Chapter 1
After playing the supporting female character in ninety-nine worlds, I had broken down, twisted out of shape, and gone over to the dark side.
Aaaaaah, I wanted to writhe and crawl in the shadows and SCREAM!
The System, which had never shown itself before: [All right.]
Me: ?
Then there was a flash of light.
I became a snake spirit.
My minions were gleefully tossing a bald man into a pot. “Tang Sanzang meat for dinner!”
I stared at the bald man named Tang Sanzang.
I had very little to say.
System, are you actually deranged…?
Did I have to be a snake spirit from Journey to the West? One who wouldn’t survive a single episode?
To stay alive, I became Tang Sanzang’s disciple, claiming Guanyin had enlightened me and told me to wait here for the scripture pilgrims.
My eldest fellow disciple looked rather shaken. “We’ve covered over sixty thousand of the hundred and eight thousand li, and survived fifty-four of the eighty-one trials. You’re joining us NOW?!”
“Fate works in mysterious ways,” I said.
My second fellow disciple, the resident genius, said, “The Bodhisattva must really dote on you, letting you wait this long before joining.”
At that, everyone looked at me differently.
Was this the power of having someone in high places?
Second Brother, you have such a way with words. Keep talking.
And so the pilgrimage became a party of five.
But I had been pretty shaken myself when I first arrived.
Tang Sanzang had rosy lips, white teeth, and a handsome, elegant face. Fair enough.
But the three gorgeous men beside him.
Who the hell were YOU?!
Then one of them let out a pig’s squeal.
Wait. Seriously?
How were you Zhu Bajie?
After a long, thoughtful silence, I asked, “Which version are you guys from?”
Everyone: “?”
The System whispered back: [The fanfiction version.]
Me: “?”
On the day I joined, I solemnly promised to work hard on our quest for the scriptures.
But ninety-nine worlds of life as a supporting female character had done a number on me.
I was already a soulless maggot lurking in the dark.
All I did all day was coil around trees, crawling and writhing in the shadows.
When I got tired, I draped myself over Eldest Brother’s golden-hooped staff.
After he flung me off, I hung from Second Brother’s nine-toothed rake instead.
It was a little pointy.
Sometimes I made strange noises in the middle of the night.
Second Brother would leap up in terror and shout, “Eldest Brother! A demon’s taken Master again!”
…Second Brother, you really did have that line on speed dial.
To make some tiny contribution to the team, I decided to steal Second Brother’s line.
Since I knew the plot by heart, getting there first was easy. Before the demon had even touched Master’s collar, I would start bawling, “Eldest Brother! A demon’s taken Master again!”
The demon who hadn’t caught Tang Sanzang yet, Tang Sanzang who hadn’t been caught yet, and Second Brother who was just about to deliver his line would all pause.
Only Eldest Brother would calmly pick up his golden-hooped staff. “Easy.”
D-damn it!
Such dazzling main-character energy!
He had actually pulled off that smug act!
This shadow-dwelling maggot felt personally scorched.