Chapter 9
Chapter 9
August 5 – Clear
Fragment Six
Over the next few days, I didn’t send my husband a single message or call him once.
He came to find me of his own accord.
He begged me to forgive him and promised to take me home in a few days.
I agreed.
Someone photographed the two of us outside my house and sent the picture to my husband’s mother.
She assumed I was still pestering her son, so she threw me into the gay conversion center.
Then she lied and told him I had been sent away on a last-minute business trip.
Before leaving, she had someone take my phone and all my cash. She threatened that if I called my husband, she would do this and that to me.
I wasn’t raised to scare easily. I ignored her only out of consideration for my husband. She took that as weakness and pushed further, saying that if I dared call him, she would be forced to take certain unnecessary measures against him.
I exploded. Slamming the table, I shot to my feet and roared, “He’s your fucking son! Your own flesh and blood!”
Her reply shattered everything I thought I knew about human decency.
“My original plan was that if he defied me and insisted on staying with you, I would destroy him.”
“I can still have another child. Or I can adopt one from a collateral branch of the family and raise that child as my heir.”
“But now things are different. You’re the one who can’t be cured.”
“That leaves me no choice. You’ll have to suffer here for a while so I have time to introduce my son to some suitable women.”
I remember thinking how terrifying that woman was.
…
Today, Old Wang told me that the people who killed Yanyan and condemned me to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair had been sent by my husband’s mother.
At first, I didn’t believe him. Even when Old Wang took out his phone and pulled up a recording, I was still marveling that he knew how to record calls.
Then I heard Yanyan’s uncle on the line.
“Hello? Don’t worry, Mrs. Tang. Liang Anping’s legs truly cannot be saved. He’ll be disabled forever. He will never walk again… Mm. He stays in his room all day now. I’ve assigned an old man to look after him.”
“All right, understood. I’ll tell them to leave him alone for the time being.”
Mrs. Tang. What other Mrs. Tang had a grudge against me?
Only my husband’s mother.
I truly was a fool…
August 6 – Overcast
The ringing phone woke me. One look at the number and I was instantly alert.
It was my husband.
I thought I might still be dreaming, but I answered anyway.
Even if it was a dream, please let me lose myself in it for a moment.
I picked up, only to hear my husband say, “Let’s break up.”
I froze. Forcing my stiff lips into something like a smile, I tried to sound casual. “Shaoxuan, I don’t think today is April Fools’ Day…”
“I’m not joking. Let’s end this. From now on, we’ll never see each other again. Just pretend -”
“Fuck you and your never seeing each other again! Tang Shaoxuan, you’re not even human!”
“What the fuck have I been to you for the past six months? Your lover? Your partner? Or just someone you slept with?”
“I gave you everything: my body, my heart, my whole fucking soul, and now you’re asking to break up? Do you have any idea how completely you’ve ruined my life?”
“Do you even know where I’ve been all this time? Do you know how much humiliation I’ve suffered for you? Do you know I became disabled because of you?”
“…You told me I was the only one for you in this life and that I’d still be yours in the next. You said you would protect me and never let me suffer any pain or humiliation, that I could live in peace as the young Mrs. Tang.”
“The greatest suffering of my life has all come from you. Tang Shaoxuan, you’re a cold-blooded bastard with a heart of stone.”
“Get lost! If you don’t love me, then don’t. I don’t fucking need you!”
I hung up, clutched my chest, and wailed. Snatching the painkillers from the table, I stuffed handful after handful into my mouth.
It hurt. It hurt so much. I couldn’t bear it.
Less than ten minutes later, I vomited up every pill I had swallowed.
Old Wang came in and found me retching uncontrollably. When he saw the empty boxes on the table, he helped me onto the bed and shouted, “Liang Anping! Are you trying to kill yourself?”
When I had cried myself empty, I sat on the bed without speaking. Old Wang talked at me for a long time, but I gave no response. At last, he stormed out in a fury.
August 7 – Rain
I keep telling myself I have to learn to let go, but I know I can’t.
When hope suddenly falls to zero, there are only two choices: keep going or give up.
There is no way for us to keep going. I think it is time I let go.
Fragment Seven
Before we got together, my husband once asked when my birthday was. I fell silent for several seconds, then gave him the date.
It had been a long time since I’d celebrated my birthday. A long time since anyone had even asked when it was.
I had never liked birthdays much to begin with. After my parents died on my birthday, I stopped celebrating them altogether.
On my birthday that year, my husband asked me to go out. I hadn’t wanted to agree, but somehow he got in touch with Qian Mu. The two of them took turns bombarding me until I finally surrendered and left the house.
And of course Qian Mu, that traitor who forgot his friends the moment romance entered the picture, brought his partner Liao Jun along.
This was too much. Were they deliberately bullying me because I was single?
“Anping, if you don’t want to watch them flaunt their love, why not find someone of your own? Maybe consider me?”
I glanced at him. Inside, my heart was bursting with joy, but all I said, with suitable restraint, was, “We’ll see how you perform.”
I will never forget sitting with him on the Ferris wheel while he pointed to the lights outside and told me that even the most beautiful lights eventually went dark, and the most beautiful flowers eventually withered.
The brightest fireworks faded. The most romantic love stories ended.
Even the finest food became tiresome, and even the strongest life came to an end.
“But I am willing to spend my finite life loving you, cherishing you, respecting you, and protecting you.
“I will defy human nature itself and love you for the rest of my life.”
He got one thing right. Even the most romantic love story ends.
August 8 – Clear
Qian Mu came to see me.
After I finished yesterday’s entry, I called him and we talked for an hour.
When he heard I was in a gay conversion center, he abruptly announced that he would come see me the next day.
But the infuriating bastard couldn’t simply come on his own. He had to bring his partner too.
The moment they saw me in the wheelchair, both of them fell silent.
Qian Mu crouched in front of me. His fingers trembled as he touched my leg. Then he asked:
“Did it… hurt?”
I stared at him, dazed.
Every time I’d been injured these past few weeks, people had told me to hurry and get better. Not one of them had ever asked whether it hurt.
I managed a smile. “How could it not? I’ll spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. I’ll never walk again.”
Qian Mu said nothing. He hurriedly tossed out, “I’ll be back in a while,” then pulled his boyfriend away.
Something unexpectedly came up, and they couldn’t return. Instead, they left their purchases with Old Wang and asked him to bring them to me.
He truly was my best friend. He knew better than anyone what I needed. Besides fruit, he had given me a notebook.
May you know peace and health for the rest of your days.