Chapter 24

Chapter 24

[Prince Consort, the Princess Has Been Beaten to Death – 23]

Lü Xiuzhen remained at the Lü Family for only one night. After speaking with his father, he left the study and prepared to return to the Princess Manor.

Madam Lü felt sorry for her son. When she learned what was happening, she complained to her husband, “Look at Xiuzhen’s face. After a whole night, the swelling is even worse, and that handprint is still glaringly clear. You can imagine how hard the princess struck him. It is bad enough that his own father will not side with him, but now you are pushing him back into the fire!”

“Enough!” the Patriarch of the Lü Family snapped, his expression stern. “You are an outsider to the affair. Do you imagine you understand right and wrong better than Xiuzhen himself? He has undergone his capping ceremony and is an adult. He knows which road he ought to take!”

Caught by surprise, Madam Lü’s expression froze for several moments before she erupted. “Why are you shouting? You have grown tired of me, have you not? Lü Mingjing, now that my family has declined, you think you can show me whatever face you please?!” With that, she began to wail again.

The night was deep, and the faint howl of a cold wind came from beyond the windows.

The study was silent except for the woman’s broken sobs and the occasional crackle of the candlewick.

The Patriarch of the Lü Family sat wearily in his chair and lowered his gaze. At some point, pale dark age spots had spread across the back of his hand. Like his face, it too was marked with lines of varying depth.

He was already past fifty. How could he remain the same as in his youth?

Madam Lü continued to cry, cursing him between sobs for having no conscience. She said that now her natal family had fallen, her husband looked down on her like a snobbish cur and no longer held her in any regard. After muttering through these complaints, she returned to lamenting her bitter fate, and so on without end.

“My grandfather lived to sixty-one. My father died at fifty-seven. How many years can I have left?”

The Patriarch of the Lü Family’s face filled with sorrow, and tears suddenly flowed. “Xiuzhen’s elder brother holds a post far from the capital. His talents are mediocre, and even preserving what he inherited will be difficult. Xiuzhen behaves like this, and you are as you are. While I live, I can barely support the family. When I die and every road is exhausted, what will become of you?”

His words were so sorrowful and carried such an ominous air that Madam Lü stared blankly for several moments. Then, clutching her handkerchief, she said bitterly, “Who are you trying to frighten? How are we anywhere near the end of every road?!”

The Patriarch of the Lü Family said nothing more. Bracing one hand against the desk, he slowly rose and left alone.

…

It was already late when Lü Xiuzhen returned to the Princess Manor. After the farce of the previous night’s quarrel, he did not present himself before Princess Qinghe. He went quietly to the side room to rest and caused no disturbance.

Princess Qinghe had not yet retired. When Court Lady Du received the news, she naturally mentioned it to her.

“If he has returned, then so be it. He is my Prince Consort, after all. We must at least preserve appearances.”

Princess Qinghe loosened her hair and sat before the mirror for a while before adding, “It is late today. Go see him tomorrow and sound out his intentions. If he still wishes to continue this marriage, then we will muddle through it as we are. Once I am fully recovered and the mark on his face is no longer visible, we will enter the palace together to pay respects to Father and Mother. We have delayed for so many days that it is truly becoming improper.”

Court Lady Du answered respectfully, “Yes.”

Since Lü Xiuzhen had returned, he naturally did not wish to create further trouble. He was, after all, a son of the Lü Family, and his father truly was growing old. If his conflict with Princess Qinghe became irreconcilable, the Lü Family alone would suffer in the end. His parents had raised him for twenty years. Even if he could bring no glory to them, he could not bring them disgrace.

Princess Qinghe and Lü Xiuzhen reached a subtle understanding. Before others, they would be a proper married couple; in private, each would live separately, neither obstructing the other. As for what the future might bring, they would take it one step at a time.

Three days passed in this fashion. The mark on Lü Xiuzhen’s face faded, and Princess Qinghe fully recovered. They changed into formal robes and sent their tablets ahead to the palace, requesting permission to pay respects to the Emperor and Empress.

The palace naturally granted the request.

Princess Qinghe missed Consort Xian of the Han Clan and rose exceptionally early that day. After washing, applying her makeup, and having the servants dress her, she ate a little breakfast. Then someone announced from outside that the Prince Consort had arrived.

Princess Qinghe paused briefly, then ordered that he be admitted.

