Chapter 65
Chapter 65
[The Male Chauvinist’s Victory – 6]
After waiting at home for only a few days, Liu Che received the emperor’s decree as expected.
Northern Wei and Northern Zhou were advancing fiercely. The Southern Dynasty appointed the veteran general He An commander of its defense, with Mobile Strike General Yan Hongguang as his deputy and several other generals accompanying them. They were ordered to muster two hundred thousand troops and await the enemy in full battle array on the northern bank of the Huai River.
The situation was urgent. Liu Che had no time for romantic entanglements. After giving his brothers a few instructions and sending word to the Li Family, he departed for the military camp with his trusted retainers.
On the day they set out, the emperor personally escorted the generals to the city gate. He raised a cup in toast and wished the army swift victory and a glorious return.
Liu Che arranged his features into tearful gratitude and devotion unto death for his sovereign. He even squeezed out several false tears. Then he turned, his expression sharpening, and thundered, “March!”
The waves behind drove on those ahead. The veteran He An had long heard of Yan Hongguang’s reputation. After meeting him, He An specially summoned him for an examination and lavished praise upon him afterward.
“This is the age of you young men now. Act boldly!”
Liu Che saluted respectfully and thanked him, then returned to his command tent and stared thoughtfully at the camps of the two Northern states.
Northern Wei and Northern Zhou both belonged to the Northern Dynasty, but despite joining forces for this campaign, each harbored its own designs.
The reason was simple: whichever side attacked first would inevitably bear the Southern Dynasty’s fiercest assault. Afraid of weakening themselves, Northern Wei and Northern Zhou had spent these days in minor skirmishes, neither willing to reveal its true strength. That was why the southern campaign had dragged on.
Then there was the question of how to divide the spoils after defeating the Southern soldiers.
Put simply, both sides wanted to eat the meat, but neither wanted to do the work. Thus, they remained deadlocked.
External assistance remained external. It was ultimately different from one’s own ability.
Liu Che did not immediately seek help from his circle of friends. He sat alone in his tent for a long while, studying maps of the north and the enemy dispositions while carefully considering how to break them.
A frontal assault?
That was the worst option.
The Northern states had been founded by Hu peoples and possessed fierce martial customs. The Southern Dynasty had become steeped in literary refinement and neglected its armies. A direct clash would certainly disadvantage the south and inflict severe losses. Even if they won a great victory by luck, they would lose the people’s support.
Another surprise attack like the previous one?
That would not do either.
Northern Qi had lost precisely because of that. With the lesson directly before them, how could Northern Wei and Northern Zhou repeat the same mistake?
Moreover, Northern Qi had been defeated because its young commander greedily pursued merit and advanced too rashly. The commanders of Northern Wei and Northern Zhou were seasoned generals, steady-minded after years of leading armies. They would not make such an error.
Perhaps he could imitate Shi Huang’s method of destroying the State of Zhao: spend heavily to bribe powerful officials in Northern Wei and Northern Zhou, gaining internal support and breaking the enemy from within?
The moment the idea appeared, Liu Che rejected it with a bitter smile.
When Ying Zheng destroyed Zhao by sending men to lobby and bribe Guo Kai, Qin was already the strongest state. Guo Kai saw that Zhao had no hope and only then agreed to defect. The Southern Dynasty could not even stand upright now, and its military strength was declining. Its enemies could scarcely wait to take a bite. Why would they accept a bribe and withdraw?
One careless step would be like carrying firewood to extinguish a blaze. It would resemble the six states endlessly ceding cities to Qin: the more they surrendered, the sooner they died.
In any case, such a decision was not his to make as a mere lower-fifth-rank Mobile Strike General.
Liu Che stroked his chin and paced several circuits around the tent without finding an answer. Seeing him worry himself bald, his old companions in the space laughed gleefully at his misfortune.
Zhu Yuanzhang asked, “Zhi’er, need some outside assistance?”
Liu Che paused. “You have a solution?”
Emperor Gaozu said, “Zhi’er is different from us. He isn’t a genius. Kong him!”
Ying Zheng leisurely threw down two kings, smiled faintly, and pushed out the last card in his hand.
Li Shimin: “…”
Emperor Gaozu: “…”
Damn it, we lost!
That cursed pig-this is all your fault!
Liu Che tentatively extended a foot. “Could one of my brothers offer a small hint?”
Li Shimin: “Get lost!”
Emperor Gaozu: “Trash has no place in this group!”
Liu Che raged, “Personal attacks are going too far! How is it my fault you lost at cards? You’re simply terrible players!”
Only Zhu Yuanzhang gave him a sympathetic glance and lovingly uttered one word.
“Water.”
Water?
Of course-water!
Understanding dawned on Liu Che like blue sky appearing after the clouds parted. He turned and stared with gleaming eyes toward the camps of Northern Wei and Northern Zhou. Before long, he had a plan.
He summoned several trusted subordinates. “Do any of you know someone exceptionally persuasive? He must also possess considerable courage.”
