Chapter 10
Chapter 10
August 9 – Overcast
I have another cold.
The internet says taking too many painkillers can weaken your immune system.
My body has demonstrated that perfectly.
As if the dizziness and pounding head weren’t enough, my tooth still hurts. I’ve gone from taking painkillers twice a day to four times, and each dose works for less and less time. The pain is becoming difficult to suppress.
I made Old Wang angry yesterday. How am I supposed to coax the old man back into a good mood?
Fragment Eight
My first trip with my husband was to the countryside. We didn’t go anywhere like Sanya or Indonesia.
We had originally agreed to visit Shangri-La and see Napahai Lake. Then something came up at the last minute, and he had to conduct an inspection in the countryside, so he took me along.
…I may enjoy rural life, but I had looked forward to Shangri-La for such a long time. Worse, the place where he had come to work was my hometown.
Anyone would have been upset.
That fool kept asking why I was unhappy and enthusiastically introducing the area to me.
It was my hometown, and I knew it far better than he did. Still, I wanted to hear how an outsider saw it.
At the time, my earphones were playing one of my favorite songs on an endless loop. The chorus went roughly like this:
Rock, rock, past the fifteenth and the Spring Equinox, all the way to Grandma’s bridge; wait, wait, for Grandma’s sweet, sweet call.
Stir, stir, puffed-rice candy clinging to our lips, never enough to fill us; pretty, pretty, little feet swinging high above the bridge…
Rock, rock, past the fifteenth and the Autumn Equinox, all the way to Grandma’s bridge; laugh, laugh, held tight in Grandma’s arms.
Leap, leap, the Cowherd and Weaver Girl so far away, forever beyond our reach; blink, blink, smile and smile at them.
…
Later, I took that fool to meet my maternal grandparents. He froze for several seconds, then greeted the old couple with practiced ease and fell into conversation.
They adored him. At noon, they prepared a table covered in dishes for the four of us.
And of the four people at that table, I was the only one forcing a smile.
That shameless lecher had something he couldn’t say to my face, so he sent me a message.
[My Husband]: Just wait until tonight.
Oh. That truly wasn’t something he could say aloud.
August 11 – Clear
Yesterday, while I was wheeling myself around outside, someone shoved me hard into a wall.
Worse, I landed facedown. My forehead struck a stone, and the bleeding wouldn’t stop.
They had left me alone since Yanyan died. I don’t know why they suddenly targeted me again yesterday.
No one took me to the hospital. They left me unconscious on the ground. I woke on my own, used every scrap of strength I had to drag myself back into the wheelchair, then returned to my room and treated the wound in front of the mirror.
Sometimes, you cannot rely on anyone else.
Once I had finished, I hauled my exhausted body onto the bed and fell asleep at once.
Fragment Nine
I remember once, when that fool and I were on our way home, some of his rivals ambushed us.
What century were we living in? Did people still take revenge like this? If they couldn’t beat him in business, they went straight for murder?
I don’t remember the details clearly. I only remember shielding him with my back. The club came down on my spine and snapped on impact.
That fool took me to the hospital. I kept insisting it was nothing and didn’t hurt.
Then the doctor lightly tapped the injured area with a percussion hammer, and I bared my teeth in agony.
The doctor explained that a healthy spine should not hurt under percussion. Pain usually indicated the location of a lesion and was commonly associated with spinal tuberculosis, fractures, tumors, or a herniated disc.
It was obvious: my spine was fractured.
The doctor warned me again and again that I would have to remain in bed and recuperate for the next several months. Then we went home.
August 12 – Overcast
Fragment Ten
One day, he suddenly asked whether I might stop loving him someday.
I remember we had just finished cleaning up afterward. He held me around the waist, looking uneasy.
I knew that because his mother was so domineering, controlling both him and his father down to the smallest detail and forbidding one thing after another, he had never much liked women.
But he also lacked confidence and never felt secure. He was always convinced that I would leave him someday.
So I promised I would love him forever. I would never make him feel insecure, and I would never ask to break up.
Now you’re the one who stopped loving me first.
You’re the one who made me feel unsafe first.
You’re the one who asked to break up first.
So it isn’t unreasonable for me to leave you, is it?
If I were the Little Prince’s rose, I would fly far away, as far from him as I could get.
When it’s over, it’s over. When the love is gone, it’s gone. There is no reason to make a scene or cling to someone who no longer wants you.
Forcing someone to love you can only leave both people wounded.
August 13 – Overcast
[Liang: Who are you?]
[Shihuai: I don’t know.]
[Liang: Why do you exist?]
[Shihuai: I don’t know.]
[Liang: What’s your name?]
[Shihuai: My name is Song Shihuai. What about you?]
[Liang: Liang Anping.]
…
I think I may have an alter.
[Shihuai: Not “may.” I am your alter.]
He is speaking to me through my notebook.
[Shihuai: I read the beginning of your diary. You’re gay?]
[Shihuai: That’s incredible.]
[Liang: Why?]
[Shihuai: After everything he did to you, why can’t you forget him?]
[Shihuai: Can love put food on the table?]
[Liang: I don’t know. Maybe because my feelings for him haven’t faded yet.]
[Liang: No.]
[Shihuai: And you still can’t forget him.]
[Liang: I loved him once. You can’t simply forget because you decide to.]
[Shihuai: What happened to your legs?]
[Shihuai: It must have hurt terribly.]
[Liang: I was protecting a girl. Someone had deliberately set us up too.]
[Liang: It hurt then. I’m all right now. Except when it rains, anyway.]
[Shihuai: I read your entry from that day. Your husband’s mother sent those people?]
[Shihuai: What the hell kind of monster is she? That’s disgusting.]
[Liang: You get used to people like that once you’ve seen enough of them. If I get the chance, I’ll take you outside to have some fun.]
[Liang: I don’t know if I’ll ever get out now.]
[Shihuai: Of course you will. You said you’d take me out. You can’t break your word.]
[Liang: All right. I promise.]
August 14 – Clear
[Shihuai: Liang Anping, do you do nothing but lie in bed all day?]
[Shihuai: You could at least go out for a walk.]
[Liang: I’d love to. Take a look at my legs.]
[Liang: The wound on my head hasn’t healed either.]
[Shihuai: But I’m so bored.]
[Shihuai: Liang Anping, can you write another story about you and that man?]
[Liang: There’s nothing worth writing.]
[Shihuai: Come on, write one. At least it’ll give me something to read.]
[Liang: What do you want to read?]
[Shihuai: Anything from before you and that man got together. Pick one.]
Fragment Eleven
After the banquet, I assumed that man and I would never cross paths again. Somehow, he managed to get my WeChat contact.
[Annoying Jerk]: Liang Anping, have you eaten?
[Anping]: No. Why?
[Annoying Jerk]: [Image]
[Annoying Jerk]: I have.
[Anping]: Get lost!
The harassment never stopped after that day.
[Liang: It’s too late tonight. I’ll tell you more next time.]
[Shihuai: All right.]