Lü Xiuzhen wore a sapphire-blue everyday robe fastened with a leather belt. His face was as fine as carved jade, his bearing genuinely outstanding. Yet Princess Qinghe looked at him for only an extra moment before turning away. She rinsed her mouth with tea and prepared to leave.

Since this was her first return to the palace after marriage, Princess Qinghe had dressed in especially bright colors. Beneath her Xiangfei-pink palace skirt embroidered with lotus blossoms, she wore a lustrous white inner robe. A scarlet cloak patterned with immortal cranes hung beside the blue-phoenix-shaped brazier. Two maids took it down, and Court Lady Du personally draped it over her shoulders and tied the cords.

She rarely wore such vivid colors. After the days surrounding her wedding, she generally dressed with quiet elegance. The sudden change was striking: snow-bright skin, a flowerlike face, and luminous beauty that made every eye brighten.

Lü Xiuzhen’s gaze lingered for an instant. He quickly recovered and looked uncomfortably around the room. Then he noticed a book lying half-open on a small table nearby. He crossed over for a glance and asked in surprise, “Does the princess also enjoy Mr. Sima’s writings on rhapsody?”

In the past, the single word “also” would have made Princess Qinghe feel that she had found a kindred spirit and eager to discuss the subject with her husband. Now, she had no desire to do so. She merely acknowledged him and said, “It is nearly time. Let us go.”

Lü Xiuzhen’s expression shifted. He pressed his lips together and followed her.

Princess Qinghe rode in a palanquin while Lü Xiuzhen entered the palace on horseback. After passing through layer upon layer of announcements, they arrived at the gates of Empress Miao’s Fengyi Palace.

Princess Qinghe descended from the palanquin. Lü Xiuzhen was already waiting before it. With perfect composure, she linked one arm through his. Her smile was serene, her gaze tender, and her delicate fragrance drifted toward him.

Lü Xiuzhen’s body stiffened. They entered the inner hall together. Only when Princess Qinghe withdrew her arm did he breathe more easily, though somewhere beneath the relief lingered an indistinct sense of loss.

After her marriage, a princess returning to the palace had to pay respects to the Empress first. Consort Xian of the Han Clan had not seen her beloved daughter for a long time and missed her terribly. After rising and eating breakfast that morning, she went to Fengyi Palace. When an attendant announced the arrival of the princess and Prince Consort, undisguised urgency filled her eyes as she stared toward the doorway. The instant she saw them in person, her eyes stung and tears fell.
Empress Miao smiled and consoled her. “Look at you. Jingrou has finally come back, and already you are shedding tears. The child will only feel sad when she sees you.”

Consort Xian of the Han Clan hurriedly wiped her eyes and smiled through her tears. “Your Majesty is right. This subject-concubine was foolish.”

Empress Miao turned to examine Princess Qinghe. Seeing her rosy complexion and radiant face, with a hint of a smile between her brows, the Empress nodded in satisfaction. “Your spirits look excellent. You even seem to have gained a little weight.”

Consort Xian of the Han Clan rose from her seat, stepped forward, and took her daughter’s hand. After studying her carefully for a moment, she too said with relief, “She does look very well.”

Remembering that her daughter and the Prince Consort seemed to have entered the hall arm in arm, she assumed the young couple enjoyed a happy marriage. “I have waited so many days. Now that I have seen you with my own eyes, I can finally set my heart at ease.”

Only then did Lü Xiuzhen understand why Princess Qinghe had drawn close to him after leaving her palanquin.

Princess Qinghe was the person Empress Miao and Consort Xian of the Han Clan cared for most. Only after examining her from head to toe did they turn to Lü Xiuzhen, question him carefully, and offer another round of encouragement and instruction.

Empress Miao asked Court Lady Du, “Is everything well in the Princess Manor? It is not only I who worry. His Majesty misses his beloved daughter as well. He fears that after leaving the palace in marriage, some blind fool might cause her grievance.”

Lü Xiuzhen’s heart leaped into his throat. Afraid Court Lady Du might say something she should not, he watched her without blinking. Court Lady Du performed a perfectly proper salute and replied, “All is well. This servant watches over the household, His Majesty supplied three hundred manor guards, and Princess Zhaoyang lives close by. What mishap could occur? Your Majesty may rest easy.”

