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Straight Male Chauvinism Enters Romance Novels

Chapter 106

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  2. Straight Male Chauvinism Enters Romance Novels
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Chapter 106

[Li Erfeng Becomes Wanyan Gou – 26]

Zongpan exploded. “What is wrong with you? Who talks like that?!”

The Jin attendants glared angrily at the Song envoys.

“Your Majesty, be patient and hear my explanation.”

The official calmly said, “My mother came from a family of physicians, and I learned a little by observing her. Recently, a comet appeared southeast of our capital, Dongjing (Kaifeng). The astrologers foretold great calamity in the north. After arriving here, we learned Empress Dowager Tangkuo had died. Today I see darkness over Your Majesty’s brow and an ominous cast between your eyes. Clearly that comet came for Jin!”

Zongpan half believed him.

The Jurchens retained powerful primitive beliefs from their founding: worship of bears, gyrfalcons, and ancestors. Yet the envoy’s words sounded far too mystical.

On reflection, however, they possessed a grain of plausibility.

Empress Dowager Tangkuo had died only days ago, while the journey from Dongjing took half a month. Surely these men had not foreseen her death and invented the lie before leaving?

And they had killed a bear, one of the Jurchens’ sacred animals. Could that be coincidence?

Suspicion stirred. Zongpan scrutinized their faces, then moved aside and whispered to an attendant, “Does my complexion look terrible?”

Having witnessed the envoys prove Jin’s ominous fate, the attendant was doubtful too. He examined Zongpan and said gravely, “Your Majesty looks haggard. The shadows beneath your eyes are dark, and their light is dim. It does seem…”

Zongpan’s face changed. He looked back urgently.

He had only recently taken the throne, and his eldest son was not grown. If he died, how could his wife and children survive?

Even if Eastern Jin spared them, Zongbi in the west would not!

“Since the Song envoys see my illness, can it be cured?”

“Naturally. We came north to resolve Your Majesty’s troubles. Have you recently felt anything unusual?”

Zongpan frowned in thought. Nearby, one Jin attendant whispered, “His Majesty looks bad after keeping vigil several nights for the Empress Dowager. Isn’t that the reason?”

His companion: “…”

His companion glared. “Only you thought of that? The Song say: respect ghosts and gods, but keep your distance. If something happens to His Majesty, will you take responsibility?”

He fell silent. “I said nothing.”

The attendants watched Zongpan cradle his head in both hands as he tried to explain, “Nothing else feels wrong. Only my head keeps growing larger…”

“What? A problem in the legs is blocking the meridians and swelling the head?!”

“Impossible. My legs are fine!”

The envoy remained calm. “If you’re not ill, walk two steps.”

“Fine. Two steps.”

Zongpan: “…”

He clutched his leg and wept. “It’s numb! Aiya! Mother of mine!”

The envoy stopped. Zongpan limped around the hall like a duck. “What is happening? My leg!”

The attendants’ expressions changed, and they hurried to support him. Held up between them, Zongpan panicked like a two-hundred-jin child. “How is it treated? Please teach me!”

The envoys secretly relaxed, but their leader remained solemn. “Heaven has sent catastrophe upon Jin, causing Lady Tangkuo’s death and the Jin emperor’s illness, because Jin invaded other lands and killed their people, then brothers divided territory and warred against their own flesh. Unless Jin sincerely repents, punishment will only worsen!”

“How can it be ended? Speak plainly.”

The envoys exchanged looks and presented the state letter. “Great Song has exalted masters. The remedy is written here.”

Zongpan opened it eagerly. His eye twitched, and by the end his face shifted between eggplant purple and cucumber green.

“Cede every territory south of the Supreme Capital to Song? Impossible!” He struck the table. “That would be no different from national extinction!”

The Jurchens had lived by hunting and fishing along the Heilong River; their lands were far poorer than the Central Plains. Because southern regions were warmer and wealthier, surrendering everything south of the capital truly resembled losing the country.

However frightened, Zongpan would not agree.