They exchanged puzzled looks, not knowing why he asked. After considering, one who had once been a wandering hero replied, “Master Qu Guangqi possesses great talent and no lack of courage. He lives not far from here, but…”
“But what?” Liu Che asked.
Another trusted subordinate answered, “Qu Guangqi’s great-grandaunt was the mother of Emperor Yingzong. Her elder brother once served as General-in-Chief and wielded power throughout court and country while Empress Dowager Qu acted as regent. Later, he committed treason and rebelled, an unforgivable crime. The clan was spared extermination only because of Empress Dowager Qu, but no later descendant of the Qu Family has ever held office.”
Liu Che dismissed the matter. “I merely need someone to help carry out my plan. I am not recommending him for office. Where is he now? Invite him at once!”
“No.” The moment he finished, Liu Che changed his mind. Too much depended upon this. If Qu Guangqi’s reputation exceeded his ability, the later plan might collapse. “I will go personally and test his quality.”
Qu Guangqi lived nearby. Liu Che reported to He An, then traveled lightly to the Qu residence.
When Empress Dowager Qu was alive, the Qu Family’s glory had stood second only to the imperial house. But times had changed, and few horses or carriages visited their gates. The swallows that once nested before the halls of Wang and Xie now flew into ordinary homes.
Reaching the gate, Liu Che dismounted and knocked personally. A young servant emerged. Seeing his distinguished clothes, the boy dared not neglect him. He bowed respectfully. “May I ask the honored visitor’s name?”
“I am Mobile Strike General Yan Hongguang. I have come today on urgent business. Is Master Qu Guangqi at home?”
As soon as he spoke, a puzzled man’s voice came from the courtyard. “Who has come?”
The boy turned. “Master, he says he is Mobile Strike General Yan Hongguang.”
“Ah, General Yan has come in person. Quickly, invite him inside.”
The boy moved aside. Liu Che stepped across the threshold and saw that both open plots in the courtyard had been cultivated, though the season had left them bare.
Cabbages and radishes lay on the stone steps. A rectangular vegetable cellar had been half excavated in the courtyard. Before Liu Che arrived, Qu Guangqi had presumably been digging it with the boy to store vegetables for winter.
Qu Guangqi was about forty and of average height. Perhaps because recent years had treated him poorly, frost already touched his temples. Yet his manner was broad-minded and composed. He showed no shame or awkwardness at the decline of his once-great clan.
Liu Che could not help admiring him. After exchanging greetings between equals, he followed Qu Guangqi inside to talk.
The Qu Family lived in poverty, as the room’s furnishings made plain. Thread and needles lay in a sewing basket, while several half-open books rested on the table. Liu Che saw a curtain shift in the inner room and guessed Qu Guangqi’s wife and children were there.
He did not hurry to explain his purpose, and Qu Guangqi did not ask. Instead, Qu Guangqi went into the courtyard, cut a radish in half, and handed it to him. Sitting opposite one another, they casually discussed current affairs.
Liu Che’s subordinate had spoken truly. Qu Guangqi was destined for greater things, a man of immense talent who had tragically never been given a chance to prove himself.
Liu Che’s body was young, but within lived an ancient monster of unknown years. Qu Guangqi’s speech was casual at first. Soon, however, he became serious, sat upright, and treated every question and answer with great solemnity.
At first, a small child’s whispers sounded from the inner room. After a woman softly scolded him several times, the room fell quiet too.
Only Liu Che’s old companions remained restless, playing cards while joking, “Zhi’er, stop crunching. Too much radish makes you fart. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.”
“…” Liu Che: “Get lost!”
The two men spent an entire hour eating one radish. At last, Liu Che bowed to him solemnly. Qu Guangqi returned the bow, bade farewell to his family, and agreed to accompany Liu Che to the military camp.
Liu Che had brought gold and silver. He now had it placed on the table, and Qu Guangqi did not refuse. His wife packed his luggage and quietly instructed, “Be careful on the road. Take good care of yourself.”
Qu Guangqi laughed heartily. “Don’t worry. Wait for my return!”
Only after they left and rode together toward the camp did he sigh. “My wife is virtuous. Had she not married me, she would never have suffered so much.”
His great-grandaunt had been an empress dowager, and his grandfather a powerful statesman. He had enjoyed wealth and honor in childhood. That he could now remain content in poverty was rare indeed.
Calculating Qu Guangqi’s age, Liu Che asked, “Was your marriage arranged long ago, Master Qu?”
“It was,” Qu Guangqi replied. “After the palace coup destroyed the Qu Family, I did not wish to burden her and went to break off the engagement. She stubbornly refused and has shared this hard life with me for all these years…”
Liu Che nodded. “Madam Qu is a loyal and steadfast woman, truly worthy of respect.”
“I only wonder whether I can astonish the world with one great deed and win wealth and honor for her.”
