Chapter 4

Chapter 4

It so happened that they were traveling the same route as my army.

Because of this, I allowed them to travel along with us.

During the journey, Xu Xingzhou was endlessly grateful to me. He was always filled with guilt, knowing full well how much he had failed his wife and child. Yet every time he tried to make amends, his younger sister would distract him, claiming her head ached one moment and her foot pained her the next to draw his attention away.

On the rare occasions when that sister wasn’t around, Wanqiu remained cold and distant.

His eyes would dim with sorrow.

I once asked Wanqiu, “Are you not angry?”

Wanqiu shook her head with a bitter smile. “In the past, I likely would have caused a scene, my heart chilled by his actions. But now that I have a child in my womb, I’ve come to terms with it. As long as my child is safe and sound, I don’t care who he likes or who he’s with. I won’t interfere. What does it have to do with me? Why should I be angry?”

She told me they were childhood sweethearts, but they had fought many times because of a distant female cousin. This time, she was simply exhausted.

Most of the time, she stayed by my side, her eyes full of envy as she looked at me. Born into a scholarly family, she had been taught the Three Obediences and Four Virtues since childhood. That square courtyard was like a cage; for the sake of her family, she had no choice but to bind herself within it. Yet when she looked up and saw the swallows in the sky, she couldn’t help but feel envious.

That was why she loved listening to my stories of the Frontier. And I, in turn, enjoyed her company.

Since I was a child, I never had many friends. Everyone was afraid of me. Only she wasn’t.

When it was time to part ways, she walked with me for a long distance. Cradling her prominent baby bump, she smiled and said, “You were the one who saved him. When he is born, he ought to recognize you as his mother.”

Back then, I had not yet experienced the pain of losing my brothers and kin. Hearing her words, I laughed heartily and tossed her a longevity lock. “Then you must teach him,” I called out, “that his mother’s name is Song Yunying!”

I had carved the characters on that longevity lock myself. On the front, ‘Peace and Safety’; on the back, ‘May You Live a Hundred Years’. It was signed: ‘Song, given name Yunying’.

And the name Wanqiu eventually gave the child was Suisui.

“Suisui?”

I picked her up, examining her features, and asked urgently, “Where is your mother?”

How could she have let the child come to this Frontier land all alone?!

After our parting, Wanqiu and I had exchanged letters. But later, as I led my troops to station at the border and the wars became relentless, several of my letters went unanswered. When I asked the courier, he only said the Marchioness was doing well.

Thus, I assumed that since she was far away in Jinling, her status dictated that she shouldn’t have any association with a woman like me, a Rakshasi with a fearsome reputation. I consciously stopped writing as often, sending only one letter a year to let her know I was safe. It didn’t matter if she didn’t reply, as long as she knew.

But now, hearing my question, Suisui froze for a moment before suddenly bursting into loud, wailing sobs.

“A-Ma… A-Ma is dead!”

*Boom.*

A sudden flash of lightning and a roar of thunder shook the horizon.