Chapter 7

Queen Jinsheng might have made up her mind, but we still had to try again if we wanted our travel papers stamped.

Eldest Brother had to try again.

Little Sister did not.

I huddled in a dark corner. “Go, Brother!”

Third Brother gloomily sidled up beside me. “Go, Eldest Brother.”

Second Brother squeezed in on my other side. “Go, Eldest Brother! I’ll protect Little Sister!”

Master was silent for a moment, then hung me around his own neck. “Amitabha. Wukong, go and return quickly.”

Eldest Brother gave me a cool look.

I pretended not to notice.

“Didn’t you say you had to come with me precisely because it was dangerous?

“Didn’t you say you were going to protect me?”

My tail brushed Second Brother’s hand as I said mournfully, “Eldest Brother, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak!

“I’d only get in your way!”

Second Brother pointed at me and laughed. “Little Sister knows her own limits, huh?”

Eldest Brother glanced at him. His golden-hooped staff abruptly struck the ground, and the earth itself seemed to groan.

Second Brother quietly let go of my tail and shut his mouth. Third Brother quietly moved to another dark corner.

The golden-hooped staff suddenly lengthened toward me.

I looked at Eldest Brother.

Then at the staff.

“?”

“Get on.”

“…Oh.”

I coiled up the staff and onto his arm. He paused, then suddenly blew a breath at me.

My body shrank until I could coil in his palm.

I looped around his finger. “Brother, don’t I look like a ring?

“I’ve really got you wrapped up now!”

He gently stroked my head with his fingertip, sounding almost helpless. “All right, all right. You’ve got me.”

…My heart suddenly skipped a beat.

Eldest Brother took me to the Golden-Furred Hou’s cave again.

This time, the doors opened before we could kick them.

A man emerged. “Were you the ones who upset my wife earlier?!”

He was handsome and imposing, commanding in his every movement. He looked nothing like the bizarre creature I remembered from television.

I switched sides immediately and pointed at Eldest Brother. “It was him. Nothing to do with me.”

He accepted my accusation with perfect composure. “And what if it was? Golden-Furred Hou, you seized another man’s wife and have been running amok here. You’d better have a very strong backer.

“Stronger than my golden-hooped staff.”

Sorry to say, his backer actually was a little stronger.

It was Bodhisattva Guanyin.

Eldest Brother had little patience for demons who committed every kind of evil. They barely exchanged a few words before the Golden-Furred Hou sneered and charged.

My brother wasn’t remotely flustered. He tucked me inside his robe against his chest, tossed his golden-hooped staff high, caught it, and brought it crashing down toward the Golden-Furred Hou as the earth shook.

The Hou barely blocked it, but the force still knocked him back a step. His expression finally grew serious.

After that.

After that, I couldn’t see.

It was pitch-black inside Eldest Brother’s robe, but the chest beneath it was warm and firm. I shrieked and immediately began swimming about on it in a frenzy of wriggling.

What’s this? A chest! Lick it! What’s this? A chest! Lick it again! What’s this? A chest! Lick it again!

I’m a flower! I’m a tree! I’m a mushroom growing on this chest!

I was a whole mass of dark, twisting, convulsive wriggles. Nobody disliked Sun Wukong—they were just fighting it! Nobody disliked Sun Wukong’s chest—they were just fighting it!

Suddenly, light flooded in. My brother lifted me out of his robe. His ears were faintly red, and he spoke through gritted teeth. “What are you doing in there?”

Hiss hiss hiss. This little snake had no idea what he was talking about.

Eldest Brother transformed me straight into my human shape. “Come on, then. Use your words.”

I whistled and looked into the distance.

He suddenly frowned. “How did you get hurt?”

His fingertip brushed the tip of my nose.

A thread of blood stained it.

Fuck.

Why was my nose bleeding?

His sharply defined face suddenly filled my vision as he examined my nose. “You shouldn’t be injured…”

My nose bled harder.

I hurriedly backed away. “Where’s the Golden-Furred Hou?!”

“I beat him back inside.”

He was still inspecting my injury. “It seems to be an ordinary nosebleed…

“A nosebleed…?” He finally realized. His face and neck turned fiery red. He ground his teeth. “Jiaojiao, you—!”

I started screaming and crawling again. “What’s wrong with liking a little color?! The sky is blue! The grass is green! Fire is red! I’m yellow!

“Nobody needs to be that normal! So what if I’m a little horny?! Is the world going to end because of it?! HUH?!”

Eldest Brother: “…”

He sighed and changed me back into my true form. “All right, all right. Stop losing your mind…”

I bit his finger. “I’m not losing my mind! I’m in great spirits! I’m spectacularly spirited!”

He chuckled. “Yes, yes. Of course you are.”

He had barely finished speaking when the cave doors opened again. He instantly tossed me back inside his robe.

“Sun Wukong. I’ll go back with you.”

I hurriedly poked my head out.

Queen Jinsheng’s eyes were as cold as stars. “I’ll come with you. Leave everyone else alone.”

My brother watched her for a long moment, then finally said, “All right.”

Strange.

If she didn’t want to go, all she had to do was bring out the Purple-Gold Bells. We would have a hard time forcing her.

She could only be going willingly.

But she hated him so much.

My brain felt itchy. Was I about to grow a thought…?