Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I walked out of the police station in a daze.

Across the street, a car was parked by the curb.

Zhou Yanzhi leaned silently against it, a cigarette held between his cold, pale fingers. His dim gaze pinned me in place like a lock snapping shut.

At this point, there was no use hiding anything anymore.

I walked up to him and tried to speak as calmly as I could. “Where’s Cheng Yi?”

He looked at me as if he hadn’t heard a word.

I gave a bitter smile. “Don’t be like this. I’m going back tomorrow.”

“Back where?”

I didn’t dare meet his eyes. In a small voice, I said, “The Underworld.”

“What do you mean?”

“Coming back to life this time… was an accident,” I said carefully. “I’m dead. In the end, the only place I can stay is the Underworld.”

He lowered his eyes and stayed silent for a long, long time. Then he let out a cold laugh. “You’re still like this.”

My heart clenched, again and again.

I crouched down and cupped his face in my hands.

“Zhou Yanzhi, I’ve been gone for so many years. Haven’t you been doing just fine without me? You’re Dr. Zhou now, someone everyone looks up to. You have such a bright future, and…”

My voice caught a little. “And a girlfriend you love.”

“Cheng Yi told me about it. You two fell in love at first sight. I’m happy for you.”

Zhou Yanzhi seemed to smile. Slowly, he repeated, “Love at first sight?”

I pretended not to hear and went on.

“In a few more years, I might go and be reincarnated. We won’t see each other again. You have to live your own life well. Like you’ve always insisted on doing, be a good doctor.”

I forced a smile, trying hard to make myself look a little more cheerful.

Back when Zhou Yanzhi was working on his doctorate, he’d thrown himself into relentless pressure day and night.

No one but family could truly understand how hard it was to study medicine.

I used to tease him like this all the time to make him laugh.

I just didn’t know why, this time, the smile failed.

The more I tried to hold it, the more it turned into a crying face.

Everyone has their own fate.

Maybe this was as far as our destiny together went.

“Reincarnated?”

A smile seeped slowly across Zhou Yanzhi’s face. “In your dreams.”

I was brought back to the home we once shared.

Everything that belonged to me, from something as big as my pillow to something as small as a hair tie, had been carefully left where it had always been.

For one dazed moment, it felt as if I had only returned from a long trip.

Nothing had changed. It was exactly as it had been before I left.

Except for one thing.

I pointed at the empty white wall. “Where’s the Banner Wall I made for you?”

Zhou Yanzhi pressed his lips together and didn’t answer.

The Banner Wall had been the New Year’s gift I’d prepared for him with so much care.

Everyone had seen Zhou Yanzhi’s surgical skills for themselves.

No matter how complicated the case, he could calmly break it down and handle it.

After working for several years, many patients had survived because of his seriousness and almost ruthless precision.

They were grateful to him and sent him thank-you banners of their own accord.

Zhou Yanzhi had a cold personality and never cared for taking credit, so he never paid them any mind.

I, on the other hand, happily folded each one neatly and put it away every time.

Something occurred to me, and I frowned at him. “Why were you trying to get yourself killed all the time a while back?”

Burning charcoal with all the doors and windows shut, sleeping on train tracks, swallowing an entire bottle of sleeping pills…

If Black and White Impermanence hadn’t been on good terms with me, how would I ever have had the chance to save him over and over again?

But Zhou Yanzhi said, “All these years since you left, I never dreamed of you once.”

I heard the resentment in his words and lowered my head awkwardly.

I wanted to come to the mortal world to see him too, but King Yan wouldn’t allow it.

A ghost like me, who had died a violent death, carried malice on her body.

Not only was it hard for us to reincarnate, we were also forbidden from going to the mortal world without permission.

Zhou Yanzhi said softly, “I wasn’t trying to get myself killed.”

“I just… missed you too much.”

He looked at me in silence, his gaze falling over me like countless needles packed close together.

It hurt so much that my whole body ached.

A long time ago, Zhou Yanzhi had been beaten until he was covered in blood, lying beside a trash can like a dying little tiger.

I had felt the same way then.

I once asked Zhou Yanzhi, very formally and solemnly-

Why he wanted to marry me.

The money I lent him had already been paid back through part-time jobs before he graduated.

After all these years, I was still only a pretty girl selling tanghulu.

But he had already transformed his life. He had entered the hospital at the top of his field, highly valued by everyone there.

He was no longer an unknown, down-and-out student, but Dr. Zhou, a man respected by all with a brilliant future ahead of him.

He had plenty of better choices. For example, the hospital director’s daughter, who secretly adored him.

Zhou Yanzhi gazed at me, so many emotions surging in his pitch-black pupils.

I thought he would confess his love to me and say something earth-shatteringly moving.

But he didn’t.

He smiled and patted my hand, his voice very soft. “Other than you, no one wants me.”