Liu Che smiled. “If this succeeds, wealth will certainly be no problem. As for honor, that will depend upon Heaven.”
Qu Guangqi chuckled. Looking back, he saw the attendants following far enough behind that they could not hear. Only then did he say, “I see that the general is a hero of this age, a man destined for greatness. Today you may grant me wealth; perhaps one day you will grant me rank as well.”
Liu Che merely smiled and said nothing.
…
Now that he had the man he needed, Liu Che no longer hesitated. After a month of planning and a report to He An, he personally led a cavalry force north. They bypassed Northern Wei’s sentries and headed toward the mountains in the northwest.
The two Northern states were watching for him to launch a surprise attack, but their sentries could patrol only a limited area. How could they imagine that although he led troops north, he would never approach Northern Wei’s camp and instead travel much farther beyond it?
The Huai River region was rich in waterways. Recent weather had grown warm, frequent rains had fallen, and the rivers had swollen into violent torrents.
Northern Zhou had marched south before Northern Wei and established its camp on high ground safe from flooding. Arriving later, Northern Wei had been disadvantaged and forced to camp in a low-lying area, suffering its first quiet loss before battle began.
Northern Wei’s commander had sent men to negotiate, hoping Northern Zhou would move aside and surrender enough ground for his army to camp. Northern Zhou’s commander cursed him without a moment’s thought.
Go screw your mother!
Did you think our tents grew from the ground without labor?
More than a hundred thousand soldiers have already settled here, and now you suddenly demand that we move. Have you considered how much food and fodder that would consume?
Do you imagine us saints whose holy light shines upon the earth?
Thus, even before the southern expedition formally began, resentment had grown between the two Northern states.
Upon hearing his spies’ report, Liu Che formed a plan. He selected a clever confidant and had him lead a small squad in secret. Dressed as Northern Wei soldiers, they seized one of Northern Zhou’s supply wagons. Before Northern Zhou could react, they changed into Zhou uniforms and killed several isolated Wei soldiers.
The incidents were not large, but they mixed sand into an already unhappy alliance. Senior commanders understood that matters must not be allowed to escalate. The common soldiers were less restrained.
Although the armies occupied separate camps, they were close enough to support one another. Both states wished to preserve their strength and refused to attack the Southern Dynasty first. As they lingered together, conflicts and friction inevitably increased. With spies among them fanning every spark, the situation began slipping out of control.
Half a month passed. The rains grew heavier, and Liu Che judged that preparations around the Northern camps were sufficient. Only then did he personally lead his army north and divert the rain-swollen river to flood Northern Wei’s camp.
At the same time, Qu Guangqi boarded a small boat and entered Northern Zhou’s camp alone.
Rain had fallen frequently of late, and Northern Wei’s soldiers had grown accustomed to its sound. Yet the water sounded exceptionally loud that night-and unusually harsh.
A dark premonition suddenly seized Northern Wei’s battle-hardened commander. He rose and stepped outside his tent to investigate. Water surged from the north like a wild horse breaking its reins. Remembering the location of his camp, he felt as though struck by lightning.
“Beat the drums and sound the horns!” he roared. “The entire army is to seek temporary refuge at Northern Zhou’s camp!”
They were, after all, flimsy allies temporarily united against the Southern Dynasty. Northern Wei’s commander assumed Northern Zhou would not begrudge his men a place to stand. Yet when his panicked soldiers reached the other camp, they found its troops arrayed for battle, baring fangs at yesterday’s ally.
It was a winter night. Many Wei soldiers had fled the flood without weapons or even proper winter clothing. How could men in such disarray resist Zhou soldiers who had prepared in advance?
Northern Wei suffered a catastrophic defeat that night. Of one hundred and fifty thousand soldiers who fled in panic, fewer than fifty thousand survived.
Northern Zhou and the Southern Dynasty pressed forward together, stripping Northern Wei to the bone and devouring it clean. After plundering the Wei borderlands, they belched contentedly and withdrew to their respective countries before the main Wei army could arrive.
The Tuoba clan of Northern Wei had dominated the north for years, its power faintly suppressing Northern Qi and Northern Zhou. It had seldom suffered such a terrible defeat in decades. Losing more than one hundred thousand troops gravely damaged its strength.
Having one leg broken by the Southern Dynasty, which it had always bullied, was deeply humiliating. But Northern Zhou’s betrayal of its ally was even more hateful!
Enraged by the news, the Northern Wei emperor immediately sent a diplomatic letter to Northern Zhou filled from beginning to end with curses. Northern Zhou was thick-skinned enough to accept it and shamelessly send a reply.
So sorry, Big Brother. Our apologies. Next time you want to attack the Southern Dynasty, your little brother will still come help.
None of us wanted this to happen.
We meant to sternly rebuke the Southern envoy, but the future he described was simply too tempting. Your little brother couldn’t resist taking one bite out of Big Brother…
Heh. Delicious!
The Northern Wei emperor: “…”
Treacherous bastard, screw your mother!!!