Lü Xiuzhen secretly breathed a sigh of relief.

Empress Miao said happily, “You have always been steady. I did not entrust her to the wrong person.” She then bestowed additional rewards upon Court Lady Du.

Consort Xian of the Han Clan had missed her daughter for a long time, so Empress Miao did not keep the visitors. She told them to accompany Consort Xian and speak privately, then return after the midday meal.

Consort Xian of the Han Clan thanked her for the favor and led her daughter and son-in-law back to her own palace. They had spoken intimately for a while when a eunuch came from outside to announce that the imperial carriage had arrived. She hurriedly rose to receive the emperor.

The Great An Dynasty had recuperated and built its strength for many years, while the Northern Rong forces in the northwest had begun stirring restlessly. Emperor Gaozu had spent the past several days considering a western campaign. He was so busy from dawn to dusk that his feet scarcely touched the ground. Only when the Director of the Palace Eunuchs told him Princess Qinghe had returned to the palace did he squeeze out enough time to visit her in Consort Xian’s quarters.

At a glance, Princess Qinghe saw stubble growing along her father’s jaw and noticed that his cheeks had grown thinner since her wedding. An emperor had eunuchs to shave him; he had no need to do it himself. If he lacked even the time for that, affairs of state must truly be overwhelming.

She personally brought him tea and said gently, “Affairs of state can never all be finished. Father must not drive himself too hard…”

Emperor Gaozu laughed and looked her over several times. “Your father lacks neither hands nor servants. How could I suffer? I am more concerned about you. Have you lived well since marrying? How does the Prince Consort treat you? Are your parents-in-law easy to get along with?”

“Everything is very well.” Warmth filled Princess Qinghe’s heart. After a slight pause, she added, “My parents-in-law are understanding and reasonable. They are both easy to get along with.”

Emperor Gaozu nodded in satisfaction and had his daughter sit beside him. Consort Xian of the Han Clan knew he was busy and quickly ordered the meal served. Father and daughter spoke as they ate. About half an hour later, a eunuch from Taiji Hall reported that Mr. Liao was waiting outside the Imperial Study to be summoned.

Emperor Gaozu had not sat for long before he had to rise. Princess Qinghe began to stand and see him out, but her father pressed one hand upon her shoulder.

“Do not get up. You have finally come home for a visit. Do not let your father send you rushing about. I came only to see you. Now that I have heard everything is well, I can leave at ease.”

Then he turned to Lü Xiuzhen. “Prince Consort, treat my daughter well. If she suffers the slightest grievance, you had best guard your hide!”

Lü Xiuzhen had no doubt that the threat was genuine. He hurriedly rose and assented. Emperor Gaozu might stop his daughter from escorting him, but he did not stop Lü Xiuzhen. He nodded and strode out.

Princess Qinghe remained in the palace for most of the day. Only when the sun began to set did she bid her mother farewell and leave. After returning to the Princess Manor, she dismissed the servants, seated herself before her dressing table, and said to Lü Xiuzhen, “What passes between us is our own affair. It is enough that we know. We must conceal it before our parents, lest they worry. Today, you accompanied me back to the palace and helped preserve appearances. Another day, I will visit the Lü Family with you and return the favor. We can maintain a civil facade for each other and live this way.”

Lü Xiuzhen gave a sound of agreement. He watched her remove her hairpins before the mirror. Slender and quiet, displaying neither joy nor anger, she did inspire a trace of tenderness. But then he remembered how sharp and overbearing she had been, how she had lied and pretended to be his savior, and how she had slandered Yanyan in every possible way. Most of that tenderness immediately dispersed.

His emotions were complicated, and his hesitation showed. Princess Qinghe seemed to sense it. She turned and asked in surprise, “Why are you still here?”

Lü Xiuzhen’s expression shifted. After hesitating, he stepped closer. “Princess, we should let what happened in the past remain there…”

He reached out to stroke Princess Qinghe’s shoulder. “We cannot keep performing this charade forever.”

Princess Qinghe remembered the brute force with which he had pinned her down several nights ago. Resistance surged through her. She immediately knocked his hand away and said coldly, “Lü Xiuzhen, are you courting death? I told you not to touch me without permission!”

Disgust showed in her expression, mingled with a faint trace of vigilance.

Lü Xiuzhen felt as revolted as though he had bitten into an apricot and found a worm inside.

