Chapter 10
Chapter 10
Earphones?
Qin Lan had a bad feeling.
“Wait. First secret subway photos, now stolen earphones. Why does this instance keep imitating ugly controversies from the internet?”
“If this instance keeps dredging up scandals like these, it deserves to be shut down!”
Qin Lan wiped away sweat.
“Besides, didn’t the earphone theft happen in a library?”
There were far more passengers than before, almost filling the carriage.
With subway security present, forcibly searching everyone was impossible.
Finding the thief in under five minutes would be like finding a needle in an ocean.
At least, that was the difficulty in theory.
Qin Lan covered his face with an indescribable expression and patted Xue Chuan’s shoulder.
“Brother, do you trust me?”
Still searching his pockets, Xue Chuan paused. “What do you mean?”
Qin Lan sighed.
“By my estimate, the thief is biologically female, around nineteen to twenty-four, and looks bitter and mean. Or she might be a humanoid creature.”
“Barring surprises, she’s also a university student.”
“Search for those traits. There shouldn’t be many matches.”
Xue Chuan was shocked.
“A female university student?”
“Wow, brother, that sounded a little sexist. Say that on Big Red Book and they’d cyberbully you to death… But never mind. I’m no saint either.”
“We’re brothers. I’ll trust you!”
Xue Chuan’s gaze sharpened, and he thrust a hand into his pocket again.
“What are you doing now?!”
Qin Lan recoiled, terrified that Xue Chuan might draw something like [Carbon-Based Lifeform Calmer 3.0] or [Ultimate Murder Weapon: Guaranteed Death 3000].
The basketball and rocket launcher proved that Xue Chuan’s items covered an enormous range. A weapon of mass destruction was entirely possible.
In theory, even drawing a nuclear bomb might not be a joke.
“Relax. I know what I’m doing.”
Xue Chuan smiled confidently and removed the item.
This time, he seemed to have drawn something useful.
It was an oddly shaped pair of red-framed sunglasses.
“If you put those on, strike a pose, yell ‘shwah,’ and transform into a giant warrior of light, I’m reporting you for copyright infringement.”
Qin Lan had almost run out of energy for sarcasm.
Every item Xue Chuan drew displayed a floating label, so Qin Lan knew the glasses were no transformation device. He merely wanted to complain.
[A Gentleman’s Sunglasses]
[Effect: These lenses can see through any clothing and reveal whatever you wish to observe. As a gentleman, you should know exactly what to observe.]
Xue Chuan took a deep breath and donned the sunglasses with righteous solemnity.
“As the saying goes…”
“If I do not enter hell, who will?”
“Let me alone bear the burden of these cursed eyes!”
Qin Lan hesitated.
“Uh…”
“Before making such a righteous speech, could you wipe that lecherous grin off your face?”
Xue Chuan did not answer. His gleaming gaze swept rapidly through the carriage, then locked onto… a kappa.
It had to be a kappa.
Though humanoid, it was hideously ugly, with a protruding mouth, buck teeth, bulging eyes, and dung-green skin.
“Hiss…”
Xue Chuan looked as though he had eaten a pile of excrement.
“I think I found my earphones…”
“But I wish I hadn’t seen anything.”
Two sorrowful streams of tears ran from behind the lenses. His face went dark.
“Tell me, what is the meaning of life?”
Qin Lan sympathized.
Merely imagining it gave him some sense of the vast psychological trauma Xue Chuan had suffered.
Whether Xue Chuan had exceptional endurance or exceptionally low standards, he recovered within seconds and squeezed toward the kappa.
Qin Lan stayed still and watched.
From what he knew, identifying the thief would not make recovering the earphones easy.
After all… art came from reality.
And reality was more absurd than any fantasy.
Sure enough, a brief dispute between Xue Chuan and the kappa immediately caused a commotion.
Before every passenger in the carriage, the hideous kappa burst into loud sobs.
“Do you have to go this far?!”
“They’re just earphones!”
“You’re a grown man, and you’re making things difficult for me over something this small? Aren’t you ashamed?”
“Waaah!”
Qin Lan sneered. “I knew it…”
“Such familiar rhetoric. She must have trained on certain social platforms.”
By now, Qin Lan more or less understood exactly what kind of instance [Terror Subway] was.
“In every possible sense, the word ‘terror’ fits perfectly.”
“One mistake means social death. Even defending your legitimate rights gets twisted against you until it kills you…”
The kappa continued wailing. Her cries were sharp and miserable, yet not a single tear emerged.
On closer inspection, a cunning gleam moved through her eyes.
“Sob… I’ve suffered from depression all my life…”
“You called me a thief in front of all these people. How can I keep living? I might as well die…”
Qin Lan nodded from a distance.
“There it is. The classic depression card.”
“First cry, then make a scene, then threaten suicide. Next she should manipulate the passengers into suppressing him through public opinion.”
Sure enough, once the kappa began to cry, the bystanders seemed possessed. They surrounded Xue Chuan and berated him furiously.
“Young man, why are you so petty?”
“She’s a young woman. What would it cost you to let her have her way?”
“Are you even a man? You can’t endure one little grievance?”
“Look how pitiful she is. Apologize at once!”
More and more bystanders joined the siege. They shoved Xue Chuan away, cursing and roaring as they prevented him from approaching the kappa.
To recover the earphones now, he would have to deal with every passenger around her.
But fighting was prohibited aboard the subway. Any violence would summon security.
“What will you do?”
Qin Lan narrowed his eyes and watched.
Two minutes remained.
Protected by the passengers, the kappa showed a cruel smile. She even took the stolen earphones from her pocket and waved them tauntingly at Xue Chuan.
Yet, to Qin Lan’s surprise, the surrounded Xue Chuan offered no argument.
He stumbled, fell to the floor, and let the sunglasses slip from his face.
His eyes rolled upward.
No.
The bastard was pretending to be blind!
Qin Lan was stunned.
A genius. He was a true genius!
Xue Chuan delivered an award-winning performance. He groped clumsily for the sunglasses lying within easy reach and spoke in a timid voice.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I never meant to cause trouble for anyone…”
“Those earphones were the only thing my father left me. When I was very young, he went to help during a terrible flood and never came home…”
“My mother always told me he was a great hero.”
Xue Chuan choked on his sobs.
“My phone still has the voice messages he sent me. Whenever I miss him, I listen to them. Only then does it feel like he’s still beside me…”
“I wanted to become a hero like my father. Not long ago, I rescued a child from a fire, but the smoke blinded me…”
“I apologize for being born.”
Every passenger who had berated him fell silent.
“Please. I only want my earphones back. I only want to hear my father’s voice again.”
“I don’t want his medal of honor. I only want my father to come home…”
Covering his face, Xue Chuan sat crumpled on the floor, weak, helpless, and pitiful.
In an instant, the situation reversed.
Everyone turned toward the kappa, fury burning in their eyes.
“She bullied a disabled man!”
“Unforgivable!”
“How can you make a hero’s child shed both blood and tears?!”
The kappa, smug only moments before, went pale with terror and tried to flee. Two towering figures blocked her path.
Ahead stood two furious, baton-wielding brutes.
Behind waited a crowd of passengers cracking their knuckles, eager to uphold justice.
“Ah! I was wrong! I know I was wrong!”
“Not the face! Ah!”
“I have depression! I really have depres– Ah!”