Jin belonged to its people and the Wanyan clan. As Emperor Taizong of Jin’s son, Zongpan was only the representative chosen by powerful interests. Refuse, and heavenly punishment might kill him someday. Agree, and Jin rebels would kill him tonight!
Zongpan’s reaction did not surprise them. The envoy’s face chilled. “In Song we say: refuse the offered wine and drink the penalty wine. We courteously call you emperor of Jin. Without courtesy, you are merely a barbarian chieftain. How dare you roar at envoys of a superior state?”

He sneered. “Have you forgotten Jin’s defeat at the Yellow River and Wanyan Zonghan’s death? Your father could not oppose our emperor. How could you?”

Barbarians had always bullied the weak and feared the strong. During Jingkang they trampled Song royalty into the mud. Now that Jin was weaker, they dared not react even to such insolence in their palace.

Even as Eastern Jin’s emperor, Zongpan had swallowed Li Shimin’s claim of “fatherly concern” and objected only to the territorial demand.

A straight spine came from national strength, not verbal bravado.

Zongpan softened. “I do not disrespect the Song emperor, but the treaty is too harsh. Ceding everything south of the Supreme Capital would cause rebellion tonight. Please explain my difficulties upon returning to Dongjing…”

The envoys had heard that Zongpan had become the leader of Jin’s peace faction after repeated defeats, while Zongbi still dreamed of marching south. Now he even abandoned the imperial “We” for “I.” There was room to negotiate.

“If you do nothing, how can we praise you and save you? If not everything south of the capital, what will you cede?”

Honestly, Zongpan wanted to cede nothing. But pressed so fiercely, he finally said, “Perhaps the lands south of Pingzhou…”

The envoy laughed angrily. “Are you joking? Our armies recovered Henan, Hebei, Shandong, and the Sixteen Prefectures of Yanyun. Pingzhou borders Yanjing. What use is that? Not acceptable!”

They knew demanding everything through negotiation was fantasy. They agreed to butcher Jin as deeply as possible. His Majesty threatened death if they failed, but perhaps a large gain would redeem their lives.

This was not about honor or reward. It was about the rest of their lives!

Everything south of the Supreme Capital meant returning intact. Only territory south of Pingzhou…

They would certainly be beheaded!

Zongpan gloomily asked, “What do the Song envoys propose?”

“Everything south of the Supreme Capital!”

“Impossible!”

“Then we each retreat one step: everything south of Jizhou!”

Jizhou? Fuck, how different was that from the capital?!

“No! South of Laizhou at most!”

“Laizhou? Pah! Our dynasty could lift a leg and march there. Why negotiate? South of Jizhou!”

“Jinzhou at most!”

Zongpan’s face twisted. “Guangning Prefecture. My final line!”

The envoy produced a saber and slammed it into the table. “South of Shenzhou! Negotiate or fight!”

Zongpan struck the table. “You go too far!”

The envoy met him head-on. “This is for your good. Your submission to Song proves you honor the Treaty of Jianyan and are Jin’s legitimate ruler, since your Emperor Taizong signed it. As for that petty Zongbi-as Jin’s ruler, you may petition the Heavenly Dynasty to help suppress the rebel!”

Zongpan and Zongbi had clashed more than ten times. Zongpan feared attacking would let Song profit, but had never considered joining Song to beat the bastard!

His eyes lit.

In the original history, Zongpan became a pillar of Jin’s peace faction even against a weak Southern Song assisted by Wanyan Gou and Qin Hui. With Northern Song still powerful, why would he stubbornly support invasion?

After a year of furtive development, fermenting like bean curd, he had changed from peace advocate to surrender advocate. Only the absence of current war kept that trait dormant.

Hearing Song would attack Zongbi beside him, his face warmed. He sent the envoys to prepare medicine and summoned confidants.

“Your Majesty must not!” one wept. “Offer gold, silver, and horses, but never land! It is like the six states feeding Qin firewood: until the fuel ends, the fire cannot die!”
Flickering candlelight shadowed Zongpan’s face. “If I cede nothing, will Song refrain from attacking? Will Zongbi behave? Better surrender that land and gain peace before war damages our strength!”

