Chapter 1
Chapter 1
“Oh? You found out?”
The ravishing beauty toyed with an ornate hairpin as he spoke in a low voice.
No–not a ravishing beauty. A ravishing man.
If not for the glacial look in his eyes, that languid, intimate cadence would have sounded like a lover whispering sweet nothings.
Shengsheng Zhou stared at the walking calamity before her.
She could hardly believe that the Noble Consort she had served for years was a man!
“In consideration of your many years of service, you may end your own life.” The man reclining across the consort’s couch flicked one hand impatiently and tossed a sword onto the floor before the girl.
Dressed in a palace maid’s gown, Shengsheng knelt there trembling, tears brimming in her eyes. She looked pitiful enough to melt a heart of stone.
“Your Highness, please spare this servant. I have served you for so many years. I don’t want to die. Please, Your Highness, have mercy.”
She knocked her forehead against the floor. Blood soon welled from her smooth brow and trickled down her cheek. With her red-rimmed, tearful eyes, she made an especially heartrending sight.
The man’s heart might as well have been forged from iron. Not a trace of pity stirred in him. He merely lifted his eyelids, irritated by the noise.
Meanwhile, Shengsheng was cheering inside.
*Wonderful! I finally made it to my ending. Come on, you damned ladyboy–say goodbye to your granddaddy, then thank me while you’re at it!*
*Thank me for waiting on you day and night, only to be forced to slit my own throat in the end!*
[Congratulations, Host. You finally survived long enough to reach your character’s ending!]
A chubby little red panda popped into existence and flew an excited circle in front of Fusheng Duan.
[Well, no wonder the emperor is hopelessly obsessed with him. Just look at that face. Wow.]
The indolence vanished from Fusheng’s expression without a ripple. His pupils contracted, and, for once, confusion surfaced in his eyes.
Who was speaking?
And what in the world was that thing flying around in front of him?
An ending? A villain?
That treasonous tirade had unmistakably been spoken in the maid’s voice. Yet she was right under his nose, and her lips had never moved.
Was he hallucinating?
Alarmed by the System’s recklessness, Shengsheng called inwardly, *A-Pang, get back here!*
The System called A-Pang waved dismissively at Shengsheng, who was still kneeling below and shaking like a leaf.
[Don’t be afraid. He can’t see me.]
[Shengsheng, hurry up and kill yourself. It’s time for us to leave.]
*All right.*
Her face wet with tears and snot, Shengsheng picked up the sword before her. She raised her sorrowful little face and gave Fusheng one last, lingering look.
“Your Highness, it has been this servant’s blessing to serve you. If there is a next life, I will gladly be your beast of burden again.”
With that, she placed the blade against her neck.
Just as she was about to press down, a gust carrying the distinctive incense of Qianyi Palace brushed her cheek. Her wrist jolted. Shengsheng’s eyes flew open in disbelief.
The sword had vanished from her hand. In its place, a face beautiful enough to bewitch the soul hovered inches from hers.
Fusheng studied her features. At best, she could be called delicate.
Then a devastating smile curved his lips. The malice in his next words made Shengsheng shiver despite herself.
“I have changed my mind. You may continue serving as my beast of burden.”
He intended to find out exactly what kind of demons these two were.
Silence fell. Only the crackle of sparks in the brazier remained.
Girl and red panda exchanged a furtive glance. The same disbelief shone in both their eyes.
*Was this… in the original? Wasn’t I supposed to kick the bucket right now, reset perfectly to before I entered the palace, farm a little, start a business, casually pick up an amnesiac prince, and live happily ever after?*
*What kind of stunt is that damned ladyboy Fusheng Duan trying to pull?!*
The “damned ladyboy” himself summoned every scrap of self-control he possessed to contain his fury.
He did not know what *ladyboy* meant, but one thing was perfectly clear: this audacious little creature was cursing him inside her head.
A-Pang looked just as baffled. They sank out of the air altogether.
[But in the original novel, *A Consort of Matchless Beauty*, Shengsheng Zhou was supposed to be silenced immediately after discovering the great villain Fusheng Duan’s true sex. That’s definitely what happened!]
