Chapter 5

Chapter 5

That night, I originally had something to tell him.

I was pregnant.

But Xiao Jing’s calls and messages had turned that joy into a burst bubble. More than that, they had caused my relationship with Su Kai to drop to freezing point once again.

A week later, a child at school accidentally fell down the stairs, leaving his head covered in blood.

I happened to be passing by and, without a second thought, I scooped the child up and rushed him to the school infirmary.

By that afternoon, a dull ache began in my lower abdomen, and blood started to flow.

I kept calling Su Kai, but he never picked up. I was so close to fainting from the pain that my panicked colleagues rushed me to the hospital themselves.

The baby couldn’t be saved.

The doctor said the pregnancy had been unstable from the start and the embryo quality wasn’t good, so it was perhaps for the best that it ended this way.

Lying on the cold hospital bed, I dialed Su Kai’s number again.

The phone rang for a long time, but no one answered.

Since it was a natural miscarriage, the doctor prescribed some medicine and sent me home.

On the way back, sitting in a taxi, the physical discomfort made me feel stifled and miserable. To distract myself, I opened my phone and started scrolling through short videos.

Recently, videos about “Wang Baochuan digging for wild vegetables” seemed to be incredibly popular.

People were filming one comedy skit after another, and the comment sections were full of people talking about how terrifying a “love brain” could be.

Even the taxi driver, an older woman, chimed in when she heard the audio from my phone.

“Young lady, tell me, what was that Wang Baochuan thinking? It’s not like there are no other men in the world, right? It’s one thing for her parents to suffer along with her, but even the mountain she lived on was unlucky. She ate wild vegetables for eighteen years-ha! She picked that mountain bald. Those poor vegetables; do they have it easy, growing up all on their own?”

After saying this, she burst into laughter.

I started laughing, too.

The driver got even more excited and continued chatting with me through the rearview mirror. “This ‘love brain’ thing really is scary… Eh? Young lady, what’s wrong?”

I reached up and haphazardly wiped away the tears that wouldn’t stop falling, forcing my lips into a smile.

“Nothing, you’re just too funny… I’m laughing so hard I’m crying.”

“Haha, there’s tissues on the back of the seat, help yourself.”

I pulled out a tissue and turned my head, only to catch a glimpse of myself reflected in the car window.

A plain, messy ponytail, a haggard face, a resentful expression, bloodshot eyes, and a face covered in tears.

Was this still me?

Was this still the Lu Shu who had won first prize in the provincial dance competition and shone so brightly on stage?

Was this still the Lu Shu who was always positive, always growing toward the sun?

Was this still the Lu Shu who had won first prize for teaching skills and was hailed as a rising star?

I suddenly seemed to understand why I hadn’t wanted a divorce.

What I couldn’t let go of, what I was obsessed with, was no longer Su Kai.

It was everything I had sacrificed and given up for him.

Just like Wang Baochuan-perhaps she, too, couldn’t let go because she had given up too much. She was unwilling to accept it, so she spent eighteen years obsessively waiting for a result.

Fortunately, I’ve only had six years.

Fortunately… it’s only been six years.