“Zongbi is still Your Majesty’s cousin and a Wanyan,” the confidant pleaded. “The Song are Jin’s mortal enemies!”

Zongpan sneered. “So what? When the weather warms, I will march west beside Song and suppress that rebel Zongbi! As for the territory south of Shenzhou… better to give it to a friendly state than a family slave!”

…

In the pharmacy, the Song envoy chose warming herbs and more than ten precious ingredients. Claiming a secret prescription, he dismissed everyone, put the common tonics in the pot, burned the valuables beneath it, then scraped mud from his shoe into the brew and stirred.

His companion stared. “Will this work? Don’t kill him!”

“They’re tonics. He won’t die.”

None had cooked before. They knew neither water amount nor boiling time and could barely operate the stove. After fifteen minutes, smoke drove them out. Seeing the liquid bubble, they washed their hands and summoned servants.

The Jin attendants contemplated more than ten jin of medicine.

“How long is this supply? A month?”

The envoy smiled reservedly. “Seven days. One bowl morning, noon, and night.”

Remembering the cold, he added, “Heat it before drinking. At night, cover yourself well and sleep, so its effects reach their peak.”

The attendant hesitantly nodded.

Someone tested it for poison before delivering it.

The envoy: “…”

He concealed merit and fame.

…

The envoys remained three days. Zongpan improved daily, since he had never been ill-only exhausted by vigils.

But he believed their medicine cured him and drank each bowl with relish.

On the third day, he gave them a sealed state letter and sent them south.

Li Shimin had expected the officials to die. Instead, they returned intact. They had not achieved his demand, but gaining land south of Shenzhou was an unexpected delight.

The envoys to Zongbi also succeeded. Though devoted to war, circumstances forced him to hold his nose and cede land.

It was desert, of little value to him, but enormously meaningful to Song.

Occupy it now, develop it for years, and it would become “ours since ancient times”!

Hearing their anxious account, Li Shimin sighed to his companions, “Pressure truly creates motivation!”

The emperors laughed.

Emperor Gaozu asked, “Will you pardon them?”

Li Shimin snorted. “They returned with merit. Killing them would chill the court. But these pedants are useless inside the country.”

He rolled the Eastern Jin letter and ordered it archived. “They’re dogskin plasters: useful externally, never internally. Their years studying sages cannot be wasted, nor this quick wit.”

Ying Zheng raised a brow. “You mean to attack Western Xia.”

Li Shimin smiled. “Brother Zhao understands me.”

Liao was gone and Jin weak. Western Xia, which had repeatedly exploited Song, became his next target.

Jin and Western Xia had both served Liao. After Jin overthrew its master, Western Xia changed masters and joined several Jin attacks on Song.

In the original history, Southern Song twice sought friendship with Western Xia and was ignored. Two years later, hearing Jin would march south again, Western Xia hurried to reconcile.

Li Shimin folded his arms. “Have later emperors lost their minds? Is *Zhenguan* an era name a petty Western Xia ruler may use? And he called himself Li Qianshun… No. I must hammer him to feel better!”

Western Xia’s Emperor Chongzong, Li Qianshun, had indeed used Zhenguan for twelve years. Japan also had a Reign of Zhenguan, though less famous than China’s.

Li Shimin felt like a moth everyone wanted to scrape powder from for decoration.

Western Xia had been Liao’s vassal. Li Qianshun repeatedly sought a Liao princess, and Emperor Tianzuo married him Princess Cheng’an, Yelü Nanxian.

Before Jingkang, Jin destroyed Liao. Emperor Tianzuo fled to Western Xia’s border, where Li Qianshun traded him to Jin for advantage. Liao formally fell.

That September, Empress Yelü’s Crown Prince died of grief; days later she starved herself to death.

Thereafter, Li Qianshun and his son Li Renxiao honored Jin until its decline and the Mongols’ rise.
Comparing Great Tang’s territory under him with Song’s filled Li Shimin with humiliation. Even Northern Song, never mind Southern, was a castrated Central Plains!

