Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I warily sat off to one side. He smiled and took a seat across from me, teasing, “Why are you running? Do I look like I eat people?”

I was still holding a grudge, and before I knew it, I actually nodded.

He did not get angry. Instead, he laughed heartily and said, “In the past, whenever you saw me, you were either cold or stiffly proper. Seeing you show your true nature like this is truly rare.”

I was terrified, with no idea what he was trying to pull. Carefully, I asked, “Your Highness dismissed everyone. Is there something you need?”

He raised a brow and smiled at me. “There is. I wanted to ask, if I decide to sleep here tonight, what will you do?”

I forcibly swallowed down a great many disrespectful things. I had to say something that would immediately kill his interest.

“Your Highness is my lord. Naturally, it is as you say. What could I possibly do?”

I did not get the displeasure I was waiting for. Instead, he clasped his hands behind his back and leaned in close. He was so near that I did not even dare breathe too loudly. I turned my head away on instinct, feeling my face burn. He laughed, straightened up, and said in an extraordinarily punchable tone, “Even if you want me to stay, I am not staying. Yunnong and I discussed it, and for the next little while, I will be visiting Hu Liangdi until she recovers. I am leaving now. I am going to see Hu Liangdi.”

Still with his hands clasped behind his back, he strode out the door. I could imagine that infuriating expression of his with my toes.

Very quietly, I breathed out two words. “He’s sick.”

He did, in fact, keep his promise. For five days in a row, he stayed at Hu Mianmian’s place. Hu Mianmian’s illness recovered all at once, and she was able to play with Chan’er and me like before.

As soon as Hu Mianmian recovered, the Crown Prince immediately went back to keep the Crown Princess company. Though this was an outcome we had all foreseen, I was still worried Hu Mianmian would be heartbroken. So I secretly asked her, “Mianmian, will you ever be that sad again?”

That day, she was pushing me on the swing in my courtyard.

She caught hold of the swing, then pushed me even higher. Startled by that sudden move, I hurriedly gripped the ropes tighter.

Hu Mianmian noticed my panic, and her pushes grew gentler. I turned back to look at her and found her gazing at the drifting clouds on the horizon, the corners of her mouth curved in an utterly contented smile. She answered, “No. Never again.”

For some reason, a sudden fear surrounded me from behind. I wanted to stop and comfort her, but she pushed me higher again.

Instead, she comforted me. “Yueying, don’t be afraid. I won’t do anything foolish. I just… figured it out. Before, I thought I was unhappy because he never came to see me. Later, when he did come, I realized my real unhappiness was because he doesn’t love me. You could beg for his person to come to me, but you could not beg his heart here.”

I forced the swing to a stop, got up, and turned back to look at her.

Had she truly let go, or had another person with a heart turned to ashes simply appeared? Should I be happy for her, or grieve for her?

She held my hand, signaling for me not to worry. Then she said, “But those few days felt as if half a lifetime had already passed.”

In the past, whenever she made infatuated remarks about the Crown Prince, I would always call her boy-crazy. Thinking on it carefully now, even teasing between friends had profaned the sincerity of her heart.

I had always underestimated her love for the Crown Prince. What she longed for and hoped for, what disappointed her day after day, was not loneliness from being hidden away deep in the palace. It was because she was a living, breathing person who truly, deeply loved someone.

I still had no way to understand that feeling. Perhaps I never would in this lifetime. Maybe because if I fell in love with the Crown Prince, it would tear my dignity to shreds. Or maybe because in this life, I had no chance to love anyone at all.

That night, I had Mianmian stay and sleep with me. It turned out Mianmian was such a restless sleeper that I tucked the blanket over her several times. In the middle of the night, Chan’er made a fuss, insisting on seeing me. Her wet nurse could not coax her, so she carried her into my room.

At first, I was afraid Chan’er would disturb Mianmian and wanted to carry her somewhere else to soothe her. To my surprise, Mianmian was already awake and said she wanted to hold Chan’er as they slept. Chan’er was quite good at reading the room. She hugged Hu Mianmian, kissed and cuddled her, and called her Mother Mianmian in her sweet little baby voice. After playing for a while, the two of them fell asleep. I sat on the soft couch and watched them with a smile.

Afterward, I was worried about the two “children” sleeping together and wanted to secretly carry Chan’er back to her own room. In the darkness, my hand touched Hu Mianmian’s pillow, and I realized a large patch of it was already wet.

I did not know how to describe that feeling. It was as if, inside my heart, ten thousand years of snow had fallen for someone else.