Chapter 13
Chapter 13
August 21 – Clear
I couldn’t see Grandma one last time. I couldn’t even watch as they took her into the operating room.
Grandma cared so much about her appearance. If she got even the tiniest cut, she treated it with extraordinary care, terrified it might leave a scar.
And yet, when she left this world, she was willing to bear a scar that would never fade.
I wonder: when my own time comes, will I finally be able to release everything I couldn’t let go of in life?
[Liang: Song Shihuai, do you still want to get out?]
[Shihuai: Of course I do. Ever since I appeared, I’ve been trapped in this place. I’ve never been outside. I want to see the world.]
[Liang: All right. I promise I’ll take you out to see it.]
It seems I can’t die yet. I promised someone I would take him out.
August 22 – Overcast
Song Shihuai hasn’t appeared once all day.
All I remember is letting him take us into the courtyard this morning. After that, I knew nothing.
It was evening when I woke.
I was lying in bed. It felt as though I’d just taken a shower.
What had Song Shihuai done with this body? Why hadn’t he left me a message in the notebook?
How strange.
August 23 – Rain
I know why Song Shihuai won’t come out.
He wasn’t clean anymore.
He still hadn’t appeared that morning. It was as though he had never existed.
I was worried.
When I tried wheeling myself into the courtyard to lure him out, an unwelcome visitor appeared.
The so-called Boss Lu approached and reached out to pinch my cheek. I gave him a cold look and slapped his hand away.
Without warning, he seized me by the throat and nearly lifted me out of the wheelchair. Then he leaned close and whispered something that almost drove me mad.
“You hate me so much, but didn’t you still let me have my way with you yesterday?”
At first, I didn’t believe him. But Song Shihuai hadn’t appeared for two days, and I remembered waking the day before after someone had bathed this body. I had suspected that someone had caused trouble.
I simply hadn’t imagined that the bastard standing before me had…
Song Shihuai… Song Shihuai…
He was so lively, so optimistic. He had warmed me like a little sun and made me want to live again.
How could this bastard… How dare he do that to him?
“Do… you… know… that’s… a crime…”
“Hey, don’t accuse me of something I didn’t do. I didn’t go all the way,” Boss Lu said with an evil smile. “I didn’t do that, but I did everything else.”
“You need to understand that no one who defies me in this place ever meets a good end.”
“That little bastard who died last month didn’t. Neither did Old Wang’s late spouse. Neither did the Song girl and her boyfriend.”
“And neither will you.”
“Too bad Old Wang still thinks his spouse died from a sudden heart attack… That isn’t the whole truth.”
“They had the heart attack while I was having my men take turns on them.”
“What do you think? Scary, isn’t it? I’ve got plenty of lives on my hands, and look at me: I’m still doing just fine.”
“I make the rules here.”
Just as I thought I was about to suffocate, he finally released me. I collapsed into the wheelchair, coughing helplessly.
“You’ll… cough… be punished by heaven… cough, cough…”
“Then let’s see what kind of heavenly punishment could possibly touch me.”
“The rich and powerful are everyone’s daddies, after all.”
“And me? I’m the granddaddy.”
August 24 – Overcast
I cut my wrist. Someone found me.
I claimed I needed the bathroom and tried to drown myself in the sink. I failed.
Then I said I couldn’t sleep with anyone watching me and tried to strangle myself with cotton thread pulled from the quilt. I failed again.
After that, they locked me up.
I hurt all of them.
…I don’t want to live.
August 25
I’m imprisoned in this room. They give me water but no food.
My empty stomach cramps. No one cares.
I’m afraid of the dark. I pound desperately on the door until my hands are drenched in blood. No one knows.
It becomes harder and harder to breathe. I keep tearing at my collar, trying to draw air. No one pays attention.
I am utterly alone. I have no one. I have nowhere to turn. There is not a soul beside me.
I have nothing.
Will someone please save me?
August 26 – Overcast
They let me out.
But they are still watching me.
They installed a camera in my room.
August 27 – Rain
I don’t know where I am.
I don’t know what I did wrong.
I only asked who I was. They tied me up and put me in a vehicle.
Then they dragged me out and took me into a building.
The sign read:
XX City Psychiatric Hospital.
August 28 – Clear
I made a deal with the nurse. If I’m good and do as she says, she’ll give me candy and take me outside to play.
Mm. All right. I forgive her for always sticking me with needles.
August 29 – Clear
The nurse pushed me outside to play today.
I’m so happy!
The man in black was so handsome. The woman beside him was beautiful too.
But why did I have the strange feeling that I should have been the one beside that man?
How odd.
August 30 – Clear
I remember now.
The nurse said my name today.
My name is Liang Anping.
I’m a university professor.
The man yesterday was my ex-boyfriend.
He is Tang Shaoxuan.
I hate him.
August 31 – Overcast
The greatest regret of my life is meeting Tang Shaoxuan.
In my next life, please don’t let me meet him again.
I was never worthy of his love.