Speaking gently did not work. Apologizing did not work. He came from a distinguished family and enjoyed a sterling reputation. Noble young ladies throughout Chang’an had always admired him. When had anyone ever regarded him with such disgust?

She avoided him like a plague now, entirely forgetting how attentively she had courted his favor when they first married!

Yanyan would never treat him this way!

Displeasure flared within him. Lü Xiuzhen pressed his lips tight, said nothing, and stormed away with a cold expression.

When he returned to the Lü Family once again, Gao Yanyan remained as gentle and considerate as ever. At the sudden sight of him, delight shone unmistakably on her face. “Lord Lü, you came?”

Her flowerlike smile softened Lü Xiuzhen’s heart. “Did you miss me?”

Gao Yanyan pushed him away shyly. “How hateful. Who asks someone such a question?!”

The coy sweetness in her manner melted half his heart. Remembering the ice-cold Princess Qinghe in the Princess Manor, he gave a sneer, swept Gao Yanyan into his arms, and carried her to the inner room. Lowering his head, he kissed beside her ear. “I missed you too.”
Gao Yanyan cried out, then wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face against his chest.

…

Princess Qinghe knew Lü Xiuzhen had gone to the Lü Family again, but she paid it little mind. The following day, after washing and eating, she left to visit Princess Zhaoyang.

While she was ill, her younger sister had come to see her every day. Now that she had recovered, it was only proper to return the courtesy.

Princess Zhaoyang was delighted to see her sister. The two sat talking for a while before she quietly asked, “How are things with the Prince Consort? Are you getting along?”

Princess Qinghe smiled and brushed the question aside.

The days passed at an unhurried pace. Princess Qinghe returned to the palace once a month and visited the Lü Family as well. From time to time, she went out with Princess Zhaoyang to admire plum blossoms or worship at temples. She also befriended several noble ladies and sent invitations every few days to entertain them. Her life was quite pleasant.

In private, Lü Xiuzhen began an affair with Gao Yanyan. He dared not let Princess Qinghe learn of it and even concealed it from the Patriarch of the Lü Family. He still believed that only by leaving Chang’an could he and Yanyan live openly together. Yet to leave, he could not avoid first securing Princess Qinghe’s cooperation.

For this reason, he restrained his resentment whenever he faced Princess Qinghe and treated her with extraordinary gentleness and care. But before he could soften this stubborn obstacle, Gao Yanyan presented him with an unexpected development.

She was pregnant.

“Lord Lü, what am I to do?”

Gao Yanyan’s face was full of worry. After weeping for a long while, she choked out, “I dare not let anyone know for fear of implicating you. I dare not tell your mother either, because I fear she will not want this child. I beg you. For the sake of what we have shared, and because I once saved your life, please spare mother and child and give us a path to survival…”

“What nonsense are you saying?” Lü Xiuzhen’s expression turned severe. “You are my woman, and the child within you is my own flesh and blood. How could I not care? Do not say such ominous things!”

Gao Yanyan threw herself into his arms and sobbed aloud. “But what can we do? Even if this child is born, there will be no way to give it a proper name and status. What do you expect me to do?!”

Only after leaving Chang’an could he and Yanyan live together. Only by leaving Chang’an and putting the palace far behind him would he have the time and freedom to make further plans.

But how could that be easily accomplished?

Gao Yanyan watched his expression shift again and again, growing increasingly anxious. Through her sobs, she administered a final strong dose. “Lord Lü, you are the only person I can rely upon. If the princess learns the truth, how could I possibly survive?”

Lü Xiuzhen held her tightly in pity. After turning the matter over countless times, he finally made a decision. He led her to Madam Lü. The instant they entered, both dropped to their knees before her. “Mother, please save our lives!”

…

Madam Lü’s face changed drastically when she heard the whole story.

Her son had been married for only four months, yet another woman at his side was already pregnant. Even an ordinary noble family would be displeased with such in-laws, never mind the imperial family and a princess.

“Xiuzhen, have you lost your mind?”

Ignoring Gao Yanyan’s presence, Madam Lü said sharply, “Nothing has happened with the princess yet. How could you allow a concubine to bear a child first? And Lady Gao’s status is no ordinary matter. If word leaks, how will you escape punishment?!”

“No!” Cold light flashed through her eyes. She said decisively, “This child absolutely cannot remain. At least, not now!”

