Chapter 180
Chapter 180
[Rebellion Beats Harem Intrigue – 1]
Zhu Qizhen could no longer remember how many times he had died. He remembered being chickens, ducks, oxen, and horses, all ending beneath a blade and returning to the Yellow Springs.
At first, he served as meat for imperial dishes. Later, ordinary households slaughtered and ate him. Damn it, he had even been a wild pheasant, caught, plucked, and roasted. Misery hardly described it.
Back in their territory, Zhu Yuanzhang and Zhu Di watched Zhu Qizhen reincarnate again and again through the mortal mirror. At last, the anger lodged in Zhu Yuanzhang’s chest dispersed.
It was time to leave.
Zhu Yuanzhang slipped from the Underworld. Zhu Di, who had watched him closely, rolled his eyes and followed without alerting anyone.
When his father was about to vanish along a beam of light, Zhu Di knew the moment had come. He leaped onto his back and clung tightly around his neck.
A young son riding his father’s back was family joy. A son more than a hundred years old, nearly a demon, riding his father was another matter.
Zhu Yuanzhang’s face turned green. “Bastard, get down!”
Zhu Di refused. “Father, I cannot bear to leave you! Wherever you go, I will serve beside you and bring tea and water!”
Zhu Yuanzhang was speechless.
Thus ended the life. Zhu Yuanzhang returned to the space and, as a buy-one-get-one bonus, brought Zhu Di.
Zhu Di had not expected others there. He and his father had been locked in confrontation while leaving the Underworld, but before outsiders they became father and son united in battle.
He silently climbed down and assumed a solemn, imposing bearing. Zhu Yuanzhang felt embarrassed at being tricked by his son. Without changing expression or beating him, he glared and introduced him to his old companions.
“A child grows bored staying in the Underworld, so I brought him to broaden his horizons.”
He added, “Our Fourth.”
Liu Che looked interested. “Your Fourth… Oh, Judy?!”
Zhu Yuanzhang and Zhu Di fell silent.
The other emperors exchanged meaningful, entertained looks.
Zhu Di frowned and checked his father’s face before choosing his attitude. “Father?”
“This is Liu Che, Son of Heaven of the Han. Call him Zhi’er.”
“Hey!” Liu Che protested. “You may call me that. Why can your son?!”
“What else? Dead phoenix man?!” Zhu Yuanzhang snapped.
Liu Che retorted, “Piss and look at your donkey face first!”
Zhu Yuanzhang rolled up his sleeves. Zhu Di pressed his shoulders, sent his father to rest, and entered battle in his place.
“Father and son in battle indeed. Think I lack your dirt?” Liu Che lifted his chin. “I hear you had a Mongol moonlight love and fled your wedding for her?!”
Zhu Di exploded. “Bullshit! The Empress and I were childhood sweethearts. She entered my mother’s care at twelve. What Mongol love? What flight from marriage?!”
Zhu Yuanzhang raged too. “Lady Xu was Xu Da’s daughter, chosen by his father. He dared flee? I would smash his skull!”
Liu Che spread his hands. “Later generations say so. I only happened to hear it!”
“Who spread such nonsense? I had nine children, seven by the Empress. Does that prove nothing?!”
Liu Che looked surprised. “What? Did the Jingnan Campaign not injure you and make you impotent?!”
Zhu Di could bear no more. “I’ll damned well…”
Liu Che laughed and fled as white mist surged through the space.
Zhu Di chased, but Liu Che vanished. Grabbing blindly, he caught a square of white silk.
“What is this? It has writing…”
The emperors and Zhu Yuanzhang crowded around.
Zhu Di unfolded it and read.
“After Maozhu’er’s parents died, her uncle sold her into a brothel. The day she was dragged inside, Madam Xue lifted her chin with a pipe and clicked her tongue. Snowy skin, flowerlike beauty, naturally seductive-this child was born to steal souls.
