Chapter 1
My name was not originally Xiaoman.
When I was eight, my parents brought my elder sister, Li Shuyun, back to the marquis’s estate.
During the Mid-Autumn Festival, His Majesty bestowed upon our family a crouching rabbit carved from creamy white jade.
Father, merry with wine, decided that the younger generation should play a flying-flower verse game.
“The theme is the moon. Whoever outlasts the rest of you wins this jade rabbit.”
I had always possessed a flawless memory and a quick mind. After five rounds, even my brother dropped out.
In the end, only Li Shuyun and I remained.
Her voice was soft, her face shy and delicate. She hesitated for ages, unable to produce the next line.
I was still young and spoke without tact. “Then the jade rabbit is mine!”
Li Shuyun said nothing, but her eyes slowly reddened. Great tears suddenly spilled down her cheeks.
The lively mood froze. Mother was the first to react, gathering her into her arms. “Oh, my poor darling.”
Li Shuyun buried her face against Mother’s chest and sobbed, “Mother.”
“It’s only that she couldn’t think of another line.” I was baffled. “What is there to cry about?”
No one paid me any attention. Everyone crowded around to coax and comfort her; my brother even produced a handkerchief.
“It is only a piece of jade.” Father looked pained. “Why not let your elder sister have it?”
“Why should I?” I shouted. “I won it fair and square.”
Since Li Shuyun had arrived, not only had her allowance and household allotments been more generous than mine, but she had also been given the finest courtyard.
“I won’t give it up.” Resentment had been building inside me for so long that it finally burst free. “The jade rabbit is mine.”
“Enough!” Mother snapped. “You must come out on top in everything. You have not a shred of consideration for anyone else.”
Her gaze was cold. “Li Shuquan, you disappoint me.”
That was the last time Mother ever called me by that name.
Crack!
The ruler struck my palm, leaving it burning.
Mother sat in the place of honor and asked, “Do you admit you were wrong?”
“I wasn’t wrong,” I said stubbornly. “I won it honestly, so the jade rabbit belongs to me.”
Crack!
The ruler sliced through the air again. The sharp pain tore a cry from my throat.
“What did I do wrong?” I asked through my tears. “Why do I have to give it to her?”
“Because she is your elder sister!” Mother said. “She was born sickly, so we sent her to a Daoist temple to live in seclusion and recuperate.”
“We were separated for years. Do you know how much she suffered away from home? What is so terrible about yielding to her?”
I lowered my head, sniffling as I fought desperately to hold back my tears.
“You used to compete with your brother over everything. Now that Shuyun is here, you fight her for everything too.”
Mother sighed. “Why must you always be so headstrong and determined to win?”
My vision blurred. The ache rising in my chest pressed painfully against my throat, leaving me unable to speak.
But then Mother set down the ruler, took my hand, and drew me into her arms.
Soft warmth and fragrance enveloped me. Mother lowered her eyes and gently stroked my swollen palm.
She rarely held me so tenderly. That one embrace was enough to sweep away every grievance in a rush of delight.
“The master was right. The day we brought Shuyun home, he said your destinies clashed.”
“Shuyun was born with little good fortune, while your destiny is too strong. For the past two weeks, I have wondered whether I should change your name.”
I stared up at her. The tears I had held back for so long fell like pearls from a broken string.
“All things are at their finest when they are only just full; what is not yet complete still has room to grow. From now on, your name will be Xiaoman.”
“You must understand,” Mother said. “In this life, never insist on making everything perfect and complete.”