Western Xia? Ganzhou Uyghurs? That was his Longyou Circuit!

Liao and Jin? Return his Chanyu and Andong Protectorates!

He was no useless Wanyan Gou, beaten like a dog and immediately barking from the ground. Learn about the Heavenly Khan!

Li Shimin rewarded the officials’ families, then ordered them to build more merit on a mission to Western Xia because they had not fully completed the first.

They left in tears. “Your Majesty, if we succeed this time, may we come home?”

Li Shimin murmured evasively and smilingly sent them away.

Yue Fei quietly asked, “Will Your Majesty truly let them return to office in Dongjing?”

“Pengju, what are you thinking?” Li Shimin said. “Why not put everything to use and have them open the Western Regions for me?”

Yue Fei: “…”

I was too naive!

After over a year of recovery, Great Song flourished. When spring warmed, Li Shimin took stock of the treasury and troop strength and decided to strike: Western Xia first, then Jin.

Li Gang nearly wept. “Your Majesty, reconsider! You are jade from Kunshan. How can you collide with rubble like Western Xia and Jin? If anything happened, this minister cannot imagine the consequences!”

Zong Ze said awkwardly, “Your Majesty, Great Song holds more territory than during… You are young. Please return to the palace and rest!”

Zhu Shengfei ventured, “Perhaps Your Majesty could hunt? Or select beauties? Build traveling palaces?”

Li Shimin: “…”

How heartbreaking. How had all of them become like this?

After peace and surrender factions were dismissed, remonstrators punished, redundant posts cut, and government reshuffled, court and countryside soon divided into two new parties.

The peace faction led by Li Gang, Zong Ze, Zhang Jun, Wu Jie, and Yue Fei-and the war faction led by His Majesty and young generals.

Li Gang and the others: “…”

Fuck!

Until the final moment, nobody knew what this world might become!

Li Shimin was still Son of Heaven and iron-willed. He forced through the decision. Li Gang and Zong Ze remained in Dongjing while he marched with Wu Jie, Yue Fei, Han Shizhong, and young generals against Western Xia.

Li Gang lost more hair from worry. He instructed Yue Fei, “Stay beside His Majesty. Don’t let him act recklessly. Great Song cannot bear an accident!”

“Yes. I remember.”

Zong Ze snapped, “Remembering with your mouth isn’t enough. Carve it into your heart! Fight if you can, retreat if you cannot. Don’t advance rashly. Be careful!”

Yue Fei: “…”

What could Yue Fei do? Yue Fei was helpless too.

Compared with Jin, Western Xia hardly amounted to much. Everyone persuaded Li Shimin to remain trapped in the command tent. Intending to train Yue Fei and the young generals, he sent them out while he sat listlessly waiting for good news.

Spring wind carried scattered shouts of battle from the west.

Li Shimin sat tearing paper. “When can I go out? I’m only a hot-blooded youth of twenty-two.”

Yue Fei was only twenty-seven. He held great responsibility largely through His Majesty’s promotion and trust. Commanding a front for the first time, he dared not relax.

He was uncut jade refined by Li Shimin until his brilliance could no longer be hidden. After killing a Western Xia general, he arranged formations and signaled the armies. Within half an hour, Western Xia fled.

Delighted but not arrogant, Yue Fei split his troops into three pursuing forces. An Imperial Guard rode up with an imperial order.

Yue Fei read it, his brow jumping. He inhaled, ordered the army onward, and ignored it.

Another message came half an hour later. He glanced, tucked it inside his robe, and ignored it too.

…

The pursuit lasted most of the day and ended in overwhelming victory. Yet Yue Fei showed no joy. After reviewing casualties, he calmly entered the command tent.

Young generals clicked their tongues. “Worthy of Yue Pengju. His emotions never show. I would be jumping for joy.”

“Indeed. A born commander.”

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Straight Male Chauvinism Enters Romance Novels

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Noble Consort Qin was a peerless beauty, alluring enough to make the emperor cast aside his first wife and depose his legitimate son.

With tender eyes, Noble Consort Qin murmured, “His...

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