“At sixteen, Maozhu’er received her first client during the Lantern Festival. Unexpectedly, the incomparably noble man was the Crown Prince. More astonishing still, the proud and elegant heir lost his soul to a prostitute, brought her into the Eastern Palace, and ultimately raised her in glory as Empress…”
Zhu Di fell silent.
Then his eyes widened.
A few lines dealt him an unprecedented shock!
“What is this?!”
His worldview collapsed. “An uncle sells his niece into a brothel-is he shameless or inhuman?! If he could sell his own niece there, the family must be pissing blood from poverty. How could such a household raise a snowy-skinned beauty?! Does the writer understand logic or common life? A few years washing clothes by the river and growing frostbite on both hands would cure such idiocy!”
“And the rest is even more damned absurd!”
His face twisted. “Who is the Crown Prince? He can choose nearly any woman beneath Heaven. People would send them to him. Why seek out someone dirty? And make her Empress?! Make a prostitute Empress? Are the censors dead? Is the Empress Dowager dead? Has the ancestral tomb exploded?!”
He turned and saw Zhu Yuanzhang and the emperors utterly calm.
“Something this absurd, and none of you sees a problem?! You are not surprised?!”
Pulling his hair, Zhu Di looked small and helpless. “Am I too feudal and stubborn? Too old-fashioned?!”
He imagined himself in the situation. “The Crown Prince… forget him. Suppose another prince says, Father, I do not want a noble lady. I would ask whether he wants a respectable girl from an ordinary family. Fine-the Great Ming does not emphasize the background of empresses and princess consorts. What an understanding father I am! Then he says he wants a prostitute as princess consort…”
Zhu Di stopped, expression unreadable.
Zhu Yuanzhang produced sunflower seeds from nowhere. “And then?”
The emperors fell silent, then quietly turned aside to laugh. Old Zhu’s son was entertaining.
Their calm confused Zhu Di. He tugged his father’s sleeve. “Am I too decadent? New arrivals in the Underworld say it is a new society and old ideas must be abolished…”
Zhu Yuanzhang patted his son’s head. “You are not decadent. Even in later ages, respectable families cannot accept a prostitute as a daughter-in-law.”
Emperor Gaozu pointed. “There is more.”
Zhu Di frowned and read on.
“All the capital knew the Marquis of Weining had lost his senses over a trained courtesan from Yangzhou and neglected his lawful wife. Later, because the marchioness harmed his beloved concubine, he issued her a divorce letter…”
Zhu Di raged. “What is this thing?! A matching set with the Crown Prince? Can there be one normal married couple?! Damn it!”
He spat and continued. “The Zhou Family produced dukes for four generations. Its eldest daughter was Crown Princess, the second a marchioness, and the third remained unmarried. Noble suitors crowded the capital, yet Third Miss Zhou threw an embroidered ball and married an ordinary-looking beggar. No one imagined she would keep faith in a cold cave for eighteen years, trading eighteen years of youth for eighteen days as Empress…”
Question marks filled Zhu Di’s head. “Why would such a noble third daughter marry a beggar? Does that not make the Crown Prince and a beggar brothers-in-law?”
Emperor Gaozu said calmly, “All things follow fate. It is not utterly impossible, is it?”
Zhu Di stared. “The Zhou Family did nothing? Then the Crown Prince and that marquis became brothers-in-law with a beggar!”
Ying Zheng said indifferently, “Normal operation. Nothing surprising.”
Zhu Di covered his mouth in shock.
With his final hope, he turned to Li Shimin. “Something is wrong, surely. Even if choosing a husband by embroidered ball, the Zhou Family would guard the area. How could a beggar enter and catch it?”
Li Shimin looked puzzled and spread his hands. “Perfectly normal. People can be struck dead by lightning while walking. Why is a noble lady throwing an embroidered ball and marrying a beggar strange?”
Zhu Di clutched his head. “Ah! Aaaah!”
Zhu Yuanzhang asked, “Fourth, what is wrong?”
Zhu Di groaned, “Jianqiu, my head hurts so much!”