Chapter 6

Chapter 6

July 24 – Clear

I hope these two clear days in a row will bring me a little luck.

My broken ribs will still need time to heal. Whenever I remember the pain of being thrown from that balcony, my scalp prickles.

Thankfully, Boss Lu hasn’t bothered me since then. I’ve had a few quiet days.

Strange. When did I start living every day in fear?

What a bitter joke.

The weather was pleasant, so Miss Song helped me outside for a walk and some fresh air.

Halfway there, she received a call from the hospital. She wanted to take me back to my room before leaving.

But she looked so frantic that I refused and urged her to hurry to the hospital.

Miss Song nodded and ran off. I began hobbling back to my room on my crutches.

That was when Boss Lu appeared from nowhere and viciously pinched my waist.

I tore myself out of his grip, balanced on one leg, and lashed his shin with my crutch. He immediately dropped to the ground, clutching his leg and rolling in pain.

I stepped around him and continued on. He caught up and kicked me in the stomach. I lost my balance and crashed to the ground.

“You should count yourself lucky I want you. Don’t be fucking ungrateful!” Boss Lu crouched beside me, seized my chin, and groped my waist again.

I wanted to cut off his hand.

I kicked at him. I hadn’t expected to hit him between the legs, but it was deeply satisfying.

Boss Lu curled up on the ground with his hands over his crotch. His men rushed me at once. Fists rained down on my body, but I gritted my teeth against the pain and refused to show weakness.

Through the haze, I heard Boss Lu say, “Don’t ruin his face.” His men stopped reluctantly. Then they tied me to a chair and left me in the courtyard under the blazing sun.

Feels familiar, doesn’t it?

I don’t remember much of what happened afterward. The next time I woke, I was lying in bed with the taste of Huoxiang Zhengqi medicine in my mouth. Both arms and the back of my neck itched and burned.

Miss Song said I’d been left under the sun for two hours. I had heatstroke and severe sunburn, and would need medicine applied continuously for some time.

I nodded, then casually asked, “How is your boyfriend?”

The girl’s eyes reddened at once. Choking on her tears, she told me her boyfriend was gone.

I froze.

…How could that be? He was out of danger. How could this have happened?

July 25 – Overcast

Under Miss Song’s relentless insistence, her uncle finally gave in and allowed me to accompany her to the funeral home.

Afraid the journey would be too tiring for me, she even rented a wheelchair and pushed me there.

When Jiang Rong’s body was handed over to the funeral home, Miss Song clung to his hand and choked out, “Jiang Rong, please wake up. Please?”

I hurried to restrain her. “Yanyan, the dead cannot return. Let him rest. You have to take care of yourself.”

Miss Song let go. She watched her boyfriend being wheeled away, and at last she broke down in wrenching sobs.

When she had cried herself out, she wiped her tears and pushed me back to the gay conversion center.

July 26 – Overcast

Miss Song is preparing her boyfriend’s funeral. I’ve remained beside her throughout.

Even though the preparations have only just begun, many relatives have already arrived. Miss Song has had to arrange places for them to stay.

Losing the person you love and still having to force a smile for others; there can be few crueller torments.

Then a man suddenly sauntered over and said to Miss Song with a grin, “I told you he was doomed to die young. I told you ages ago that you should be with me.”
Miss Song glared at him, her voice hoarse. “Su Hao, do you really have to say something like that?”

Su Hao gave a dismissive laugh. Taking Miss Song’s hand, he smiled and said, “Why don’t you come be with me? I’ve liked you for a long time.”

“Sorry to interrupt, but saying this at Jiang Rong’s funeral is rather disrespectful, don’t you think?”

Su Hao looked me over, then glanced down his nose at me before turning back to Miss Song. “What, you’ve already found your next -”

Crack.

Miss Song finally tore her hand from Su Hao’s grasp and slapped him hard across the face.

“That slap was only a warning. Say another filthy word and see what happens.” She gave him a glacial look, then pushed my wheelchair away.

Once that insignificant disturbance was behind us, Miss Song remained silent for the entire afternoon. She didn’t speak again until it was time for me to leave. Then she said only, “I’ll take you back.”

July 27 – Rain

Miss Song is dead.

On the night of the twenty-sixth, she pushed me back toward the gay conversion center without saying a word along the way.

To reach the center, we had to pass through an alley. That was where they blocked our path.

They rushed us without a word and demanded our money. Then they tried to assault Miss Song. I put myself between them and her, but they swarmed me.

When I next woke, I was told that Miss Song was dead.

She had jumped into the river.

All she left me was a phone and a note.

There were only a few words on it: Brother Liang, live well. I’m going down to be with him.

According to the doctor, Miss Song called an ambulance that morning and had me brought to the hospital. She borrowed a pen and paper, wrote something, paid the bill, and left.

An hour later, the police called me. Miss Song was gone. A resident had reported a body in the river.

I don’t remember how I felt at the time. I don’t remember how I felt when they sent me back to the hospital after I gave my statement.

Only when I was lying in the hospital bed, unable to feel the pain in my legs, did I finally understand.

Both my legs were broken. And that girl was gone.

July 27 – Rain (Afternoon)

After something terrible happened to Miss Song, she sent me to the hospital, paid my fees, left a message, and took her own life by jumping into the river.

My legs were severely injured. I will spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair.

The young nurse must have felt sorry that someone who looked as decent as I did had ended up this way. She rushed to comfort me. “It’s all right. At least you’re still alive, aren’t you?”

I smiled. “It really isn’t a big deal. So my legs are broken. I’m fine.”

That’s right. I’m fine. I’m still alive, aren’t I? I’m fine.

I haven’t gotten out yet. There are so many things I still want to do. I haven’t seen my husband again.

But, my husband, where are you?

I’ve suffered so many injuries, endured so much humiliation. Where are you?

We made so many promises to each other. We swore so many vows like that.

Then why weren’t you there when I missed you? Why weren’t you there when I was hurt? Why were you still absent when I lay in the hospital?

What am I in this relationship? How much space do I occupy in your heart? How can you say you love me, then go out with another woman without the slightest burden on your conscience? Did you ever think about how I would feel?

In every part of our relationship, I’m the one who suffers, while you can still go off and whisper sweet nothings to someone else.

…You said you would protect me for the rest of my life. You said you would never abandon me.

My husband, you broke your promise.