Chapter 3
My head snapped to the side. My vermilion hairpin flew loose, and disheveled hair fell across half my face.
The relentless ringing in my ears and the sharp pain came a heartbeat later.
“Be quiet!” Mother’s hand and body were both trembling. “How can you say something so vicious?”
“Is it more vicious than what you do?” Hatred burned through my tears. “When you tell me to yield, I have to yield. When you tell me to endure, I have no choice but to endure.”
“Li Shuyun is precious. Am I nothing at all?”
Mother said nothing. The shadows cast by the candlelight concealed her expression.
After a long while, the beaded curtain chimed as she turned and left.
Our relationship reached an impasse. At the same time, Li Shuyun’s old illness flared, and Mother attended her personally. Two months passed without a word between us.
On the eve of the Dragon Boat Festival, Father summoned me alone to his study.
“Go to Jing’an Temple,” he said without preamble. “Ask for a protective charm for your mother.”
My brow twitched. I looked up at him in surprise.
“Your mother suffered after she slapped you too,” Father said. “You take after her. You are both too stubborn to bow your heads.”
“That night, she sent someone to bring you ointment. She tossed and turned and did not sleep until well past midnight.”
“Every day for the past two months, before the sound of your footsteps can reach the gallery when you return from lessons, she is already waiting at the window for you.”
My heart tightened. A rare tenderness rippled slowly outward through the ache.
“She was probably awake thinking about Sister,” I said with a self-mocking smile. “She has never waited for me.”
“She nearly died giving birth to you. You are flesh of her flesh.”
Father sighed. “Shuyun was born frail and spent so many years away from home. Your mother has always felt guilty toward her.”
“Go. I have written to Master Wujue. Recite scripture for seven days and obtain a charm.”
“Once she sees it upon your return, whatever resentment remains between you should melt away.”
The next day, I rode to Jing’an Temple.
On the road into the mountains, I encountered an imposing procession—a long train of ornate carriages and an impeccably ordered escort.
Sitting tall in the saddle, I wondered what great personage could command such splendor.
Just then, the man at the head of the procession turned to look at me from atop a white horse.
He held the reins in one hand, his posture as straight as a pine, his brocade robe draped over the horse’s back.
A golden crown bound his hair and a silver belt clasped his waist. Although he wore red, his bearing was cool and stern.
Our gazes met. What a magnificent white horse with a silver mane, I thought—and what a handsome young lord.
“Has something happened? Why have we stopped?”
The largest carriage behind the handsome young lord halted. A richly dressed, beautiful woman lifted its curtain.
“Which family does this young lady belong to?” she asked with a smile. “Such a striking girl.”
The woman was nearly fifty. Her brows arched gently, two fine lines fanning from the corners of her long, gracious eyes.
Only a woman of the highest rank could wear her headdress. I understood her identity at once, dismounted, and bowed.
“Greetings, Your Highness. I am Li Xiaoman of the Marquis of Changning’s household.”
“So it truly is you. I thought I recognized you from afar. It seems I was right.”
The Grand Princess said, “Few young ladies possess the spirit to ride all the way to Jing’an Temple.”
Puzzled, I straightened and asked, “Your Highness knows me?”
“You were wonderfully nimble and athletic at the palace polo match last year. I watched the entire game from the eastern pavilion.”
“At the end, you won the pearl His Majesty had offered as the prize. Before you had even found your footing after dismounting, you ran straight to the marchioness with it.”
The Grand Princess continued, “I remember thinking how fortunate the marchioness was to have such a devoted daughter.”
I smiled but could not find a word to say.
In truth, Mother had left halfway through that polo match.
Li Shuyun had been unable to eat lunch. Sick with worry, Mother rushed home without leaving so much as a message.
I had known nothing. When I ran over with the pearl cupped joyfully in my hands, only her maid remained.