A-Pang spun several circles in place, clutching their head and muttering in confusion.
This world came from a novel called *A Consort of Matchless Beauty*, a perfect specimen of old-school melodrama into which every imaginable romantic cliché had been crammed.
It told the story of the heroine, Zhiyu Jiang, and her tangled romances with powerful men from all three kingdoms.
Even Fusheng Duan–the novel’s greatest villain, a mercurial killer who first disguised himself as a woman and later single-handedly threw the three kingdoms into chaos–was eventually redeemed by the heroine. He withdrew from the struggle for power and retired to the countryside.
In this turbulent world, mighty factions were rising and conspiracies lurked beneath a veneer of peace.
Shengsheng Zhou was neither the kind, long-suffering heroine nor some vicious supporting woman.
The original novel had not even given her a name.
That was right.
She had transmigrated into the body of Fusheng Duan’s chief palace maid–the cannon fodder of cannon fodder.
She had been inserted into this world because someone had made her an offer. The body’s original owner, weary of being so insignificant, had abandoned her role. If Shengsheng completed the plot in her place, she would be sent back to a point before this body entered the palace. There, in an era about to descend into war, she would be given a sanctuary where she could build a peaceful life.
Shengsheng, formerly a wandering ghost, had agreed without hesitation.
Who could have known that everything would go wrong at the very end?
*To hell with it. I have to die today! For my amnesiac prince–no, wait… for a next life in which no one controls me. For freedom!*
Bracing one hand against the floor, Shengsheng launched herself at Fusheng.
*Take that, you obsessive clean freak. If this doesn’t disgust you to death, nothing will!*
Her angle and timing should both have been flawless.
Yet she hit nothing.
She landed on all fours across the couch. Head raised, she stared blankly at the man beside her.
Could someone please explain where Fusheng Duan–who would sooner lie down than sit and usually behaved as if his spine were broken–had acquired such nimble reflexes?
“What extraordinary nerve you have.” A pale hand emerged from his sleeve and lightly brushed his hem. His tone was unhurried.
Shengsheng seized the opening. “This servant was wrong! Please punish me, Your Highness!”
Inside, she screamed, *Get on with it! Aren’t you supposed to be a cold-blooded mass murderer? Hurry up and execute the wretched maid who dared touch your precious body!*
Very well.
The cold-blooded mass murderer with the precious body curved his lips. A vivid smile bloomed across his beautiful features.
What he said, however, was, “Tail, in recognition of your unwavering loyalty, I sentence you to scrub chamber pots for three months.”
He bit down hard on the words *unwavering loyalty*. Had Shengsheng possessed any less faith in her acting, she might have suspected he had seen through her.
A-Pang, floating beside her, suddenly realized something. Biting their thumb, they asked, [Host, why did he call you Tail? That name sounds oddly familiar.]
Shengsheng went rigid.
Never underestimate the memory of a palace maid who had spent years serving the most notoriously difficult master in the imperial palace.
Three years ago, the emperor had gifted Fusheng a rare pure-black horse capable of traveling a thousand miles a day.
Even in the presence of the ruler of the realm, Fusheng had remained his usual languid self. He had casually named that priceless horse A-Wei–*wei* as in “tail.”
That same year, someone presented an even rarer blue ox to the emperor. The emperor, who doted on his beloved consort beyond all reason, promptly passed it along to Fusheng.
Until then, Shengsheng had thought blue oxen existed only in legends.
When Fusheng noticed her staring at the animal, he graciously allowed her to name it. Thus was born the magnificently lazy name Xiao-Ba.
The charge presented to the throne had been suitably grave: *A lowly servant dared name an ox bestowed by Your Majesty.* The emperor used it as a pretext to have her beaten ten strokes.
Naturally, the incident had branded itself into her memory.
And now the two names had come back to haunt her: Wei. Ba.
*Weiba.* Tail.
Wonderful.
She had acquired a new name.
Tail.
Ha. Ha.
She really was going to spend the rest of her life as his beast of burden.