Chapter 6
After that, I often went to stay with the Xu family to avoid Xie Ruo’an.
Fortunately, Chu Ying’s wedding was soon upon us.
That day, lanterns and festive decorations filled the governor’s residence.
Xu Xingzhi came as well, offering Xie Ruo’an his congratulations as my betrothed.
He had actually visited several times before, discussing affairs on both banks with Father and bringing fresh fish and other river delicacies for Mother and me.
But this was his first encounter with Xie Ruo’an here.
The residence was crowded with guests. Xu Xingzhi went over to congratulate him.
Before long, he returned wearing a rather odd expression.
He asked me
whether Marquis Xie had a bad temper. Why had he walked away scowling after only a few words?
I could not help being curious. “What did you say?”
“Nothing much,” Xu Xingzhi said. “Only that since the bride is your adopted sister, he and I will be brothers-in-law. If anything comes up, we can look out for each other.”
“And he turned around and left.”
I thought I understood.
Xie Ruo’an despised Xu Xingzhi’s humble origins.
Still, they were never going to be allies anyway.
“Pay him no mind,” I said.
Before Chu Ying boarded her carriage, I went to see her and gave her a few gifts for her dowry.
Our eyes met.
Holding her bridal fan, her brows broadly painted and her lips red, she gave a little smile with tears in her eyes.
Then she bowed to me with impeccable form.
“Thank you.”
“Only now do I understand what it cost you to expose Marquis Xie’s mistake when he came to propose.”
After a moment’s silence, I said only,
“It wasn’t your doing.”
It truly had nothing to do with her. After today, we might never meet again.
And if we did, it would most likely be as enemies on opposite sides of a war.
Chu Ying married at the turn of autumn and winter.
That winter was unusually mild.
Far fewer refugees froze to death outside the city.
Father set up the customary porridge stations, and I helped.
I heard many people say that perhaps there would be no famine next year. Perhaps better days were coming.
I looked up at the gray sky and knew they were not.
From here on, war would rage, the starved would lie across the fields, and fighting would grow ever more frequent. The world would only become more chaotic.
All I could do was search my memories of the past life and try not to waste our efforts.
Winter passed into spring.
The following year, Xu Xingzhi and I married.
This time, Mother wept bitterly, and even Father was moved.
The dowry they prepared for me stretched for miles.
Few people knew that it included military treatises, medical texts, weapons, and other things desperately needed in these times.
Many Cui advisers accompanied the bridal procession as well.
The sun sank in the west, and swallows and sparrows chirped. Following the rites, Xu Xingzhi came to welcome me in black wedding robes. In the bridal pavilion newly erected in the southwest corner of the Xu residence, we knelt facing one another, bowed, shared the ritual meal, and drank from paired cups.
And so we became husband and wife, to share honor and disgrace alike.
Afterward, we entered our chamber. Before I could speak,
Xu Xingzhi said, “I will sleep elsewhere. I won’t disturb you… my wife.”
I nodded. “Very well.”
That night, the moon was bright and the breeze clear.
I removed my makeup and washed my face. Looking at myself in the mirror, I could not help remembering my former life: how joyfully I had married Xie Ruo’an, only to meet such an end.
In this life, my marriage to Xu Xingzhi was largely a matter of mutual advantage. But what lay ahead was still unknown.
I tossed and turned that night, unable to sleep.
Fortunately, married life was no different from my earlier visits to the Xu residence.
Xu Zhiyuan had begun studying military texts.
When we had time, Xu Xingzhi and I read with him.
Seeing this, the Xu advisers wept with emotion.
“Now that we have our lady, our lord will finally read!”
Only then did I discover that Xu Xingzhi disliked reading. Yet when I had invited him that morning, he had accepted so happily.
I glanced over. He held his book upright and sat perfectly straight, looking nothing like a reluctant reader.
But Xu Zhiyuan took one look, went over, and removed the book. Xu Xingzhi’s eyes were shut. He was sound asleep.
The advisers stared, then covered their faces and left.
More often, Xu Xingzhi taught me riding and archery, while I discussed warfare on the plains with him. I also learned how to move quickly between boats on the surging river and how to swim across it.
That year, someone raised troops to defend the emperor, then used him to command the other lords.
Warlords rose on every side. Xie Ruo’an was among them.
The south fell into disorder, too.
I campaigned with Xu Xingzhi, organizing household affairs, rewarding the soldiers’ families, winning over the families of our enemies…
My memories of the previous life were enough to see me through.