Chapter 25
Chapter 25
Qiao Yu didn’t say a word. Hou Yuanyuan looked up at the jelly on the top shelf, her face full of longing. “I’ve never had it before. I dream of tasting what jelly is like. It’s my dream.”
*Well, that’s a pretty trivial dream, isn’t it?*
-Streamer, I have a dream too. I want a villa.
-Streamer, I want a Ferrari.
-Streamer, I want to drive a Ferrari with one hand while holding a girl with the other.
“Everyone, please restrain your delusions. I’m just an ordinary… horror streamer? I’m not a turtle in a wishing pond.”
Not wanting to be left out, Brother Crocodile also stepped forward. “Daddy, my dream is to receive a bouquet of flowers.”
Qiao Yu replied emotionlessly, “Let me share a fun fact with you. If you climb up to the fourth floor right now and jump out the window, I guarantee you’ll receive flowers tomorrow.”
Man-Eating Crocodile: *Sob~*
-Pfft!
-Receive flowers? More like receive wreaths, right?
-The streamer’s mouth is way too mean.
-Just his mouth? His whole person is mean!
Qiao Yu secretly rolled his eyes at them and continued speaking to Hou Yuanyuan with a look of utter sincerity. “So that’s how it is. Let me tell you, jelly tastes awful. It’s unimaginably bad.”
Hou Yuanyuan looked skeptical. “…It’s because it’s unimaginable that I have to try it for myself.”
For the sake of sixteen yuan, Qiao Yu was truly fighting a losing battle, yet he refused to give up.
He reached out and took the jelly off the shelf, pointing at the fine print. He was about to speak, but then seemed to think of something and turned to Hou Yuanyuan. “How old are you?”
“Nine.”
“Ah, it’s not that I won’t buy it for you, but look, it says right here: ‘Consumption by children under the age of nine is prohibited.'”
Hou Yuanyuan was truly fed up. “…You know nine-year-olds are already in second grade, right? Even if I were illiterate, I could still tell the difference between a three and a nine!”
“What kind of idiom is ‘the difference between a three and a nine’? I only know Sanjiu Weitai and three times nine is twenty-seven.”
Viewers in the Live Stream Room: *Sanjiu Weitai and three times nine is twenty-seven aren’t idioms either!!!*
Seeing that he couldn’t fool the kid, Qiao Yu’s finger moved to the next line. “It’s even better if you can read. Look, doesn’t it say right here: ‘Children should only consume this under the supervision of a guardian.’ See, it’s really not that I won’t buy it for you. Even if I did, you couldn’t eat it. Who told your guardian not to be here right now?”
Hou Yuanyuan: (￣ェ￣;)
Even though Hou Yuanyuan was a ghost, Wulong Tea couldn’t watch this anymore.
*She’s just a child, doesn’t your conscience hurt!*
“Uncle will buy it for you.”
It was just a bag of jelly!
Qiao Yu immediately shut up and pointed at Wulong Tea with a dry laugh. “Hurry up and thank your uncle.”
Hou Yuanyuan expressed: *I’m really ‘shuan Q’!*
“It doesn’t count if he buys it.”
Qiao Yu: “…”
*What? Is my money more handsome or something?*
The situation fell into a temporary deadlock, but no one dared to persuade Qiao Yu.
They didn’t dare to boss around a miraculous teammate who could set hair on fire and kick a human-head ghost. They might even need him to pull them through this Instance later.
“Fine, if you won’t buy it for me, my mom’s calling me home for dinner.”
Hou Yuanyuan’s threat was very effective. Qiao Yu could only grit his teeth and buy the jelly for the brat.
“Go and bring out all the House Number Plates from the Basement.”
Hou Yuanyuan nodded while clutching the jelly and left. Qiao Yu wasn’t afraid of her breaking her word; he was just secretly mourning the RMB in his pocket.
Sixteen yuan… he could have used that for several days. A box of biscuits only cost four yuan!
-This guy is way too stingy…
-Hey, look at the Live Stream Room balance. You can exchange it for 9,900 now.
“I see it, but I can only withdraw once a week. Still… why did you guys stop giving me tips?” Qiao Yu asked, showing no shame at all. In fact, he seemed proud as he had the gall to ask for more.
-Why should we? We’re not giving you anything, bleh~
-A man’s greed is like a snake trying to swallow an elephant.
-Kowtow once and I’ll give you 1 gold coin.
Qiao Yu squinted at that bullet message and sneered. “A man’s knees are worth their weight in gold.”
-Well, nothing we can do then. It’s not that we don’t want to tip you.
Suddenly, a pleasant chuckle rang out. “It’s also time to cash out!”
As he spoke, he made a move as if he were about to kneel.
One hundred bucks for a single kowtow? Believe it or not, he could headbutt the floor until the tiles peeled off.
“How about we start with ten thousand dollars’ worth?”
-Uh…
-Why hasn’t our country used your skin to research bulletproof vests yet?
-The streamer’s abacus is clicking so loud I can hear it in the underworld.
“Are we doing this or not? Give me a straight answer!” Qiao Yu challenged.
-…
-The streamer is so bold. That guy’s too scared to pop up now, hahaha.
The viewer who had been clamoring for Qiao Yu to kowtow had vanished. Of course, Qiao Yu hadn’t actually planned on kneeling anyway.
In truth, his gold coin balance had been stuck at the sensitive number of 99 for a long time without increasing. It didn’t take much thought to realize they were gatekeeping him because he needed 100 gold coins to buy a Review Card.
Either the novice Live Stream Room had a tipping cap, or it was just the viewers’ twisted sense of humor. Either way, they were being jerks.
“Live Assistant, do you guys handle situations like this?”
[Live Assistant 9999999: Private transactions are not handled by the Live Stream Room.]
“The internet isn’t a lawless wasteland, thank you very much.”
[Live Assistant 9999999: …The backend can lock onto the target for you. If you have the guts, go settle the score yourself.]
“Heh, if there’s one thing I have, it’s guts. Tell him to wait for me!”
-Ooh, I’m so scared~
-Did you hear that? He’s coming to settle the score.
-Bring it on. If he’s actually got the skills, I’ll tip him 100 gold coins without him needing to kowtow.
-Um… I think you spoke too soon.
-Why are you boosting his ego and killing our own momentum?!
-It’s not that I’m boosting his ego, it’s that I’m still stuck inside the TV! If you guys don’t come save me, how can you call yourselves ‘one of us’? I don’t care, I’m defecting. Go for it, streamer, get him! I’m stanning the streamer now. From now on, I’m your little fangirl. I’ll support you forever!
Qiao Yu: …
That really wasn’t necessary.
Just then, the sky outside the window turned black at a speed visible to the naked eye. No one was in the mood for jokes anymore as they hurriedly pulled out their phones to check the time.
7:00 PM.
“What’s going on? Does Hou Yuanyuan going inside also accelerate the Instance’s time?” Wulong Tea was starting to panic. They were all in the small shop right now, not in their own rooms. Did they have to go through another Battle Royale?
Please, no. His health couldn’t take it.
“Logically, that shouldn’t happen…” Pozhan rubbed his chin, looking deeply puzzled. “The death rules in the Instance are targeted at streamers. There shouldn’t be any restrictions on Hou Yuanyuan, who is an Instance NPC herself.”
Qiao Yu listened and was also surprised. “If what you’re saying is true, then the Instance acceleration has nothing to do with Hou Yuanyuan. Then why on earth would… Fuck! I remember now!”
Did that bastard Canyue Wushuang go into the Basement?!