Chapter 5
After supper, Xie Heng stopped reading memorials and said he would teach me to read.
Holding my hand, he wrote both our names stroke by stroke. “What else would Sangsang like to learn?”
I thought hard for a while. “Safety and health.”
“Xie Heng, I want you to be safe and healthy.”
His grip tightened. Without speaking, he guided my hand to write those words.
Before I could say anything, he suddenly pushed me aside and coughed up a great mouthful of blood.
Scarlet spread over the paper, blurring the four characters.
An endless chill and a sharp, spreading ache surged through me. I caught him before he fell and shouted, “Eunuch Fu!”
The physician came quickly, but Xie Heng was already unconscious. He lay on the bed with an ashen face and bloodless lips.
Eunuch Fu turned to me. “Lady Sang, try to relax. His Majesty will be all right.”
Only then did I realize I had almost wrung my skirt to shreds.
Before I could answer, the physician finished taking his pulse and said gravely, “Poison.”
I froze.
Their voices suddenly seemed very far away, muffled, as though reaching me from another place.
“What did His Majesty eat? Bring it for me to examine.”
“The supper Lady Sang brought.”
“There is zhen poison in these fish-broth noodles. Fortunately, His Majesty ate little and was not deeply poisoned. But his health never recovered from the previous poisoning. This ordeal may leave him with an even more stubborn illness…”
Xie Heng’s voice broke through the haze. “Sangsang, are you trembling?”
I opened my mouth. There was too much I wanted to say, and I did not know where to begin.
As I hesitated, he struggled to prop himself up and beckoned. “Come here.”
I approached. Eunuch Fu helped him lean against the headboard. Those long hands reached for mine, and only then did I realize that my hands were shaking and my fingertips were cold.
“Sangsang, what is it you want to say?”
His voice was terribly weak. In the time it took to drink a cup of tea, it had become utterly different from when he was teaching me to write.
Eunuch Fu escorted the physician out to prescribe medicine. Alone with him, I bit my tongue and finally managed, “…I’m sorry.
“Xie Heng, perhaps you should send me out of the palace.”
“Sangsang, I have very little strength. Sit beside me.”
I sat on the edge of the bed, looking at his pale face. Before I could react, he drew me into a very warm embrace.
“Why apologize? The poison was in the noodles you brought. They were meant to be your supper. Has it occurred to you that the poisoner may have been trying to kill you?”
Of course it had occurred to me.
If I had eaten before coming, those noodles would have been in my stomach, and I would be the one lying here.
But… better me than him.
“Let me teach you something, Sangsang. When the circumstances aren’t clear, when the responsibility isn’t yours, don’t apologize. Don’t rush to take all the blame.”
His hand stroked my hair, very gently untangling the tassels caught in it.
“Your parents should have taught you these things. But now that I’ve named you, it’s only natural that I teach you too.”
Resting against his chest, I listened to his heartbeat. Suddenly I raised my head. “But that isn’t certain, is it?”
“What?”
“You’re lying to me,” I said. “If they wanted to hurt me, they wouldn’t poison only the noodles. Besides, Juxia watched over supper the whole time. They had no chance. Only when I went to steam the custard and she followed me could they act. They heard me say I would bring you the noodles too.”
Xie Heng sighed, brushing a fingertip over my chin. “Clever little Fusang.”
I bit my lip. “Was it the chancellor’s household again?”
He smiled. “Sangsang, so many eyes are fixed on this throne. The chancellor’s household is hardly the only one that wants me dead.”
He spoke so lightly, but my heart hurt. The pain ran all the way to my fingertips, forcing me to clutch his robe.
Soon, Eunuch Fu returned with the physician and a bowl of medicine for Xie Heng.
After drinking it and rinsing his mouth, he held my wrist and murmured, “I’m unwell today. I’m afraid I can’t accompany you back to Xuanling Palace. Would you stay here with me?”
I was quiet for a moment, then looked up. “Xie Heng, are you… wheedling?”
He blinked and admitted it quite openly. “Yes.”
So that night, I slept in his palace.
His bed was enormous and soft, and the room held a faint, cool fragrance.
Surrounded by that scent, I rested peacefully in his arms. Just as I was falling asleep, he suddenly took my hand.
“Sangsang, would you like to visit the chancellor’s household?”
I was instantly awake and looked up at him.
Seemingly unaware of my tension, he smiled and stroked my hair. “The chancellor’s long-lost third daughter is now my Lady Sang. Surely she ought to visit her family?”