Chapter 4

My strategy was a resounding success.

I’d lulled Murong Su to sleep. Unfortunately, I was so exhausted I couldn’t keep my own eyes open. I climbed into bed and dropped straight off.

I didn’t even know when he left the next morning.

Once he was gone, my trouble arrived.

The empress ordered me to pay my respects.

I’d never had to before.

Reluctantly, I went to her residence. Her maid informed me that Her Majesty was taking her afternoon rest. I was late and would have to kneel outside in the sun until she was ready to receive me.

I shoved the maid aside.

Oh, get lost. What was with all these rules?

I charged straight in. “Your Majesty! I’ve come to pay my respects!”

“You can’t! How dare you behave like this! Guards! Drag her out!”

As if a few maids could stop me.

At home, I’d feared assassination, so I’d kept up my exercise and trained in martial arts. By now, I was all lean muscle.

I burst into the bedchamber. The empress sat at a writing desk, staring at me in astonishment.

Her maid was just about to complain when I cut in. “Useless servants! Her Majesty isn’t resting at all. If word got out, people might think the mother of our nation, the mistress of the inner palace, was deliberately tormenting her consorts!”

The empress’s long hair fell over her shoulders. Her features were delicate and gentle, her skin like snow. When she raised her eyes to me, she truly looked like an immortal maiden descended from Mount Gushe.

Her eyes were clear and soft. When they met mine, it felt as though a spring of cool water flowed into my heart.

I’d seen her from a distance before. How had I missed how beautiful she was?

I took a deep breath.

I’d found my dream woman.

Batting my eyelashes and pitching my voice high and sweet, I said, “Your Majesty, I’m just a silly little thing. I only wanted to see you sooner. You’re not angry, are you?”

I’d found my dream woman, so yes, I shamelessly turned the charm all the way up.

She smiled. “Of course not. They’re young and don’t know any better. You’ve come all this way in the heat. How could I leave you waiting outside? Come, sit down. I’ll have someone bring you a bowl of iced milk curd.”

Damn you, Murong Su!

This woman should have been my wife!

Instead of sitting opposite her, I plopped down beside her and scooted closer.

The empress stiffened, but ultimately didn’t move away.

Blushing, I looked at her. “Your Majesty, you’re like an older sister I’ve never met. May I call you Sister?”

“You want to call me Sister?” She smiled incredulously, conflicting emotions entering her eyes.

“Yes.”

In this world, this dark, suffocating world where I could scream with all my might and still make no sound, I had already become fearless.

I told her frankly, “I like you very much. I want to be your friend, Wei Qinghe. Your sister.”

So much passed through her eyes: disbelief, disdain, amusement. I saw it all.

None of it kept me from enjoying my iced milk curd when it arrived.

I wanted to be more normal.

But I couldn’t anymore.

I was too lonely, too stifled. I could only tear myself open and urgently show people everything inside, expose my sincerity and nakedness, to prove that I was still alive.