Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I had waited with all my heart, hoping that Mianmian might also conceive a child after those few days. But two months later, what came instead was news that Hu Mianmian had fallen ill.

I went to Hu Mianmian’s room and asked her maid, Yingying, what had caused it. Yingying dropped to her knees, weeping as she said, “Yesterday, Liangdi heard that the Crown Prince had been drinking. She had heard from the Crown Princess before that the Crown Prince cannot hold his liquor, and that whenever he drinks, he loses his temper. Worried about the Crown Prince, she went in person to deliver sobering soup. The weather was perfectly fine when she left, but when she arrived at the Crown Prince’s residence, she found the Crown Princess personally attending to him, so she decided to return to her room. On the way back, it suddenly began to rain. We servants urged Liangdi to take shelter while we went back for an umbrella to escort her, but Liangdi refused. She walked back through the rain. We already helped Liangdi take a hot bath, but this morning, Liangdi could not get out of bed. It is all because we servants were negligent and failed to serve Liangdi properly. Side Consort, please punish us.”

I told Yingying to rise. “Enough. Get up. I know your Liangdi’s temperament. Once that stubborn streak of hers comes over her, even I cannot stop her. Since you know where you failed, make up for it by taking proper care of Hu Liangdi. If there is anything you need, report it to the Crown Princess and me at once. Remember this: no matter how her condition changes, you must not hide it from me.”

I knew that all I could do next was devote myself to caring for Hu Mianmian. Hu Mianmian was burning with fever and remained unconscious for a long time.

The Crown Prince and the Crown Princess both came to see her, and both were extremely anxious.

In truth, I did not want to see this husband and wife at all. If not for the two of them, Mianmian would never have ended up like this.

The Crown Prince noticed my displeasure and said to me, “Hu Liangdi’s illness began because of me. I will come to see her often. Yueying, rest assured. Mianmian will recover.”

The Crown Princess hurriedly blamed herself as well. “How can His Highness be at fault? Clearly, the blame lies with me. I was careless and did not consider Mianmian’s feelings. And after Mianmian called me elder sister, after she was so good to Zhiyi… This is my fault.”

I rose and answered with a respectful salute. “Your Highnesses need not blame yourselves. I will not blame you, nor would I dare.”

Just as the Crown Prince seemed about to say more, the imperial physician finished his examination and came forward to report.

“Reporting to Your Highness the Crown Prince: Hu Liangdi’s weakness, caused by long-standing melancholy, had not fully healed. Now she has been chilled by the rain. If her high fever does not subside, it is very possible that…”

“Possible that what?” I immediately pressed.

The imperial physician continued, “It is very possible that her lamp has run dry, and even the heavens can no longer save her.”

All the strength seemed to leave my body. My vision went black, and I collapsed to the floor.

The Crown Princess and Rong Niang quickly helped me up. The Crown Prince said sternly, “I do not want to hear this. I only want to hear news that Hu Liangdi has recovered.”

I was truly afraid. I could not lose Hu Mianmian. I did not even dare imagine it.

I could not let my Mianmian worry, so I clutched my skirts and cried without a sound.

How ironic. How pitiful.

Hu Mianmian’s beloved was right beside her, yet she had fallen ill from longing for him. She had always been lively and cheerful, always healthy, never seriously ill. And yet, simply because she had fallen in love with someone, it had nearly taken her life.

After a while, word came from the inner chamber that Hu Mianmian had awakened. I rushed in at once. The Crown Prince and the Crown Princess followed as well.

Hu Mianmian’s face was flushed red from the fever, and there was not a trace of color in her lips. I held her hand, forced back my tears, and squeezed out a smile as I said, “Mianmian, you’re feeling a little better, aren’t you? I’ll call the imperial physician in right now.”

Her voice trembled, weak and faint, as she stopped me. “No need. Yueying. No need.”

“What do you mean, no need? Why are you still throwing a childish tantrum at a time like this? You have to get better. If you don’t, what will I do? What am I supposed to do?” My voice had already begun to turn frantic. Inside, I was even worse.

She gripped my hand tightly and used nearly all her strength to say, “I know my own body. Make them all leave. All of them. Leave only the two of us.”

Seeing this, the Crown Prince sighed again and again, then led the others out.

Only I remained kneeling by Mianmian’s bed, weeping as I pressed her still-burning hand to my cheek. Through my tears, I asked her, “What about the Crown Prince? You won’t see the Crown Prince either?”

She smiled faintly and said, still weak, “I won’t. I’m afraid that if I see him, I won’t be able to bear leaving.”

“I am your elder sister. Listen to me. Let the imperial physician come and treat you. I beg you. I am begging you to live. Don’t leave me alone. Chan’er likes you. She even calls you Mother Mianmian. Please, live.”

I cried as I pleaded with her.

She still refused treatment, tears sliding from her eyes as well.

“What a pity,” she whispered with the deepest regret in her expression. “It was too rushed. I should have seen Father and Mother.”

“Yueying, when I go to the heavens, I will become a cloud beside the moon. I want to watch you live a happy life. A whole lifetime… a whole lifetime…”

I felt the strength suddenly leave her hand, as if her soul had slipped away from my grasp. Her eyes were already shut tight, but her expression was utterly peaceful. In ordinary days, she had been such a little crybaby. Now, too, she left with tears on her face.

I screamed her name like a madwoman. Like a madwoman, I called for the imperial physician. I waited for a miracle to appear.

But all I saw was the imperial physician kneeling in terror and regret.