Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Third Young Master Gu did not answer my question.

Instead, he asked, “What about you? Seeing me as I am now, would you be willing to marry me?”

I thought about it very seriously for quite a while.

“After I marry, can I go outside?

“Will you teach me to read and write?

“Do you hit people?

“Can you bring my wet nurse and my elder brother here so they can live with us?”

Third Young Master Gu smiled.

He said, “Do you know that I have trouble walking? The imperial physician said that without an antidote, I may not even have many years left to live.”

I shook my head.

I truly had not known any of that.

“No one told you?”

“After I was brought back, I only met Mother once. Today was the first time I saw Father. I live in Tongyuan with the other sisters.”

Third Young Master Gu fell silent.

He turned slightly and rummaged through a cloth pouch hanging from his wheeled chair, then took out a porcelain box and handed it to me.

“This is medicine for dispersing bruises and relieving pain. I have used it a few times. If you do not mind, you may have it.”

Of course I did not mind.

My palm burned with pain. It hurt so much.

I immediately took it and smiled at him, happier than I had been all day.

“Third Young Master, thank you.”

“It is nothing. Second Miss, there is no need to be so polite.”

Third Young Master Gu looked at me for so long that my face turned red. I did not understand why he seemed to be pondering, considering, as if he had to make some great decision.

After quite a while, he said, “Second Miss, this meeting between us today is indeed for the matter of marriage. If you do not wish to marry me, I will report it to the elders and have the engagement canceled.”

I tightened my grip around the porcelain box. “Third Young Master, I cannot refuse.

“I was sent away when I was four, then ignored for ten years. Now they have brought me back because they want me to marry you. My parents will not allow me to refuse.

“If you refuse me, then I will either be sent back to the estate and locked up there until I die, or married off to anyone they choose…”

Being married off at random would still be the better outcome.

If I were given to some old man as a concubine, that would be like falling into a pit of fire, a wolf’s den, and a tiger’s lair all at once.

“Then are you willing?”

“What difference does it make if I am not? An arm cannot twist a thigh. When I came back, I was alone. The two maids and the old servant woman at my side are not truly mine, and their contracts are not in my hands. To put it plainly, I am still alone.

“On the estate, I never learned a single character. My legitimate elder sister made things difficult for me and told me to recite the Three Character Classic. I had never learned it at all, so how could I recite it? Yet she hit me without even asking why.

“Last night I fell ill and burned with fever until I was barely conscious. Siyue went out to find a doctor, but she could not bring one back. Even today, no one asked me whether I was feeling any better. The clothes I am wearing do not fit either. They are too big.

“The hair ornaments look pretty, but the color has already faded.

“They ignored me for ten years, then brought me back to marry me off without ever asking whether I was willing. I am not fighting back because I am repaying the debt of being born and raised.

“After I marry, I will not come back here unless I absolutely must.

“Third Young Master, if there is no one already in your heart, then choose me. I do not eat much. I have even fewer demands when it comes to clothes. I will not throw petty tantrums. Though I am not like the daughters of noble families, skilled in zither, chess, calligraphy, painting, poetry, and song, I can grow flowers. I am very good at planting flowers and tending grass. Once any flower or plant comes into my hands, there is nothing I cannot keep alive.”

Third Young Master Gu asked, “You did not seem eager before. Why are you suddenly willing to marry me?”

“If I do not marry you, I do not know what will happen afterward. Whether I will be sent back to the estate, married off to anyone at random, or given to some rotten old man as a concubine.

“I am afraid.

“Even more afraid that I will never see my wet nurse or my elder brother again.

“You said you were poisoned and do not have long to live. Then while you are still alive, I will do my utmost to take care of you. When the time comes for you to leave, say a few good words for me. Whether I am allowed to live on my own or retire to a temple for quiet cultivation, at least I can live cleanly.

“I will no longer have to let my parents use the debt of raising me to hold me hostage.”

Everywhere in the garden, the fragrance of flowers lingered like blossoms themselves.

A light breeze blew, carrying the scent straight to us.

After I finished speaking, I said no more.

Third Young Master Gu was silent as well. After a long while, he rose from his chair and bowed to me.

“Since Second Miss does not disdain me, Chengyan agrees to this marriage with Second Miss. After we are wed, I will teach Second Miss to read and write. Before I die, I will arrange a path forward for Second Miss, so that in the future, Second Miss need not be held hostage by anyone and may live your own life in peace and joy.”

When I heard that, my eyes reddened despite myself.

After my wet nurse and my elder brother, he was the first person I felt would treat me well.

I quickly said, “Then you must live a few more years.

“It would be even better if you found the antidote soon and lived to a hundred!”