strode over and said with deep feeling, “Babe, I went to buy wine today. Do you know what kind of wine? The kind that makes me want to be with you for all time.”
Di Xiulan: ???
Ye Piaoling placed the wine on the desk. “This jar of wine represents a little token of my sincerity. Um… could you teach me that Rebound Technique that protects the bed from being casually climbed onto?”
Di Xiulan raised his eyes. So she had come to learn a skill.
After a pause, the man said mildly, “With your spiritual power, you cannot cultivate that technique.”
When Ye Piaoling heard that, she was rather disappointed.
It seemed the Rebound Technique required profound magic power. It was simply not something a newbie like her could learn…
She immediately picked up the wine jar and turned to leave.
Since she couldn’t get the matter done, there was no need to give the gift either. What a waste of money.
Di Xiulan said, “But if you want to use that spell for something, this king may help you if he is in a good mood.”
Ye Piaoling bent down and set the wine jar on the floor, smiling ingratiatingly. “Better to leave it here. It takes up too much space on the table.”
Di Xiulan asked, “What do you want to protect with the spell?”
“My electric scooter,” Ye Piaoling said. “There are always unruly commoners trying to steal my electric scooter.”
Di Xiulan rose and led her into the courtyard.
The electric scooter was still parked there calmly, looking as if it had no quarrel with the world.
The man waved his sleeve, scattering a sheet of spiritual light that brushed over Ye Piaoling and the electric scooter like stardust.
Then he said, “It is done.”
Ye Piaoling touched the handlebars in surprise. “So from now on, aside from the two of us, anyone who touches it will be rebounded, right?”
Di Xiulan nodded.
Just then, Liang Yun passed by.
Ye Piaoling wanted to test the effect of the Rebound Technique, so she quickly waved at Liang Yun. “Lord Liang, come help me with something!”
Liang Yun immediately walked over. “My lord, Miss Ye, what are your orders?”
Ye Piaoling pointed at the electric scooter. “Take a look. Can you still ride it?”
“This… wouldn’t that be inappropriate?” Liang Yun was a little embarrassed. Scratching his head, he said, “Last time, I even caused it to get injured. I feel quite ashamed.”
Ye Piaoling said, “It’s fine. Try again.”
Liang Yun was still curious about this monster in his heart. Since the monster’s owner had said so, Liang Yun reached for the handlebars again, attempting to get on.
Whoosh!
The electric scooter suddenly burst with spiritual power, knocking him into a stumble.
Liang Yun’s expression changed drastically. “This demon carriage holds a grudge! It actually attacked me on its own!”
Ye Piaoling could not help bursting into laughter.
The Rebound Technique really worked. From now on, she would never have to worry about someone stealing her scooter again!
Liang Yun said self-reproachfully, “It’s all my fault. Last time, I made it crash into a big tree. Otherwise, it would not reject me from a thousand miles away like an enemy…”
“It’s fine. Let’s not stoop to its level for now,” Ye Piaoling comforted him.
Liang Yun was so moved tears welled in his eyes.
Thank goodness Miss Ye did not blame him!
After Ye Piaoling returned to the room, she hurriedly broke the mud seal on the wine jar and poured Di Xiulan a full cup.
“Come on, babe, have some.”
“…”
The man gazed at her and finally could not help asking, “Do you speak to everyone like this?”
Ye Piaoling asked, “Like what?”
Di Xiulan said, “Babe.”
“Yes! I’m here!”
Ye Piaoling looked shy and bashful. “Why are you suddenly calling me that? How embarrassing. Eee…”
Di Xiulan: “…”
Di Xiulan said, “You often call this king that.”
“Not that often. It’s kind of mortifying…”
Ye Piaoling covered her mouth, laughing until she trembled like a flower in the wind. “Babe, what were you asking me just now?”