Chapter 8

Early the next morning, Grandfather took Song Jin out. Song Jin still wore the same black cloak, lined with gray squirrel fur and now much too short for him, along with an old pair of padded shoes.

Heavy snow drifted from the sky as I took the cook out with me.

We owned only one carriage, and Father needed it for court every day. Today, I had made a point of speaking to his servant, who brought it home as soon as he had delivered Father.

There had been a great deal of snow this year, almost daily. The north might suffer a disaster. We needed to stock up on rice and flour before prices rose and left us hungry.

We had a vegetable cellar, where we had stored radishes, Chinese cabbage, squashes, and the like at the end of autumn.

The cook had also cured meat, stuffed sausages, and made plenty of pickles.

Grandfather gave me a banknote for five hundred taels. We first visited a grain and oil shop, then bought chicken, duck, fish, meat, and all sorts of dried provisions.

We went to a shoe shop as well.

By the time we came home, it was nearly noon. The cook ordered several loads of firewood from the end of the lane. Now, even if grain prices rose, we could hold out for a while.

I spread the new plain blue satin on the couch. On the heated bed lay several pieces of sable fur Grandmother had given me while she was alive, to take with me as part of my dowry.

I was not much good at embroidery, but I could make clothes, shoes, and socks.

A heavy cloak was not difficult in itself, but piecing together those scraps of fur was another matter. I worked from midday until dusk and still had little to show for it.

Grandfather and Song Jin returned at suppertime. They had been drinking outside. Grandfather had only a bowl of porridge before going to rest.

Song Jin did not show it plainly, but there was a slight smile in his eyes. Something good must have happened.

I asked what he and Grandfather had gone out to do.

He shook his head slightly and lifted the corners of his mouth.

“It’s good news. Only I can’t tell you yet. You’ll know after the metropolitan examination.”

Whether from the cold or the wine, his cheeks were a little flushed, and there was happiness in his voice.

“As long as it’s good news, I don’t have to know. But there’s something I need to tell you. Yesterday I went to your mother and said that from now on, she must buy whatever she wants to eat or use with her own money.”

“You know the position my father holds. It’s not especially demanding, but there’s not much to be had on the side. Supporting the family on his salary is difficult enough. If we go on spending without restraint, someone in this house will starve.” I spoke quietly, sneaking a look at his expression.

“Yes. You’re right. If she goes on living like that, someone will starve sooner or later. I understand. Since you’re managing the household, do as you think best.”

He nodded and spoke with complete sincerity.

But his eyes were full of bitterness.

“Song Jin, I don’t dislike your mother because she married into our family and brought you with her. I’ve already told you my reasons.”

“Since you’ve come into our home, you’re part of our family. And since we’re family, don’t worry about it. Just concentrate on your studies. I’ll take care of the rest.”

“I won’t let you or Manman go hungry or cold. When you’re a great official one day, you can stand up for me.”

He looked at me, his eyes difficult to read, and said nothing for a long time. I tilted my head, wondering what he was thinking.

“Song Jin, I mean it. Don’t worry. I’ll manage everything. All you need to do now is study.”

Afraid he did not believe me, I patted my chest to give my promise weight.

Suddenly he smiled, then nodded again.

“Look at you. So capable.” He lifted a hand and stroked the top of my head.

When he smiled, neither spring flowers nor an autumn moon could compare.