Chapter 4
At first, my men still addressed me as princess. Later, they simply called me their liege.
A year later, Pei Xuan staged a mutiny. In the middle of the night, he stormed the residences of the prefect and the regional commander, cut off both their heads, and seized control of the frontier. From then on, its tax revenues and troops belonged to me.
Only when the treasury was opened did we discover how much money and silk the prefect had hoarded. Among it were many small gold ingots made by the Xiongnu.
Pei Xuan was delighted. “Proof that the damned official was colluding with the enemy!”
I wrote to Mother: The prefect and regional commander of the northern frontier had secretly conspired with our enemies…
I looked away from the two heads on the desk, their eyes still wide in death, tightened my grip on the brush, and wrote on.
The prefect was killed by arrows while attempting to flee. The commander refused to submit and resisted to the end, leaving your daughter no choice but to kill him… I await Your Majesty’s instructions on how to proceed.
I waited and waited. No reply came.
Early spring rain pattered down. Pei Xuan sat beneath the veranda, polishing his sword without a care.
I watched him and suddenly asked, “Pei Xuan, did that letter really reach the capital?”
He turned sharply, looking deeply wronged. “What do you mean, my liege? Would we ever do anything to harm you?”
Never mind. I had known I would not get the truth from him. I both permitted and wavered over what Pei Xuan and the others were doing. No one resented my indecision. They simply kept taking care of the things I wanted to do but ought not to do.
Recruiting troops and buying horses, for instance. Buying influence at court.
They were sons of great families. They had money, ambition, and a habit of attaching themselves to anyone who might help them rise.
I let myself be drawn along, half willing, half reluctant. I was merely afraid their hopes would come to nothing.
Three years later, Mother, gravely ill, sent an edict commanding me to return to the capital.
It stated plainly that Nanzhao had repeatedly harassed our border in recent years, causing constant warfare. The two countries already shared a bloody history, and endless fighting was no lasting solution. To ease the tension, build friendship, and let the people recover, circumstances required a marriage alliance with Nanzhao, turning weapons of war into tokens of peace.
“We command Our daughter Ning Yan to return at once, to relieve Our pressing need and fulfill her duties of loyalty and filial devotion.”
I read the edict over and over by the dim candlelight. It was almost funny.
I had heard that Mother’s health was declining by the day, while the arguments at court over the succession grew louder. Even Yaohua, whose marriage had long since put her out of contention, had acquired supporters.
Was Mother going to use me to smooth the new sovereign’s path?
Pei Xuan stood by the window, half in light, half in shadow.
“How can a mother be so unfair? My liege, do you truly not hate her?”
“Pei Xuan,” I said wearily, “mind your tongue.”
He lowered his head.
The next instant, the door behind him burst open and several personal guards and advisers crowded in.
“Brother Pei, if you won’t say it, we will!”
“Your Highness, my liege! Why are you so afraid to act? You have an edict recalling you, so your return is legitimate. You have an army behind you, and us to open doors for you…”
The outspoken young man flushed and shook off the person tugging at his arm.
“I can’t speak for anyone else, but give the word, and my Li family will be the first to serve!”
“So what if you are a princess? A woman can be emperor. Your mother is a woman! Forgive me for putting it bluntly, but that old hag is about to sell you off. Don’t do something that will make us ashamed of you!”
That went too far. Everyone else drew a tense breath.
Li Wei had always had a violent temper, despite his fair, delicate face.
I was displeased at first. But when I saw the moisture in his eyes and his face flushed pink as peach blossoms, half my anger vanished. “What would you have me do, then?” I asked with a smile.
His eyes lit up. “We escort you to your wedding as an excuse, then fight our way into the capital and drive straight through the palace.”
I looked up at the others. Their knowing silence told me this was already their common decision.
Yes. Young men ought to win glory and make their mark, living up to their family names.
I looked around at them. “Very well.”
Pei Xuan spoke quietly, a little guiltily. “If you think it too rash, we need not actually rebel. We could stay on the frontier with the army and hold our ground. In any case, we do not want to see you sent away in a marriage alliance.”
“Who said anything about rebellion?” I smiled.
“Mother has summoned me. How could I disobey? We shall go back and ask her properly. Perhaps she will change her mind.”
“Exactly! Just ask.” Li Wei nodded repeatedly, delighted.
Everyone burst out laughing. It was all most amicable.
Yes. Her daughter was coming to seek an answer.
This time, Mother would open the door.
And when she did, she would see that I was the child most like her.