Gao Yanyan trembled beneath her chilling gaze. Seeing this, Lü Xiuzhen pulled her behind him. “Mother, Yanyan saved my life, and the child in her belly is my own flesh and blood. If you mean to harm her, you will have to step over my body first!”

Madam Lü glared at him in bitter disappointment. “You wretched fool! How can you be so muddleheaded?”

Then the full implication struck her, and Madam Lü was genuinely astonished. “You still have not consummated the marriage? But-but it has been more than four months!”

Lü Xiuzhen said coldly, “She refuses. Do I dare force her? If she had me dragged away and beaten to death with clubs, you would find yourself short one son as well!”

Gao Yanyan gazed at him with tearful tenderness. “Lord Lü, why would the princess behave this way?”

“Who knows what goes on in her mind!”

Lü Xiuzhen knew he could not easily escape this marriage. Whether for his career, the Lü Family’s prospects, or the future he hoped to share with Yanyan, he could not do without Princess Qinghe’s help. Over the past four months, he had tried several times to consummate the marriage with her, but she put on airs and refused him to the death. When they first married, she had practically wished to cling to him with her entire body. Now she behaved like a fierce guardian of chastity and would not let him touch so much as one finger.

The thought irritated him, and he could not resist making the most private, malicious conjecture. “Perhaps she found a lover long ago and deliberately avoids me. Who can say?”

Madam Lü had long hoped Princess Qinghe would bear a son. A child would strengthen the connection between the imperial family and the Lü Family and bring back a noble title. The emperor currently had only one grandchild, the Imperial Eldest Grandson, whom he treasured dearly. If another grandson was born through his daughter, he certainly would not treat the child poorly. Hearing that the couple had still not consummated the marriage, how could Madam Lü remain calm?

She still remembered the outer robe Princess Qinghe had specially sewn for Lü Xiuzhen before the wedding. She could not help asking, “Does the princess not hold a grudge far too fiercely? Was she not very fond of you before? She even sewed you a garment stitch by stitch…”

Lü Xiuzhen felt a trace of guilt. In the beginning, Princess Qinghe had indeed treated him exceedingly well. But afterward…

Embarrassment turned to anger. He snorted. “People’s hearts change easily. What can I do about it?”

Madam Lü asked suspiciously, “Could she have transferred her affections to another man in such a short time?”

What else could explain a woman’s refusal to let her husband touch her or consummate their marriage?

Lü Xiuzhen’s face turned green. He said nothing.

The longer Madam Lü considered the idea, the more plausible it seemed. A tiny flame of anger steadily grew within her. After pacing around the inner room several times with a round fan in hand, she finally fixed her gaze on Gao Yanyan.

Gao Yanyan shivered, tears trembling on her lashes. “Madam…”

Madam Lü glanced at her, then at her belly, which had not yet begun to show. Her expression improved slightly. She did not address Gao Yanyan but instead told Lü Xiuzhen, “I will visit the Princess Manor and sound her out. If she refuses to share your bed and does not wish to bear you a child, she still cannot expect you to die without descendants. Where beneath heaven is there such a principle?”
Lü Xiuzhen was greatly relieved that she was willing to intervene. He drew Gao Yanyan with him and saluted. “Thank you, Mother.”

…

Princess Qinghe felt rather weary that day and did not go out. After rising, washing, and eating breakfast, she sat for a while in the waterside pavilion within the manor. Then a servant reported that Madam Lü had arrived to visit.

Though she disliked Lü Xiuzhen, she still held a favorable impression of his parents. Supported by her maids, she went outside the waterside pavilion to welcome Madam Lü. Court Lady Du also hurriedly ordered fragrant tea and fruit served.

Madam Lü had always known her to be gentle and compliant. Seeing Princess Qinghe entertain her so attentively gave her another measure of confidence. After exchanging pleasantries, she indicated that the princess should dismiss the servants, saying that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law ought to share a few private words.

Princess Qinghe readily agreed. She sent the servants beyond the pavilion, leaving only Court Lady Du and two maids long accustomed to attending her personally.

Madam Lü considered her words, then asked in a low voice, “I seem to have heard that even now, the princess has not consummated her marriage with Xiuzhen?”

Princess Qinghe was briefly startled, then nodded. “That is true.”

