Chapter 8
“Marchioness,” the Grand Princess said with a cold laugh, “what do you think you are doing to my daughter?”
“Whose daughter? I carried her for ten months and gave birth to her!”
Mother’s face burned with anger. “Her surname is Li. She is a child of the marquis’s household. Does the Grand Princess intend to steal another woman’s daughter in broad daylight?”
“So you know we are in broad daylight. Did you forget when you raised your hand to strike her?”
The Grand Princess flung Mother’s wrist away. “Now you remember that you gave birth to her?”
“Where were you when she spent all night at Jing’an Temple in pain, crying for her mother?” the Grand Princess demanded. “Where were you when she fell into the water and lay unconscious?”
“…This is a private family matter.” Mother’s lips trembled as she looked at me. “Li Xiaoman, come home with me.”
“I will not.” I met her gaze and calmly repeated, “I will not go back.”
“There is no place for me in your heart, only my elder sister. Before she came home, you never held me.”
“After she returned, you favored her in everything. Everything in her courtyard was better than mine. Her grapes were sweeter, she had more maids, and even when you gave her a gold hairpin, there was nothing for me.”
So many people in the eastern pavilion were watching. Shielded behind the Grand Princess, I faced my own birth mother.
“Because she was ill, you ignored my high fever and insisted that I kneel at Jing’an Temple for seven more days to obtain a charm for her.”
“Because she cried and made a scene, you gave in. You were even willing to force me to surrender my marriage.”
“Mother.” I looked at her pale face and asked softly, “Li Shuyun is precious. Am I nothing at all?”
“You are always like this, comparing yourself to your sister in everything.” Mother sneered. “Li Xiaoman, you have not changed.”
“You are calling her Mama on purpose to anger me, aren’t you?” Mother’s fingers crushed her handkerchief. “You belong to the marquis’s household. You will have to return eventually.”
“That is not quite right, Honored Mother-in-law.” Pei Mingjue, who had remained silent until now, stepped forward and bowed to Mother. “I have asked my imperial uncle to bestow a marriage upon us.”
Pei Mingjue was the picture of grace and courtesy. “Barring any accident, the imperial decree should arrive at the marquis’s estate tomorrow.”
Only Pei Mingjue and I rode in the carriage back to the Grand Princess’s residence.
I sat with my knees drawn to my chest, staring blankly into space.
A soft brocade handkerchief touched my forehead. Pei Mingjue wiped the sweat from my cheeks and neck.
“Mother has gone to the palace to see His Majesty,” he said gently. “Do not worry. Uncle was practically raised by her.”
I seemed to come back to myself. “…Why has Mama gone to the palace?”
“She wants to ask that you be granted the title of County Lady,” Pei Mingjue said. “Mother is worried about you. With a title, the marquis’s household will not dare control you in the future.”
“And of course, once you and I are married, you will have even greater protection.”
I blinked. Color slowly flooded my face, and I curled in on myself even more tightly.
“You are only realizing it now?” Pei Mingjue laughed and flicked my forehead. Leaning closer, he asked, “Xiaoman, are you willing to marry me?”
“…I don’t know.” I looked into his eyes and answered honestly. “I don’t know what I feel for you.”
“But if marrying you means…” I said quietly, “that I can stay with Mama, then I am willing.”
Pei Mingjue fell silent for a long moment. With a soft sigh, he ruffled my hair.
“You will stay with Mother. You have only just come of age. In three years, I will set up a household of my own.”
“We will marry then. It will be no more than a formality—sending you from my residence back to the Grand Princess’s residence in a bridal procession.”
I raised my head. “Why three years?”
“Surely three years”—Pei Mingjue smiled—“will be enough for you to understand what you feel for me.”
In the third year after I came of age, Pei Mingjue set up his own household. It was deep winter, and he and I were fishing beside the frozen lake.
Mama reclined against a soft cushion in the warm pavilion, turning the pages of a book. The years lay quiet and kind around us, broken only by an occasional crack as snow-laden branches gave way.
As I climbed the steps with a fish in hand, I saw the steward hurrying over from the distance with someone behind him.
My heart lurched. The man was from the Marquis of Changning’s household. I remembered him even now.
A strip of white mourning cloth was tied around his left arm. The moment he saw me, he dropped to his knees. “Second Miss, the eldest young mistress is gone!”