A troubled expression appeared on Madam Lü’s face. After pausing, she said, “In that case, allow me to ask one more question. When does the princess intend to consummate the marriage with Xiuzhen?”

Princess Qinghe picked a strawberry from the fruit dish beside her. She plucked away its leaves and slowly placed it in her mouth. “I do not know. In any case, I do not wish to at present.”

The lowered lashes and mild, gentle manner gave Madam Lü still greater confidence. She pretended to hesitate and put on a helpless expression before saying uncertainly, “Xiuzhen dares not force the princess, and naturally neither does the Lü Family. We only hope that the princess will be understanding and show us greater consideration…”

Princess Qinghe did not understand. “Oh?”

Madam Lü took her hand, smiled, and said warmly, “The princess has always been virtuous. Surely you would not object if I added another woman to Xiuzhen’s household?”

Only then did Princess Qinghe understand the purpose of all these words. Her heart chilled. Her elegant brows drew together as she pulled her hand free. “Of course I object.”

Madam Lü froze. “What? But-but, Princess…”

Princess Qinghe regarded her calmly, her tone still mild. “There is no ‘but.’ I said no.”

Madam Lü had run squarely into a velvet-covered nail.

But however soft the covering, a nail was still a nail.

Anger filled her heart, yet she dared not fall out with Princess Qinghe. She pursed her lips and forced a smile. “Princess, it is not that the Lü Family seeks to behave unreasonably. But Xiuzhen is already past twenty. I cannot simply watch as he goes without a single child, can I?”

“Why not?”

Princess Qinghe asked in return, “He has no child, and neither do I. Even the palace is not anxious, so why are you? Is the Lü Family bloodline somehow more noble and precious than that of my imperial Luan Family?”

She did not raise her voice. Even while refusing, her expression remained gentle.

Caught entirely off guard, Madam Lü stiffened. Only after a long while did she stammer, “But this is all because the princess refuses to consummate the marriage with the Prince Consort. You cannot refuse to bear Xiuzhen a child yourself and forbid every other woman from doing so as well, can you?”

Princess Qinghe laughed. “It is true that I do not wish to consummate the marriage with the Prince Consort. But I have not considered finding several other men to see whether I might wish to consummate it with them. Madam, there is something you may not have understood before. I can make it clear now.”

Madam Lü forced another smile. “I am listening.”

“I have never intended to share my Prince Consort with anyone, whether I like him or not. Imperial Mother taught me so before I married, and Imperial Father instructed me the same way.”

Princess Qinghe stared steadily at her. “Whether I consummate the marriage with him or not, whether I can bear children or not, he may have no other woman, nor may he father a child with another woman.”

Madam Lü’s eyes widened and her mouth fell open. “Where beneath heaven is there such a rule? If word spreads…”

“I do not know whether such rules exist elsewhere. In any case, that is how Imperial Father and Imperial Mother taught me,” Princess Qinghe said. “If you consider it unreasonable, I can submit a tablet on your behalf and invite you into the palace to discuss it with Her Majesty.”

Despite her best effort at restraint, anger leaked into Madam Lü’s expression. “How can you bully people like this? This goes much too far. By what right?!”

“By what right?”

Princess Qinghe smiled. “Madam, if your eldest daughter-in-law said these words to you, what would you do?”

Did that even need to be asked?

She would immediately order her son to repudiate such an outrageously jealous and insolent woman!

Madam Lü’s expression darkened. She sat in frigid silence.

Princess Qinghe asked, “Why do you not do the same to me?”

Madam Lü’s cheek twitched, her face hard as an icy tombstone.

Princess Qinghe smiled instead. “The very thing you fear is the power upon which I rely.”

Madam Lü’s face turned livid.

Princess Qinghe sighed. “I believed you to be as reasonable as Lord Lü. It seems I was mistaken. You should return home, Madam. As for taking a concubine, do not even consider it. If anyone is to cuckold the other, I will cuckold him. He will not cuckold me.”

With that, she raised her teacup to dismiss her guest. “Of course, I cannot tie the Prince Consort to a post. You will have plenty of time to look for loopholes. But let me make the ugly truth clear in advance. If the Prince Consort does anything behind my back, he had best conceal it from me for the rest of my life. If I discover it, we may as well create a proper scandal. I can tell you the outcome now: the fish may die, but the net will certainly remain unbroken.”